


Summer House

by Laurabella2930



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Established Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, F/M, Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen - Freeform, Felicity/Oliver - Freeform, Fluff, Gen, Missed Chances, Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak friendship, Oliver and Felicity, Past Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, Secrets, Soulmates, True Love, broken trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2018-11-01 09:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 44,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10918641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurabella2930/pseuds/Laurabella2930
Summary: Summary: Oliver Queen has been missing for two years. On the eve of his 2nd anniversary the local paper with the families consent has decided to run a memorial article since one was never done when he first went missing. Sara Lance was assigned the story at first but know the paper’s hotshot reporter Felicity Smoak has been assigned the story. Felicity must now put her personal feelings aside as she searches for the truth to Oliver Queen’s disappearance.FYI I suck at summaries so please give it a shot.





	1. Changing Writers

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

_Preamble:  
_

_Red tapestries, faded hardwood and, broken glass surrounded his tall, angular form. He pushed his fingers along the white marble window sill; the dust fell over the beveled edge with ease as his cold blue eyes peered through the scratched up window panes._

_The empty branches scratched along the battered, abandoned glass; the windows now were simply a broken reflection of a place that once felt like his true home. He shifted his gaze and, let the rhythmic pace of the wind along the glass ease the growing loneliness within his hardened heart. The clock along the stone mantel clanged, the windows rattled and, the shutters snapped along the home’s stone exterior._

_His sharp inhale seemed silent when the wind once more howled, “Two years tomorrow,” he groaned to the creaking walls. “Two years and no one’s come…” he bemoaned as the lone flicker of light finally went out..._

 

 

_**Chapter One: Changing Writers** _

The room around her was filled with the sounds of tapping fingers and thudding brains. Her brightly painted fingernails tapped along the faded black keys of her worn office keyboard. She tapped at the edge of the archaic machine and, let her furrowed brow fade into a frustrated one.

“Every life has a story, every journey has a reason and, every life has to find its ultimate purpose.”

Once she read the line aloud she immediately pressed her eager pinkie over the fairly worn backspace key. She watched with anticipated annoyance while each word slowly began to simply fade away.

She heard the sharp scowl of her thoroughly overworked officemate. “Please explain to me how that cow expects us to produce miracles from absolutely nothing!”

Felicity grumbled in sour agreement, “I take it you’ve been given the memorial story from hell?”

She heard Sara’s feet ramming along the thin barrier between their two small, corner side desks. Felicity moved her feet back instinctively when the points of Sara’s three inch pumps came inching through the cardboard like barrier. “Maude’s lost her damn mind! The witch won’t talk, her brat tells nothing more than fabricated lies and don’t get me started on the other one…” she rambled before Felicity heard her forehead slamming over her desk’s edge.

She groaned in pain when Felicity gently argued, “Ummm the other one is your sister is she not?”

“What’s your point Smoak?” Sara would have glowered had it not been for the corkboard divider between their frustrated faces.

“My point,” Felicity nearly stammered while her fingers knotted in her lap, “Is that Maude gave you the headline because of your connection to the family. Perhaps it would be prudent…”

“Don’t finish that thought my former best friend. I’m not and I repeat not asking my sniveling, gold digging sister for a way to con a story out of a grieving mother!” Sara nearly screamed before Felicity heard her small fists slamming along the divider.

Felicity winced when her thumbtacked papers fell soundlessly through the space between the tables edge and the divider. “Well if you’re so uncomfortable then approach it from a different angle?” she suggested with an audible gulp. “I mean let’s be honest other than his police record you know next to nothing about him,” she added with trepidation.

Sara’s razor edged voice seemed to fade, “Or perhaps my sweet, almost doormat like best friend could just take the assignment instead?”

“Doormat?” Felicity growled towards Sara’s condescending suggestion.

She heard the wheels of her desk chair rolling slowly over the faded hardwood floors. “Lissy…” she began to beg, “Laurel likes you, Thea actually knows your name and Moira finds you pleasant..” she began to argue as she slowly sauntered around the invisible corner of their joined desks.

Felicity’s annoyed, crystal, blue eyes fell over Sara’s strong yet still petie form. “Yeah because he intervened in my relationship with Tommy…” she chirped in aggravation.

Her sad eyes fell towards the floor. Felicity watched with interest as she folded her form into the small spare chair near the edge of the storage closet sized office. She lifted one slim, tanned leg until the tip of her red colored heel was over the edge of her black rimmed desk. Her red pencil skirt slid up to almost mid-thigh when she slowly scooted down along the green plastic veneer. Felicity crossed her legs and placed her joined fingers over her raised kneecap. She gazed over her solid black frames and cocked her interested brow. Sara smiled lightly while she placed her joined fingers over her cream colored blouse. “Yeah and that means you’ll tell the truth of his life and not just the facts of his death,” she sighed as Felicity fell quiet.

She cocked her head before she felt her neck cracking from stress, “How far have you gotten?” she breathed before her straight back slumped into a defeated line.

Sara let her dirty blonde hair fall over the back of the uncomfortable chair when she uttered, “I have the interviews, the statements and of course the files but…”

It was the elongated but that made Felicity frown, “For christ sakes Sara the house isn’t haunted!”

“Yeah but it’s where  he was last seen!” she argued almost instantly while her body remained completely relaxed.

Felicity let out an empty laugh, “So you can’t finish because you’re afraid of a “supposedly” haunted house?”

She knew Sara didn’t miss her air quotations when she tried to kick the edge of her worn keyboard. Felicity rolled her bright eyes and tapped her brightly painted fingernails along her tweed colored blazer. “I’m right aren’t I?” she giggled almost too happily.

Sara grunted seconds later, “I’m telling Maude we’ve switched, you’re taking the billionaire gone too soon tribute and, I’m taking the tired poet’s last work was timeless piece.”

Felicity knew Sara was scared but it wasn’t of the house, she was scared of the reliving the night her sister lost a boyfriend and, Felicity lost someone she once foolishly considered to be her soulmate.

* * *

Maude agreed to the switch of course; she was about making a profit and, with Felicity writing this piece the papers would fly off the stands. Felicity tapped the bottom of her red pen along the edge of the coiled phone cord while the dial tone filled her left ear. The office around her was quiet, the lights were low and, the blinds over the one lone window were drawn leaving her alone in the dark, isolated room. She tapped her fingers over the receiver while it continued to ring endlessly along the edges of her eardrum. Her small huff of exasperation was muted when a sleepy voice croaked, “Hello?”

Her lips curved involuntarily, “I take it someone took a sleeping pill or two with her evening Brandy,” she laughed slowly if not awkwardly while her pale pink lips grew into a tight smile.

“Hmmmm hello sweetheart,” came her tired if not slightly drunken reply. “I’m assuming you’re calling to set up another dreadful interview?” she nearly slurred before Felicity heard a loud thump.

She bit back a tight laugh, “Moria did you just stumble into the couch?”

“Well…” she stammered before she let out a drunken hiccup, “That is why you called isn’t?”

Felicity let the pen fall over the warped desk surface, her fingers itched for useful employment when she quietly replied, “How did you know?”

The other end went silent, all she could hear for endless seconds was the sound of branches along the ageless glass of the stained window panes. She swallowed roughly and, nearly broke the silence when Moira hiccuped drunkenly, “Maude called of course. She wanted to ensure that a change in writer wouldn’t upset Thea or myself. I assured her that you were preferred to begin with so I’ve been awaiting your call..”

Felicity placed her fingers over her trembling lips, “Preferred?” she gulped before segwaying into her next question. “Are you sure that you’re up for another interview?”

She heard the clink of a shot glass as Moira poured herself another tumbler of aged whiskey. “I can’t pretend the anniversary of his disappearance isn’t upon us nor can I” Felicity heard her gnarled swallow through the phone. Her drunken voice made her already fractured heart break when she finally let out a mumbled “you know ignore my lost sex appeal, my lost youth, or Robert’s affair…” Felicity moved her tapping pen to her lower lip, she swept her shoulder length blonde hair over her shoulder and, inwardly groaned at what she had to do. .

“Okay you’ve been drinking since noon haven’t you?” she finally concluded when Moira’s words became nothing more than slurred grunts.

“You used to date my son what do you think?” she nearly choked as Felicity listened to her swallow another glass of the vile liquid.

“Tommy was your adoptive son,” Felicity meagerly pointed out before she finally added, “and he’s been with Laurel for what two years now?”

Moira’s glass must have fallen because seconds later the sound of cracked glass filled her already bruised ears. “Moira do you need me to come over?” she finally asked once her subconscious was about to eat her alive.

She heard a grunt, then she heard another glass shatter before Moira’s booze laden voice filled her shuddering soul, “I’ll see you at eight sweetheart…”

Felicity didn’t need to respond she knew her silence would say more than her words ever could. She let the receiver fall over the aging phone cradle then placed her fingers upon her aching temples. The wind howled for the third night in a row, the moon was nearly full in the cloud heavy sky and, the walls seemed to ache with age and, crumbling drywall. Felicity mumbled as her eyes fell, “Tomorrow should be fun…” before she glanced at the black page before her.

* * *

Memories for some people meant stories of fond times and happy moments but, for her they often led to lost moments and broken trust. Felicity peered through narrow eyes at the oval shaped mirror before her. The surface was scratched, the rim was rusted and, the entire upper frame was littered with dozens of candid snapshots from many years before. At one corner was the Sara corner. She had shots of her smiling, shots of her frowning and even some of her flipping her off. Through it all her bright smile betrayed the truth of her good natured heart.

The other corner held pictures of the family she’d once hoped to be apart of. Felicity brushed her fingers over Moira’s striking profile before her red nails fell over a ten year old Thea. She furrowed her brows in curiosity when her fingertips brushed over the edge of another hidden photo. She pushed the corner of the front one down and, gasped when his bright, blue eyes were revealed. The hidden candid was one she’d nearly forgotten about since she’d taken great care to conceal it from view. She carefully ran her fingers down the image of his innocent looking face. He’d been about eighteen when this shot was captured. The summer house was behind them looking old, damaged and, nearly destroyed from a violent storm. Felicity groaned at the camera angle but kept her lips shut while she continued to marvel at the way his eyes seemed to dance in an old, wrinkled photograph. Her eyes fell once more on the picture of Thea, her heart constricted and, her stomach rolled when an unwelcome thought breezed through her mind; she sighed quietly as her hand fell, “If you only knew how sweet he could be…” She let the moment float through her like the waves upon the dry sand knowing soon she would once more be at the precipice of the beast’s lair.

She finally laughed at her sappy sentiment when the waves of endless emotion finally began to abate. How sweet he could be, she laughed lowly, “Perhaps I’m letting my own emotions cloud my judgement…” she marveled through the bitter sounding laughter of her own twisted heart.

As with most mirrors your image follows you perfectly. She contemplated this simple fact while gazing critically as her reflection that mirrored her movements instead of offering any sage words of much needed wisdom; once she’d decided to veer away from memory lane. She stared wordlessly at her pale, drawn face. Her bright blue eyes seemed colder, perhaps even detached as they scanned along the lines of her hidden figure. She swept her fingers over her collar and, smoothed out the rumpled edges of the white shirt. She rubbed her full lips together while pushing a few stray strands of hair behind the shells of her ears. Her fingers brushed over the piercing near the edge of her right ear’s upper shell, her smile grew momentarily before it once more faded into a stiff frown. Some memories were better left buried she mentally groaned while she gazed over her stiff 5’6 form.

Her tweed jacket was in place, her three inch black pumps were securely over her feet, her black pencil skirt fit over her curved hips perfectly while, her white blouse highlighted the creamy texture of her pale skin. She muttered, “I should have chosen contacts....” when her glasses continued to slide down the slim bridge of her button nose. She mentally threw the objection aside because, she knew if she wanted help she’d need sympathy and, the glasses generally aided in that endeavour.

Deciding that she was ready she sauntered towards the small kitchen off the cramped living space that was filled with Sara’s array of both clean and dirty clothes. Felicity smiled at her messy housemate while bending down to pick up a discarded skirt. “Ummm Sarbear did you happen to make coffee when you tornado’d through the family room this morning?” she called out tiredly.

“Yeah Lissy and I’ve left you a shot of whiskey just in case you feel the need to down some liquid courage!” Sara yelled from her cramped bathroom.

Felicity threw the skirt over the bar stool along the island counter then moved around the cramped corner. She picked up the nearly full mug and took a long sip, she smiled warmly when the burn of the alcohol swam through her belly, “I see you decided I’d need more than the shot glass?” Felicity accused with a smile before she downed another long gulp.

Sara muttered but didn’t appear, “Well Lissy she’s not called the Dragon Lady for nothing.”

Felicity hated to agree but, knew deep down in her soul she was right. Knocking back the remnants of the mug she gulped as the liquid slid down her throat, “I’ll text you when I’m on the way home Sarbear!”

“Okay, I’ll pick up some pasta for dinner,” she replied before Felicity heard another item of clothing hit her already covered floor. Felicity rolled her blue eyes, grabbed her purse and, muttered beneath her coffee laced breath, “Oh I’m sure that means I will…” before quietly leaving through the front door.

* * *

Most homes were simply four walls, some windows and a front door with a garage for two cars. This was no home this was a living, breathing statement of opulence on high. The building itself consisted of thirteen corners, two towers and, around six doors near the front and sides. Leroy the front gate attendant gave her a cocky grin when she maneuvered her compact SUV up to the sensor locked gates. “Hey there sweetheart! I didn’t think we’d see your bright smile ever again after you and Mr. Queen parted ways!”

Her head swam, if Leroy wasn’t aware of her appointment with Moira then that would mean she’d need another way in. Her head spiraled for a mere second before she realized her reason for being there was already resting along the tip of her tongue.

Felicity pursed her lips and, grunted very rudely, “Leroy just open the gate so I can see if Moira’s even able to move after last night’s bender.”

The balding, aging man’s kind brown eyes fell in dismay, “She’s been drinking again then?”

Felicity choked back her gasp of shock then managed to nod sadly, “Yeah so I wanted to check on her if that’s okay?” His saddened voice and, dismayed eyes made her skin prickle with intense feelings of guilt. Leroy was an older man whose family chose to leave after his own battle with alcohol led to multiple DUI’s and, the mandatory counseling that came as a parting gift. He of course felt for his employer and, soon Felicity felt waves of shame rolling through her once she realized she’d crossed an invisible line.

Leroy of course pushed in the same 1245 code, Felicity grinned gratefully before reaching down into the small open compartment along her door. Smiles were good and all but, she knew token’s of genuine affection were better for easing one’s guilt after they’d accidentally stepped on an active emotional landmine.  She stubbed her index finger when she reached for the small, worn out copy of “Moby Dick”. Her eyes flickered in slight pain when she mumbled, “Oh here’s the book I promised to bring you if you ever saw me again!”

Leroy took the aged binding and, the frayed pages like it was a gift from God. Felicity smiled in earnest as she slowly moved through the opening gates. Leroy nearly wept, “Thank you sweetheart,” as his oversized fingers clamped down gratefully around the worn books cover.

Felicity nodded then mouthed “You’re welcome,” before his grateful face vanished from sight. She glanced at his reflection once more before her eyes fell upon the castle that was Queen Manor. Her car bobbed and rocked over the cobble stone path, she felt her fingers tighten over the leather steering wheel as her greedy eyes fell over the castle before her. The structure itself was built in 1884, the home was remodeled in 1904 and then again in 1970 before the final update in 2012. Felicity gulped when the front fountains came into view. The grass was cut, the stone angel wings were wet from the flowing water and, the gardeners were about with fresh flowers for the coming summer season. Felicity muttered, “She still loves to replant…” as she passed a line of unplanted red orchids.

Her staff was diligent as usual. Murphy her butler was already standing by the door since Leroy buzzed him once he’d opened the gates, Craig her driver had his hand over her door handle before she’d managed to undo her seatbelt. Felicity smiled then tilted her head so her words couldn’t be read by Murphy’s careful eye. “She’s replanting the front beds again?”

Craig stood at 5’7 with red, curly hair and a small rounded stomach. He smiled gently making his freckled nose appear almost bright red. “She’s just trying to keep busy Ms. Felicity,” he finally remarked once she stepped out of the car.

Felicity’s small smile faltered but, she didn’t let that affect her overall manners. She placed a friendly hand over his slumped shoulder and gave it tight squeeze. “I think we all miss him in our own unique ways,” she commented dryly before the younger man’s lips curled.

“He had a kinder side Felicity,” the once bullied man mentioned as Felicity began to move toward the open front door.

She sighed regretfully knowing just how kind Oliver could truly be, “Yes I suppose that’s true,” she offered before giving him a quick goodbye. Curtis waved his fair skinned hand before closing the door of her red SUV and moving quickly down the narrow drive to aid one of the various gardeners.

Murphy of course was stern as usual with his almost procedural like greeting. “Miss. Smoak, the lady of the house has been expecting you.”

She hid her taken aback emotions by nodding curtly. He smiled dryly and, began appraising her with his judgement green eyes.

Felicity glared at his graying hair, before her wrinkled eyes fell upon his liver spotted face, “You know you could pretend not to hate me just to shake things up Murphy,” she scolded with anger and a bit of repressed sadness.

His old voice made her stomach rattle nervously, “I hate why you’re here not you Felicity, never once did I hate you.”

Felicity while taken aback by his honest confession couldn’t help but, be both unnerved and touched by his words. She glanced over his worn black clothes. His suit was wrinkled, his collar was undone and his eyes no longer twinkled like the midmorning sun; now they simply stared at her emptily. “How bad is she?” Felicity croaked when his eyes shifted to the men working behind her.

“She’s no longer sober at all Miss Felicity.  Miss Thea’s with Robert in the city while Mrs. Queen wonders around the endless estate with a bottle of booze strapped to her side,” he admitted once he was sure no prying ears were wandering about.

Felicity pushed her purse along her shoulder, “I’m just here about Oliver’s disappearance Murphy. I won’t tell the world she’s lost herself in grief and booze,” she assured him with a gentle whisper.

He moved his aging hand toward the foyer and cocked his angular chin toward the main floor’s library. “Just remember she’s fragile,” he quietly warned as Felicity walked carefully along the marble floors.   

She heard the door close behind her back. His black shoes tapped along the black, white and, gray marble floors with quiet ease as she slowly stepped through the familiar halls. Her crystal blue eyes danced along the dark wooden railings of the twin staircases around her. She walked past the hallways that led to the formal sitting area and, then past the swinging door that led to the galley kitchen. Felicity noted with somber realization that some of the paintings had been removed and, replaced with cheap knockoffs that wouldn’t fool even the most uneducated eye.

She kept her hands folded over her purse as she stepped off the marble floors and, onto the soft area rugs that littered the original hardwood floors of the only section of the home that had been left untouched since its construction. The library had two french doors that when opened allowed the light from the overhead window of the foyer to pour into the first few feet of the untouched room. Once inside you either were awestruck by the two floors of books that rose from the floor to the ceiling or by the wall of stained glass windows; either way your senses were left frenzied.  

“You once stated that the writers of Beauty and the Beast must have stolen the idea for the library from this very room,” a very sober sounding woman noted from the antique off white couches near the first row of stained glass windows.

Felicity let her dancing eyes drift along the the various ladders and, shelves before she replied with whimsy, “And I stand by that statement Mrs. Queen.”

Moira’s face brightened as she tipped her tea cup back along her parted lips. “I’d say Moira would be just fine Felicity,” she gently scolded before the lukewarm tea passed her eager lips.

Felicity smirked, “Okay so if we’re playing the old friends game let’s talk about the contents of that tea cup Moira.”

She placed the lightly painted flowered tea cup over the saucer on the faded, wooden table top. Her slim fingers brushed along her temples as she pursed her thin, undecorated lips inward, “My son’s missing, Tommy’s taken up with a vile golddigger, Thea’s living with Robert and, he’s still sleeping with his assistant so I’d say some rum at 8 am is not exactly unexpected,” she proclaimed with stern words and, a slightly flared temper.

Felicity held up her thin hands in surrender. “I’m not here to argue about your choices Moira I’m just here to find out what happened at that damn house the night Oliver disappeared,” she prattled nervously while she remained frozen in the center of the book lined room.

Moira’s fingers fell to her perfectly coiffed hair, Felicity’s heart stammered as the older woman’s thin fingers pushed the thick strands back behind her delicate hair. “Come here sweetheart, I know you have a deadline and, I know you’ll be kind with the details,” Moira finally breathed in muted acceptance.

Felicity stepped forward and cringed when her heels slipped along the small stretches of exposed flooring. “So he went to the Summer house…” Felicity started quietly while Moira leaned back along the faded flowers of the old Victorian couch.

“He was upset that much I recall but, over what he wouldn’t tell me,” Moira started tonelessly.

“Wasn’t he working for Robert on the election campaign?” Felicity asked cautiously knowing that while she wanted to be gentle she was still a reporter who had a story with a very close deadline looming before her.

Moira’s laugh wasn’t one of humor, it was one of veiled torment. “Yes he was as a matter of fact. He’d been spending hours with his vile father and, that skeletal bore whom he settled for when someone better didn’t come along…”

Felicity let her purse fall off her shoulder then placed it gently on the table before her. She picked up Moira’s abandoned cup and took a small...well perhaps a large sip before choking over the burn of the spiced rum, “Someone better?”

Moira’s eyes always felt ageless so it startled her when her age was reflected in her once bright brown orbs. She crossed her legs and, placed her now joined hands over her surprisingly flat stomach, “Let’s just say once upon a time he had a tutor who made him act like a genuine human being…and, let’s just say I rather liked the person he became,” she explained almost emotionlessly.

Felicity of course stammered like a drunken fool, “He had a tutor?”

“Yes he was failing a math course I believe so he used the Summer house to meet her in secret…” Moira again explained but, this time it was with a flicker of curiosity.

Felicity bypassed the topic and, moved back towards the original reason for their meeting, “Right so anyways he went to the Summer house after seeing something at work that aggravated him?”

Moira cocked her quizzical brow but let the subject drop. “Yes he left a message for his father on the answering machine. He sounded frantic and, bit concerned over some strange equations along the borders of some old book he’d found in the safe behind the Monet in his office,” she continued again with no emotion in her tone.

Felicity by now had downed the rest of Moira’s morning cocktail and, was sitting on the antique chair that matched the gold rimming of Moira’s couch. “You think Robert was up to something illegal and Oliver found the evidence?”

Moira took Felicity’s conclusion and, took it one step forward, “I think that Robert has plans for this city. I think he’s intending to play God with the population of this city and, I think our son was planning on both confronting him and, I hope stopping him.”

Felicity paled, “You think Robert heard the message and, what followed him up there to silence him for good?”

Moira’s eyes flashed coldly, “I know that once Oliver reached the summer house he found Laurel and Tommy together in his bed.” Felicity’s stomach rolled for personal reasons as Moira’s voice continued to weave around the room. “I know that he ran back out into the balmy summer night with a shattered heart and a wounded soul. I also know that Robert didn’t come home till 4 am that night…”

Felicity’s brows arched as her eyes widened, “Is that why Sara wouldn’t go to the house?”

Moira nodded painfully, “She thinks we’ll find Oliver’s body buried in hole out back,” she wept with pain and torment. “She also thinks that’s why Laurel and Tommy won’t go there either, she thinks they saw Robert kill his own son but…”

Felicity’s heart oddly enough stopped at that uttered but, “You think he might be alive don’t you?” she finally whispered with her own heart now racing with unexpressed hope for the mourning woman before her.

Moira sniffed back a gnarled sob then managed to whimper tonelessly, “I think that my son’s story needs to be told and, I think you’re the one to tell it.”

Felicity eyed the tea pot eagerly before she managed to babble, “I’ll need the keys…”

She heard the sound of shifting metal clanging together over the rough wooden surface between them. “Robert visits the house every few weeks…” Moira warned as her slim fingers pushed the keys forward. “You’ll have four days to search the grounds so I recommend you use the time wisely.”

Felicity’s trembling fingers brushed along the golden keys, “I’ll find out what happened to your son Moira,” she breathed as her fingers folded around the gold keys. “I’ll find him…” she whispered once more as she slowly drew the keys towards her lap.


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First off thanks for the kind words on the first chapter! I appreciate anyone who took the time to read it! This chapter is about Felicity's memories of her often complicated if not hidden relationship with Oliver Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter Two: Memories**

 

 

The rain along her dingy windows was enough to muddle anyone’s thoughts but, usually the rain helped focus her...tonight however the rain wasn’t providing its usual soothing balm. The alarm on her phone buzzed, her eyes flickered over the display before her fingers landed over the answer icon. Moments later her beige colored walls were painted with the bright hues of Sara’s cheery if not slightly drunken voice. “Oh Lissy let me tell you about my day!”

Felicity glanced at the battered clock near the edge of her desk that subsequently was edged along the wall right beneath the flimsy, plastic window sill. “Sara don’t you have an article to finish?” she lectured when the flashing red lights suddenly changed to 2:38 am.

“Yeah, yeah but, seriously you’ll never believe who I ran into tonight!” she nearly squawked like a crow as it tries to steal a stale crumb of bread.

Felicity’s forehead fell over her bent knuckles, “Who the freaking Queen of England?” she mused while Sara prattled away.

“No, but she’s about to be the new Queen of Starling City!”

Felicity’s head inched upwards slowly, “And how is my former boyfriend and his soon to be wife?” she spat with exhaustion instead of venom.

“Well she’s sporting a rock the size of the Eiffel Tower and he’s sporting a brand new rolex so I’d say they’re both doing rather well,” Sara confided before her voice dropped an octave, “but that’s not why I’m calling my amazing friend. I’m calling because while I was eavesdropping I overheard them tell a reporter that they’re going to announce their engagement at the Summer house in five days!” Felicity’s face immediately paled when Sara added, “Isn’t that amazing! That will be the perfect way to wrap up your story!”  

Felicity groaned, “Yeah perfect,” before her forehead fell over her knuckles once more.

“Ummm Lissy you don’t sound thrilled,” she noted with slurred words.

“It’s just complicated that’s all,” Felicity grumbled knowingly.

“Why? Are you still worried about Tommy finding out about you and Oliver?” came her next brilliant if not drunken remark.

Felicity balked at her stab of painful clarity, “Sara it’s way too late to have that conversation right now.

Sara of course simply prattled on, “Yeah, yeah it’s always either too early or late for you LIssy.”

Felicity giggled at the absurdity of the statement, “Sarbear there’s nothing to tell I was his tutor in highschool, he tried to kiss me on a dare I’m sure and, because I didn’t let him he told Tommy I did! He broke us up and, guess what karma works because he lost everything anyways,” she finally lamented once her own fogged mind had begun to clear.

“Yeah I’m not talking about that,” Sara commented. “I’m referring to the night you spent together about three years ago….”

Felicity gulped, “How drunk was I when I mentioned that?”

She heard Sara grin through the phone, “Oh you were a goner but, honestly are you afraid of that night becoming public knowledge or what?”

Felicity grumbled, “Of course I am you ninny. We had sex, I admitted I was in love with him and, by the next morning he was already back together with Laurel! I’m sorry but for most people that would be a hard event to recover from!”

Sara’s drunken silence could only mean one thing….she’d already begun to veer down another path. She heard the loud, thrashing sounds of screaming words and jumbled breaths as Sara’s own labored breathing danced along her eardrums. Felicity waited patiently knowing she’d eventually deliver another slurred line of pointless dialogue. Felicity didn’t have to wait long…

“Well then what is it? You can’t possibly be worried about the voicemail he left the night he disappeared can you? I mean it was pointless,” she breathed unevenly into the phone.   

Felicity didn’t even bother to groan before moaning loudly, “Again as we now know Tommy was sleeping with Laurel so I don’t think some drunken message would mean much at this point.”

“Okay so then why aren’t you happy?” she finally asked. “Why aren’t you beaming from ear to ear with joy? I mean if you’re not worried about the lost night coming to light then what’s got you feeling so down?”  

Felicity felt her brow furrow over her knuckles, “Because…” she felt herself pause. If she told Sara about Moira’s suspicions she knew Sara would be downtown by 8am with flyers about government corruption.

“Umm Lissy? You still there” Sara uttered when her pause grew into seemingly endless minutes.

Felicity coughed, “Yeah sorry I was just saying I’m not happy because the idea of Tommy with Laurel still makes me feel a bit nauseated,” she lied hoping that her bloodhound of a best friend would let the subject die.

“Well that makes sense,” Sara agreed as the music around her grew louder. “Well you’re killing my buzz so I’ll see you sometime in the next week?” she asked as the beat began to make Felicity’s body buzz.

“Yeah I’ll cover with Maude,” she agreed before the line went dead. She chuckled at Sara’s lack of phone etiquette as she slowly lifted her weary head. The clock now read 3am, the rain outside was still hammering along the dingy glass, and her blank screen still seemed to taunt her endlessly. She huffed loudly, “Why can’t I just write the stupid fluff piece and move on with my life?”

Her small apartment building creaked, the shadows along her wall grew as she glanced around the small but still comfortable space. She wept with exhaustion, “Why did he have to mean something to me?” Her walls creaked but in the end no answer ever came. She dragged her fingers along her aching temples and closed her blurred eyes. Her glasses felt crooked over her slim features as she let out a deep sigh…”Why can’t I let it go….”

* * *

 

_10 years prior...._

_The class ended and, the bell chimed like a death rattle as the zombie like student body moved out from behind their small prisons and towards the cool air of the crowded hallway. Felicity usually was the odd student who didn’t clamor for the hallways, she instead yearned for the bell to simply remain silent while, her endless need for knowledge grew. A fellow student tapped her shoulder lifelessly. She shifted in her seat and glanced over her glasses at the red eyed soul. He grinned absurdly as he pressed the crumpled up paper into her waiting palm. He winked and, and giggled, “Have fun bookworm…”_

_Felicity eyed him cautiously then asked slowly as if she were speaking to a young child, “Are you currently on any illegal medications or were you just born strange?”_

_Curtis wiped his running nose with the back of his hand as he attempted to slide away from his desk. “Take your pick bookworm,” he muttered once he managed to maneuver his stomach away from the sharp edge of the desk._

_She rolled her crystal, baby blues and groaned while Oliver Queen’s little lap dog wandered off in anticipation of his next assignment. She glanced at the crumpled note before throwing it aside and leaving the now empty classroom._

_She’d barely managed to step through the door’s threshold before a strong pair of arms had her caged between the wall and his chiseled chest._

_Once the shock wore off and she realized who had her trapped, she managed to roll her usually soft eyes into a stern glare. At first she thought quietly she was dreaming. Yes she was dreaming that’s why her boyfriend’s brother had her trapped along the back of some dingy wall with his elbows by her ears. That’s why he was flashing her those stupid fuck me grins while she stood braced against the wall with a look of sarcasm and anger. Oliver was taller than her adorable dark haired boyfriend. He stood at 6’1 or 6’2 while Tommy was exactly 6’0. His towering height intimated her as he kept her caged between his two very well chiseled arms._

_“Did you get my note?” he asserted quietly once the halls had all but emptied out._

_Felicity’s glare grew, “Yes your lapdog delivered it,” she sneered as the space around them grew tense._

_“And?” he asked liked she’d actually read the mentioned note._

_She glared then asserted carefully while also dodging his question entirely, “You do realize that pulling someone into a corner and then trapping them is not acceptable behavior right?”_

_Oliver’s blue eyes would make a lesbian feel faint, “I told you I need a tutor and, well Tommy and Laurel being around would complicate matters,” he tried to explain with fumbled words._

_“You need a what?” she asserted with confusion dripping off  her clearly affected tone._

_He smiled at her honestly, “Didn’t read it did you?”_

_She slowly shook her head, “No…”_

_His eyes danced as he confessed, “As I told you in the note I’m failing Calculus and, I need a tutor…”_

_“So let me get this straight…” she balked while he leveled her with a shockingly sincere stare. “You the amazing Oliver Queen is asking for my help?” He inched closer and slowly began to place his hand over the sides of her face. Felicity let him knowing he had an angle._

_His cocky grin made her stomach burn, the twinkle in his endless blue eyes made her ire rise as he slowly trailed his fingers down the sides of her face. “Come on Felicity do it for Tommy....” he begged with his index finger resting along her jawbone. “The only way I’m going to college is with a scholarship and if I don’t get at least a C in Calculus then coach is going to kick me off the team.”_

_Felicity again balked, “You honestly think you could survive in college?”_

_His head fell almost on top of her forehead, his lips were close enough so they gently brushed the bridge of her nose when he spoke, “Are you going to help me or not?”_

_She shielded her chest by folding her arms. She felt small and exposed within the cage of his over muscled body. He smelled of cedar and linen while Tommy always smelled of vanilla and oddly enough lilac, his blue eyes made her body tingle while Tommy’s alway made her feel warm. She croaked nervously as his fingers trembled along her heated skin, “Aren’t you ashamed to be seen in public with someone like me?” she asked in order to defuse the odd tension between them._

_His forehead finally slightly touched hers, “Maybe but, who says anyone has to know.”_

_She inched further into the corner of the wall, “You aren’t suggesting the summer house are you?” she growled with the meekness of a caged mouse._

_He chuckled deeply, “Well yeah. It’s private and, best of all I won’t have to dodge cheating rumors so…”_

_She repeated, “So…”_

_“Are you going to help me?” he begged as their foreheads touched._

_She groaned in discomfort, “And it’s only until you can get a C right?”_

_He nodded along her skin as she shivered, “I can chose the days and times?” she demanded instead of asking._

_“Yes Felicity you can chose the dates and times,” he agreed comfortably._

_She huffed, “Fine but one last question.”_

_He chuckled lightly, “And that would be?”_

_“Why do you have me pressed against a wall with your forehead resting over mine?” she seethed in irritation._

_His lips brushed the tip of her nose in friendship, “Because we’re actually friends outside of this hell hole even though you won’t admit it…” he breathed as his arms fell slowly back down to his sides._

_“No we were before you got a girlfriend and I formed boobs. After that our friendship ended and this weird relationship was formed…” she corrected as she slipped along the wall and back towards the line of lockers._

_He reached for her elbow and pulled her back by a few steps. She let him still her movements as she swiftly turned her head. His soft lips and kind eyes made her heart pound awkwardly, “So can we start today?” he asked quietly._

_Felicity lowered her eyes and tilted her head, “You’re driving…” she offered as a response before she gently tugged her elbow away from his touch._

_“I’ll see you at three Felicity,” he agreed right as the bell for the end of period rang._

_She let out a quick, “Fine,” then darted down the still empty hall. She left him standing there with a baffled grin and surprisingly a shaken heart._

* * *

 

Present Day....

The memory passed as the news alert on her phone buzzed. She glanced at the flickering screen and swallowed an internal snarl.

-Tommy Queen to announce engagement to Laurel Lance where their storybook romance began…

Felicity snorted, “Yeah storybook my ass. She was screwing him while dating his brother…” She glared at the rest of the rubbish story before flicking her phone towards the edge of the desk. She again let her mind wander back to ten years prior when another relationship was beginning to bloom…

* * *

 

_Ten years prior…_

_The male ego was always something that fascinated her; even now as she sat in the passenger seat of Oliver’s brand new Porsche she wondered what made the male ego tick? She squirmed a bit in the seat while her mind continued to burn through endless scenarios. Her driver asked dryly, “Penny for your thoughts madam?”_

_Despite her usual feelings Felicity found the comment charming and, even a bit disarming. “I was just wondering what makes the male ego work,” she replied quickly before her brain could send out a signal flare telling her to shut the hell up._

_He coughed uncomfortably, “Well you don’t pull any punches do you?”_

_Felicity shrugged and shifted her eyes to the passing flora along the side of the mostly dirt road. “Well it baffles me. I mean Tommy has a BMW and you have this hot little number. He’s dating a nerd and you’re dating the future Prom Queen so it makes me wonder....”_

_“What’s he getting out of the deal?” Oliver guessed without hesitation._

_She glanced at him sheepishly, “Well yeah,” she admitted just as quietly. “He’s one of you and, I’m some poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks who what got lucky when some handsome boy looked her way?”_

_Olivers fingers flexed over the leather bound steering wheel. Felicity watched nervously while he carefully weighed his words. His jaw tensed each time he let out a small sigh. She knotted her fingers until they were blue while she watched his entire form tense, “Do you want honesty?” he finally asked with a timid edge to his muted tone._

_She carefully considered her options. Oliver wasn’t her enemy but, he also wasn’t a friend. Sure they’d been close as children what with her father being the head of his father’s IT department. They’d been playing together since they could all crawl but when the boys met Laurel all those years of shared friendship flew out the window. He became distant and almost cold once he’d won the girl with the hollow eyes and the striking profile. She’d soon moved on and eventually began growing closer to the heartbroken Tommy. Now as they shared the cab of this incredibly fast if not cramped car she silently pondered did he regret ruining the friendship they’d once shared. “I’ll take honesty,” she ventured carefully, “but only if you answer one personal question first.”_

_Oliver tapped his fingers along the rim of the steering wheel as the main drive finally came into view. Her bag fell over her feet when he took the curve too sharply, she grabbed at the center consul to steady her seated form while he muttered, “Sorry and sure whatcha got?”_

_She leaned back into her seat then breathed deeply, “Well was it Laurel?”_

_He shot her a confused look with those dreamy blue eyes, “Ummm Lissy I realize that as children I could read your mind but, umm those days are long gone so…”_

_She giggled despite herself, “Is Laurel the reason that we sorta hate eachother?” she explained with flushing skin._

_Oliver made the slight left and then curved again to the right, Felicity glanced out the windshield and, smiled brightly when a small group hummingbirds moved easily through the many trees along the property line. “She’s demanding, harsh and, at times impossible but, she’s also the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he started to explain as the peak of the home’s chimney came into view._

_Felicity nodded in resignation, “It’s okay Oliver you don’t have to explain…”_

_He let the car slow as his hand slipped off the steering wheel. Felicity nearly jumped when his fingers brushed over her knuckles. His words came out fast, confused and even a bit jumbled, “She’s beautiful Felicity but that’s all she is if that makes sense. She’s not funny, she hates my jokes, can’t stand my sister and, well…”_

_Felicity blushed, “She’s impossible but, because she’s beautiful you don’t care,” she finished for him as the car came to stop._

_Oliver shifted in his seat then placed both his hands over her joined hands. “Look I know what I am okay? I know that she’s the best I can do and I’ve accepted that.”_

_Felicity’s blush grew even redder, even his skin seemed redder when he used his words to push them away from what would be an honest conversation. “Look how about we call this what it is okay? I can’t tell you what Tommy see’s in you and it would be dishonest of me to try. I needed help and you were kind enough to offer it when I sorta cornered you in the hallway deal?”_

_Felicity mulled over his suggestion then glanced at the hummingbird family one more time. The way their colorful wings fluttered through the sky made her yearn for simplicity. “Agreed but, Oliver?”_

_His thumb skirted over her knuckles, “Yeah Lissy?”_

_“Only my friends call my Lissy, my students call me Felicity got it?”_

_He smiled ruefully then slowly withdrew his hands, “Okay Felicity…” he verbally agreed before shifting back into his seat._

_Felicity smiled when the engine revved. They might not be the best of friends but, at least now she knew they were she stood._

* * *

 

Present Day…

The memory ended when the sky roared angrily with loud claps of endless thunder. Felicity’s eyes flew upwards towards the top of the windows edge, the lightning split the sky, the rain cascaded downwards over the flickering streetlamps below. The way the rain fell sharply over the aging glass pushed Felicity back through her frazzled mind towards another memory that still to this day made her think she deserved more…

* * *

 

_Ten Years Prior…_

_The first month of tutoring went quickly. The first session was filled with tight smiles and on his part a lot of confused grunts. She suggested they approach this like a football game using terms he was used to using in his everyday life. Oliver agreed quickly and, noted with gruff edges that she seemed to understand how his mind worked. She’d given him a sly wink and called it woman’s intuition._

_The second month was much like the first. They met after school near the football field parking lot. She climbed in once she’d done a double take of the land around her. She searched for any prying eyes or any prying eyes with a digital lens attached to them. Once she was sure the shadows around her were simply trees she would open the door and climb in. The car was always cool but, not frigid like one would expect given Oliver’s outward demeanor. They exchanged the normal greetings; she would say hey how was your day? He would always reply fine and how was yours? They stuck to three main topics once the formal greetings were over. The first topic was always are you grasping the material? He would always grumble a bit before admitting he in fact was. She then moved towards the next topic which was almost identical to the first. She then would reach into her bag and pull out a small stapled packet, he would eye the papers while she quickly went over the lesson plan for the afternoon. Their last topic was always the veiled one, sometimes he would talk about Thea and, sometimes she would talk about her own family. The conversation would last mere seconds but it always made something in her spine tingle._

_Usually they studied in the actual study but, today for some odd reason Oliver had opted for the family room that was lined with about ten large windows. She’d insisted they have a proper table so he’d dragged the coffee table closer to the couch. She was on one end with her feet tapping over the ornate rug below their feet. He was on the other with his palms covering his bobbing knees. Felicity tapped the tip of her pencil along the first line of drawn out equations. “Now per our lesson last week what does this symbol stand for?” she began to instruct per their usual routine._

_Oliver grumbled but answered easily, “It’s the unknown variable and the equation is meant to annoy me since we covered that in our first lesson.”_

_Felicity winked at him slyly, “Just making sure you’re paying attention…”_

_“Or you’re just wondering if the dumb jock might be more than it seemed,” he joked with ease._

_Felicity twirled the pencil between her thumb and index finger slowly, she cocked her head and jabbed her chin toward the packet beneath his history book, “Not to extend this little arrangement of ours but I do have one small question…”_

_Oliver seemed to follow her twinkling blue eyes to the packet of notes beneath his world history book. He shrugged noncommittally, “The packets work…” he grumbled._

_She shook her head slowly, the edge of the eraser was placed along her jaw when she muttered lowly, “Why are you still surprising me?”_

_“Why are you still so easily surprised?” he volleyed quietly before she tapped her finger over the three equations near the bottom of the page._

_Clearing her throat and avoiding a true moment of emotional intimacy she almost rasped, “So ummm well what do these three equations mean?”_

_His furrowed brows made her spine straighten, his focused eyes made her stomach knot and her jaw clench. His fingers grazed over her soft pencil strokes, his tongue darted over his pursed lips, his arms were like coiled snakes that were ready to snap once their prey was in sight. She grazed her fingers over his knuckles and whispered gently, “Just remember what I told you the equations are meant to help you not hinder you.”_

_“Yeah easy for you to say,” he mumbled tightly when the answer continued to evade him._

_She leaned back into the frame of the aging black leather couch and rubbed her fingers over her upper arms. He continued to trace along her scribbles until his forehead finally fell to his knuckles in frustration. She remained silent knowing he’d eventually give her a reason to smile ruefully._

_Oliver finally after minutes of tortured silence threw the book with the packet towards the back wall with the force of an angered football player. She of course covered her curved lips with the back of her hand when the absurd thought flashed through her mind. Oliver’s slanted, angered eyes flew to her smiling eyes in annoyed amusement. “I just busted the drywall of some antique wall and you’re actually laughing at me?”_

_Felicity chuckled at his comment dryly, “Oh you breaking the drywall wasn’t funny.”_

_“Then what the hell was?” he grunted angrily._

_She debated for a moment. Toying with him while enjoyable also seemed a bit too close to flirting so she caved and murmured in the kindest tone possible, “I was just thinking that you threw the book like an angry football player.”_

_It was then that the weather outside began to shift… His twinkling eyes burned with humor while her’s shimmered with a moment of pure enjoyment. The shutters along the aging windows rattled like leaves as they fell off the trees in the dead of autumn. The thunder boomed all around the aging house, Felicity felt the tremor of the house’s walls rattling through her still ageless bones. Oliver’s soft voice seemed to float through the air as the lightning split the sky around them. “Do you wanna head back early?”_

_She glanced over his shoulder and surveyed the curtains of falling rain, “This place has a storm celler doesn’t it?” she decided to ask when the thunder rattled the foundation of the house once more._

_Oliver’s shoulders slumped inwardly as his chin dipped to his chest, “Yeah I think it’s actually in the other section,” he replied a bit too somberly._

_Felicity’s eyes shot to his defeated form, the rain changed to hail as the wind swept through the trees with violent intentions in mind. “Oliver is that the section that’s not connected to the main house?” she queried nervously._

_All he needed to do was peer upward for her to know the answer was yes. Felicity muttered a bit too timidly, “Well that’s hail and, if I’m right then we might need to seek shelter in a windowless room…”_

_Oliver groaned, “The coat closet is big enough for two…”_

_Her eyes darted directly to the floor, her fingers seemed to knot around her arms, “Yeah if we’re connected from head to freaking toe,” she managed to squeak between the rumbles of thunder._

_He agreed tightly, “I’m not thrilled either but, it’s either that or some interesting cuts if the glass all around us shatters.”_

_She shook with annoyance and, for once it wasn’t with him. She shot him a nervous glance just as he dared to shoot her one of his own. It was blue on blue, the both of them simply stared at eachother endlessly until their chest’s began to rise in sync. She babbled first when the glass began to splinter, “I’ll keep my back against your chest so our lips don’t you know accidently touch…”_

_He must have heard the glass cracking behind him because he suddenly rose while urging her backward with his outward arms, “Deal…” he managed to croak before the limb from a nearby tree came crashing through the already cracked glass._

_She was unprepared to be bull rushed like one would be on a football field; so when he came forward with his outstretched arms she sort of panicked and, accidentally jumped upward landing snuggly against his broad chest. His rough fingers brushed over the skin of her waist where her shirt had ridden up as he slowly enveloped her tingling body. She slowly raked her fingers over the nape of his neck as his hands began to glide over her curved hips. The skin around her belly button felt aroused she realized with shame as she slowly slid down his chiseled abdomen. She gulped roughly as her fingers drifted to his broad shoulders, “Ummm closet?”_

_Oliver swallowed roughly, “Hmmm yeah ummm right behind you…”_

_Felicity nodded while her fingers slipped down to his elbows. He kept his palms over her waist as he began to gently guide them backward. Felicity glanced at their feet, “One, two, three…” she began to mutter beneath her breath as the storm raged around them._

_“Felicity?”_

_Her body stilled, her throat clogged and her skin flushed when a small retched, Yeah?” passed through her shaking lips._

_His head tilted, his eyes blazed and his touch burned along her excited skin when he breathed, “If we go any further the doorknob will be lodged in your spine…”_

_“Ohhh,” she seemed to gurgle while he lifted his palms from her waist and reached for the brass knob. His chest brushed over hers once more, the soft flannel rubbed over her white cotton tee gracefully like a ballet dancer as his chin rubbed over her forehead. Felicity stammered, “You’re making me nervous…” when she finally heard the door click._

_“Same here,” he agreed almost too quickly._

_His chin brushed her forehead once more when he tilted his head downward, her heart thumped loudly within her rattled chest, her spine tingled and her palms were drenched as his lips brushed over her aching temple, “I think this storm is messing with our heads…” he rasped as his bottom lip edged softly over her skin._

_Felicity felt him pushing them backwards into the darkened room when she muttered roughly, “Yeah that’s completely possible…”_

_She felt the coldness of the darkened space enveloping them as he shielded her with his hardened form. She again traced her fingers along his upper arms until they were once more along his shoulders. He placed his palms along her waist and managed to kick the door shut with the back of his left heel. She stammered, “So the back to chest thing is out…”_

_He chuckled, “Yeah well I’d rather see your face if it’s all the same to you.”_

_She laughed uneasily as his lips brushed over her skin, “You do realize I’ll have to start liking you now right?”_

_His thumbs brushed over her waist in circular motions, “Somehow I think we’ll both survive,” he mused gently before the darkness not only stole their words but, also their claimed hearts._

* * *

 

Present Day…

She let the memory wash over slowly like the an all day, drenching rain. Her fingers tapped along the aging keyboard slowly. Her mind was muddled but her heart was clear. Slowly and, with great apprehension she began to tap out the first few lines of her article…


	3. Four Unstable Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity heads to the summer house to start her story; before she leaves she flashes back to 3 years ago when a conversation with Laurel changed everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

 

**Chapter Three: Four unstable walls...**

 

 

 

Alarm clocks were bad enough…

 The harsh, loud and, annoying clang, ding, or shrill ring was just another daunting reminder of the day that laid ahead. Felicity opened her bloodshot eyes, she scanned around the small desk with a shaky, tingling hand while the sharp ding continued to crow from the edge of the narrow space. The screen in front of her was dark, the rain outside had vanished but, the morning fog made the scene before her bleak. She slid her index finger over the damn switch so, the ringing stopped but, another annoying ring soon took it’s place.

 Her phone blared angrily beside her. Felicity’s tired eyes shifted to the lit ID. She swallowed a snarl when she used her free hand to slowly answer the call. “Hello…” she croaked with veiled aggravation.

 “Well good morning to you too sunshine,” came his delighted reply.

 Felicity quipped instantly, “Well Tommy not all of us are walking through the crowds of high society with a piece of silent arm candy now are we?”

 She could hear a small feminine cough echo through the otherwise silent background. She smirked without shame then said, “And yes Laurel I meant that last remark…”

 A soft, “Aren’t you witty at this early hour,” came through the small speaker mere seconds later.

 Felicity smiled almost gleefully, “Well some of us actually use our brains in our day to day lives. I recommend you give it the old college try!”

 She heard her cough lowly in annoyance but it was Tommy who replied, “Well before you two start sparring I did call you for a reason.”

 “Oh do tell,” she poked as she slowly began to stretch her cramped body upwards.

 He cleared this throat for the third time, her fingers were nearly touching as she brought them together over her hand. She leaned first to the left and, then to the right to stretch out her aching sides when she mumbled, “Oh you’ve talked to mommy dearest…”

 His heavy sigh made her grin. “I need the keys and she’s given you the only remaining copy since she decided to have the other’s destroyed after “he” disappeared.”

 “Well then I’d say we’re at an impasse since I won’t be giving them up until I’ve sent my finished story to Maude.” She closed her eyes and tilted her head back while she leaned into the hard, unyielding back of her solid oak desk chair.

 Tommy however was beginning to plead, “Felicity!!! We both know that will take weeks! Laurel and I need them in four days!”

 She lowered her arms and shrugged as if the phone had eyes. “Well then I suggest you get Robert’s stolen set when he fly's back in on his broomstick.”

 “You’re really not going to help me?” Tommy asked quietly.

 Felicity’s sleepy smile would have made Sara cackle with unbridled delight. “Nope,” she spat happily as she she reached forward and slid her thumb over the button to swiftly disconnect the call. All she heard before the room fell silent was a harsh…

 “See I told you she’s the same selfish brat that she’s always been!”

 Felicity let the phone slip down her shoulder and, into her lap while she mulled over Laurel’s parting words. “Selfish brat,” she muttered, “She thinks I’m still the same selfish brat,” she repeated to the air around her angry form. Her eyes flickered to the now black screen of a computer that was about five years too old. The face looking back at her was pale, her skin seemed duller if that was possible, her lips were a muted gray and, her hair was piled atop her head in a sloppy bun. What struck her most however wasn’t the way her lips looked as she scrunched her face into an array of emotions that ranged from angry to sullen. No what struck her were the empty eyes that seemed to mock her with endless questions. She tilted her head.  Her once bright eyes shifted until all she could see swimming within her endless blue depths was another morning where Laurel Lance’s words had left a sour taste at the back of her throat.

* * *

 

_3 Years Ago…_

_The air around her smelled sweet like freshly brewed coffee when it mixes with smell of rising cinnamon bread. She smiled absently as she rolled off her back and onto her taut stomach. She let out a strangled giggle when her soft nipples brushed gingerly over the soft cotton of the light blue sheets beneath her sated body. She nestled her face into the warmth of the pillow they’d shared, she let the smell of linen, wintergreen and something piney fill her waiting nostrils with pleasure that only a memory could provide. She rubbed her thighs together savoring the slight burn along her skin as, her mind provided the memory of how his tongue felt while it was pressed along her aroused clit. She felt the burn of desire flooding through her rapidly flowing blood until her body tingled with need from the tips of her toes to the ends of her disheveled hair._

_With her face buried within the used pillowcase her smile grew as the sunlight streamed over her slightly dewy cheek with careless abandon. Felicity brushed the back of her hand over her shut eyes in order to block out the offending rays of happy light. Her stomach growled making her grumble, “Well it looks booze and emotions are a terrible combo.” in hopes of hearing his gruff voice grumble back in happy reply._

_“Yes I happen to concur…” came the answer from the front of the room._

_Felicity’s body went still, her heart stopped and, her throat clogged as she dared to sneak a peak towards the room’s other resident. There she stood all fire and ice with her perfect lips forced into a stiff smile. Felicity’s fingers drifted towards the empty side of the bed. She searched in vain for his warmth while, the demon at the door glowered knowingly, “He ran out of here around 6:30 looking confused and awfully scared.”_

_Felicity gulped sadly, “Well that answers that question.”_

_“Yes but you haven’t asked the more important question,” she seemed to slither with what Felicity always imagined to be a forked tongue._

_She sighed but, went along with the verbal game, “Fine how did you find us?”_

_Laurel’s head fell back in what could only be described as happy triumph. “Oh sweetie I had his phone bugged years ago. I’ve known about your little meetings for months….” her eyes slid over Felicity’s still concealed form, “Yet somehow seeing what you two have been up to does leave one feeling a bit well lost for words…” she managed to scramble out while Felicity simply remained frozen with unspoken fear._

_Laurel tapped her black and, white pump over the aging hardwood floors confidently while Felicity’s eyes roamed along the lines of a dress that looked better on the mannequin then on her. “So,” she asked coyly like they were old college friends, “not that I don’t love playing catch up but, did you finally confess to being in love with him or, did you just finally give in and fuck him?”_

_Felicity’s face scrunched into a annoyed ball while she searched for the right words to use as armor given the situation. She settled for, “You’re awfully blunt for…” she realized suddenly she didn’t know the time so she peered at the clock on the small bedside table with blurred eyes until she could make out the red numbers. With meek confidence she finally rambled, “7:15 in the morning aren’t you?” The slithering blonde snake surveyed the room with her cold, lifeless eyes while she too searched for her next verbal weapon._

_Apparently the early hour made her even less clever than usual since she settled for, “Yes it does but, so does annoyance so if you wouldn’t mind I would like to get down to the business at hand.” She spat out the quietly worded declaration while she glanced at the thrown aside clothes near the back of the quaint room. This carefree attitude made Felicity’s stomach jump like a rattlesnake primed to attack it’s prey._

_In a vain attempt to maintain some sense of modesty Felicity kept her naked chest pressed to the soft but, still slightly hard mattress while the blanket remained placed along the skin of her lower back. She curled her arms to her sides and blurted out, “And what is that exactly?”_

_Laurel’s cold eyes rolled dramatically as she stepped slowly across the room. The door behind her appeared to be locked, Oliver was still nowhere to be found and, John wouldn’t dare come near this room so there she was stuck with Laurel and, nowhere to effectively hide. Laurel took her white gloved hand and, placed her white tipped finger along the dresser. Felicity swallowed a dark laugh when she pulled her lone digit across the dust covered surface. Her face wrinkled in disgust, “This my sweet Felicity is where you decide to break his heart and then your own.”_

_“What?” Felicity gaped as she fought to keep her trembling breasts hidden from view. Laurel smirked cautiously then continued her turn around the room._

_“Aww it’s playing coy…” Felicity’s brow furrowed but, Laurel was too busy gloating to notice. “It’s very simple Felicity I’ve come here to make a deal and, just like the one we made in highschool it’s going to remain strictly between us…”_

_Felicity immediately paled…”I won’t lie to him again,” she snarled instantly._

_Laurel grinned through her disgust, “Oh honey if it means your career you will…”_

_Felicity felt her back stiffen when she forgot her sense of modesty and reared upward with force._

_Laurel snickered, “Well I can see why he’s so taken with you…” once Felicity was standing before her naked from head to toe._

_Felicity quickly grabbed for the discarded blanket; Laurel’s eyes raked along her naked frame as she shrewdly cataloged every minor flaw. “I’m in love with him and he’s in love with me so whatever you’re playing at it won’t work…” Felicity growled while swallowing the silent, “Not this time…” as she effectively hid her vulnerability beneath the scratchy cotton blend._

_“So you were in love the last time too but, alas your affections were easily diverted with a scholarship to the school of your choice,” Laurel reminded her shrewdly._

_“I wasn’t in love Laurel I was confused and, you only offered me the money once Tommy had broken up with me.”_

_“True,” she sighed while Felicity wrapped her arms tightly around her chest. “But let’s be honest shall we?_

_Felicity’s face dropped as Laurel’s cruel smile grew. “I mean who could forget how you looked as you ran down the rain covered street after you received that sappy, handwritten note from who you thought was Oliver.” Felicity’s skin grew paler while Laurel’s words continued to swirl around her twisted heart. “You showed up with that cheap red rose and, the note crumbled in your precious little hand. I mean I was almost overcome with laughter but then I saw your precious smile and, let’s just say it made my reveal from the shadows that much sweeter.”_

_“I’m not leaving him again Laurel, I’m not giving him up for some worthless promise that you’ll never keep,” Felicity choked out as Laurel leaned steadily against the dresser._

_She crossed her arms over her small, almost skeletal chest and, glowered with glee, “Oh Felicity when will you realize that I’ll never let you have him? I separated you with the promise of a kiss when you where children, I tore you apart when I told Tommy about a tryst that never happened in highschool and…” Felicity’s body froze but Laurel continued with her cold mantra, “I drove you away from his loving arms with a scholarship and, now.” she finally took a victorious breath before she let her last cruel sentence fall. “As promised I’m going to threaten the very career I helped you achieve.”_

_Felicity felt a lone tear fall when she silently put the pieces of this rather tortured jigsaw puzzle together, “Your family bought the Starling Herald didn’t they?” she breathed in torment._

_Laurel smiled cruelly, “See Felicity I told you I’m here to make a deal so let’s say you put your clothes back on so we can discuss the terms shall we?”_

_Felicity’s head fell in defeat as her body fell back down to the rumpled bed, “Why Laurel? Why are you doing this?”_

_She pretended to consider the question which, Felicity hated before her clipped words fell forward like verbal sewage. “It’s simple really my dear, sweet Felicity. My family tends to make bad choices and, usually they’re bad monetary ones.”_

_Felicity nodded quietly before her lips could no longer be held together by sure will, “But why Laurel? Why? You don’t love him and I do! Why are you keeping us apart?”_

_She smiled for once almost kindly. Felicity felt her body freeze with dread when her voice dropped to the octave of a person she might have considered a friend. “I need his name and the money that goes with it.” Felicity shuddered as her lips parted but, Laurel’s lips were faster. “Making them both fall for me was easy but, he was never able to forgive himself for hurting you… He was always being drawn back to you so it left me a bit alarmed when he sought you out for help with that pathetic math class.”_

_“Yeah then he told me in was in love with me….” she whispered mostly to herself as Laurel’s heels clicked along the floor sternly._

_“Yeah and, that’s when I knew I had to remove you from the equation. As long as you were there he’d always yearn for you...he’d always pine for you. So I hatched the plan to lure you away with the scholarship money while also burning the bridge between you and, my backup plan Tommy. That way once Oliver realized he’d found his soulmate in you I’d at least be able to use the other lovelorn fool to keep the money my family so foolishly spent.”_

_Felicity choked on her anger fueled words, “So what you’re using them both?”_

_She nodded almost proudly, “Yes and, now that my family has gone and wasted more money on that pathetic rag you have the nerve to call a newspaper I’m even more determined to make myself a Queen.”_

_“But why Oliver? Why not just go through Tommy if they’re both so in love with you?” Felicity snapped coldly._

_She growled as if she too had already considered the same alternative. “The money, the company, hell everything really goes to the blood heir which the adopted Tommy is not. So my sweet it’s really not a choice it’s Oliver or the middle American lifestyle.”_

_Felicity sat there stunned while she silently connected the many tell tale dots. As children Laurel pushed her away with the promise of a simple kiss. In highschool once she found out about their growing affections she gave her the keys to her dreams if she promised to leave town. Now she was using the job she loved against the man she loved. Her heart shook like a thousand earthquakes as she realized her silent fate. If she fought she’d not only lose Oliver but she’d also lose everything she’d gained the first time she’d willingly walked away. Felicity without moving an inch let her quivering form speak perhaps louder than the words she’d chosen to say. “I’m not walking away again Laurel, I’m in love with him and, this time I know it’s not just some stupid one sided crush,” she declared with her heart slamming sharply along the muscles of her throat._

_Laurel’s head cocked to one side, “Are you suddenly forming a spine?”_

_Felicity nodded numbly, “Apparently I am because, as soon as you’re gone I’m headed back to town so I can accept the other job I was offered about two weeks ago when I heard your family might be buying the Herald.”_

_Laurel’s entire body went still before her back straightened into the profile of a sewing needle. “So you’re playing hardball I see?” she finally squeaked once her brain finally connected the dots._

_Felicity smiled sadly knowing that no matter her reply Laurel always had something up her devious sleeve. “I love him Laurel,” she shrugged in defeat. “I love him and, this time I’m not afraid of my feelings or what they might mean…” she finally declared as the air around them filled with unspoken tension and unrevealed plans._

* * *

 

 The memory washed over her like a thundering wave as she let the hollow void of the past three years enter her still broken heart. Laurel left the room seconds later with a scowl and tightly worded warning. Felicity got dressed, and scurried down the stairs towards the cab she’d called. John was in the kitchen whispering in hushed tones so she’d simply bypassed the formal goodbyes and, rushed towards  her one ticket back to town. She didn’t bother calling Oliver she figured he’d already told Laurel they were done. He might have run off that morning but, she knew her heart that his feelings for her were true. She’d marched into the newspaper that next morning with a mission. She was going to quit and, then she was going to find her knucklehead of a soulmate. She was going to tell him about everything from highschool to now, she was going to give him her entire heart until fate as usual decided to intervene. She had her hand on her editor’s door knob when the various radios and, televisions around her began crackling with what only Starling would consider as important news. Her fingers were curved over the steel handle when her heart thudded down to her feet. She could still hear the crackle of radio static between each joy, fueled word as the announcer happily snapped her heart in two.

 After hearing about Oliver and Laurel’s engagement Felicity herself sorta snapped. She quit her job with the Herald as planned and went across town to work for their smaller competitor. Sara out of solidarity and probably spite quit as well and joined her at the Starling Gazette. For the first six months she acted like a doormat with the personality to match. She barely ate, barely slept and, barely left the confines of her small, dungeon like office. Finally when she realized that the sun had indeed continued to rise each morning she decided she was done. She was done with Oliver and, she was done feeling broken over a man who’d slept with her and, then taken off in regret the next morning. She decided that his professions of love were merely a tactic to lure her into his bed; she’d decided he was out of her system until he left that frantic message on her answering machine the night he vanished.

 However as she glanced around the apartment she’d spent three wasted years in she realized as she always did whenever she became sentimental about Oliver that none of it mattered. She realized that he did love her despite all the signs that indicated otherwise. He’d called her for six months and, she’d never bothered to return one single call… He’d begged for her to talk to him but, she couldn’t. She couldn’t stomach knowing that in the end Laurel had found a way to twist the truth. She couldn’t stomach knowing that he’d come back, she couldn’t handle knowing he’d come back to find her gone…

 Knowing how this little trip down memory lane would end she shrugged off the moment of worthless dreaming. Her past was just that her past so she instead fixated on packing her overnight bag so she could drive to a place she’d carefully avoided for the past three years.

* * *

 

The fog created by the humidity of the night before still hugged every crevice of the bustingly city. Felicity again groaned but kept her thoughts trapped within her sleep deprived mind. When she’d finally placed her forehead over her bent knuckles it’d been around 5:30 so when her alarm went off at 8 she wasn’t exactly thrilled.

 She saw her exit was only three miles away, she glanced over shoulder before slowly edging her car into the right lane. The black SUV slowed allowing her to maneuver in between himself and the white sedan in front of her. She waved her small hand in gratitude before she placed it firmly back on the steering wheel. The driver’s face was obscured so she couldn’t tell if the he was indeed a he. She squinted but, soon gave up when another sign for her exit came into view. She settled back into her seat and lowered her hand to flip on the small recording device she had stored in her center console.

 “Today is day one of the four day trek to the scene of Oliver Queen’s disappearance. Per the files left by Sara Lance the house located off of Cliff Harbor road was the last place the subject was seen. Based on interviews from his closest friends and family Oliver Queen was suspected to have been killed on the property. Today I’m inspecting the actual home with the permission of his mother and the deeded owner Moira Queen. I suspect this will take roughly two days since the home has two separate structures. The property is located on 15 acres so day three and four will be spent exploring the estate. Per usual I’ll be taking verbal notes then transcribing them into written ones before the article goes to print.”

 She switched off the recorder just as she veered towards the dirt road that would lead her to the scene of perhaps a very grisly crime. The house was still about ten minutes out so she pressed the phone icon on her steering wheel and used her voice command to dial Sara.

 The phone rang twice before a very rough, “Yes Satan?” came drifting through her squeaky clean car speakers.

 “Awww and hello to you to my little ray of verbal sunshine!” Felicity chirped with irritating brightness.  

 She heard Sara’s mumbled, “Fucking bitch is gloating and, I don’t know why.”

 “I’m gloating because our favorite gruesome twosome called me this morning to get the summer house keys. Apparently Moira gave me the only remaining copy…” she laughed as she heard Sara’s bed springs squeak.

 “No!” she gasped happily. “They didn’t!” she continued in the same happy tone. 

 Felicity giggled as she turned onto another dirt road, “Oh yeah and, I said they’d have to ask Robert!”

 Sara snorted in approval, “Oh I’m so fucking proud!”

 “I knew you would be,” she laughed in instant reply. “Although I’m surprised he still knew my number to be honest,” she added as she passed the hummingbird tree.

 “Yeah how much you wanna bet he asked Moira after she said she gave them to you,” Sara suggested with a garbled voice.

 “You’re brushing your teeth aren’t you?” Felicity guessed when the line once again went silent.

 She heard her spit then mumble, “Yes but before you go do you think he might have called to test the waters?”

 Felicity nearly broke her neck when she slammed sharply on the brakes, “TEST THE WATERS! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?” she screamed as the ludicrous idea swam through her frantic brain.

 She heard the facet go off when Sara faintly replied from what sounded like her closet, “Well sweetie let’s not forget he did this once before after Oliver disappeared so…”

 “No there’s no so…. Sara Lance. He’s with the she devil that turned Oliver into a lying weasel. Tommy chose to betray his brother with her and frankly why the hell would I ever consider traveling down that rat infested hole after I spent so much time digging myself out?” she spat quickly once she started to drive again.

 Sara muttered, “Fine but I wouldn’t be surprised if he starts calling just to chat since he’s finally decided to marry my gold digger of a sister.”

 With her patented eye roll Felicity mumbled back, “Fine but, I’m almost to the house and four days of uninterrupted me time…”

 Sara cackled, “I’ll check on you in an hour.”

 “Thank you,” Felicity breathed before she swiftly ended the call. Sara was many things and, most of them left Felicity annoyed but, she was the only person she could ever count on. The house was almost in view, her fingers tightened over the gray leather of her steering wheel as she took one last steely breath. “Please don’t let me find a body,” she lowly prayed as her car crawled along the gravel driveway that led to the possibly haunted structure.

* * *

 

 The car wheels seemed to lumber over the sharp edges of the gravel that covered the winding drive. The tree that used to hold a ratty old swing still had roots that expanded outward toward the lower level of the wrap around deck. The lush green leaves obscured the lower and, apparently broken windows near the once beautifully ornate front door. Felicity pushed the car into park then pulled her recorder up to her mouth. She felt the cool, black outer cover brushing over her lips when she verbally cataloged the outer details of the structure. “Home appears abandoned which could be good or bad…” she mumbled slowly as the wind tousled the low lying branches of the massive oak tree. She lightly cracked her neck then continued, “The front windows are filled with shattered glass, the front door’s paint is chipped and might even have a thin layer of what appears to be mold.” She squinted but sadly knew she couldn’t determine whether it was mold until she was closer. She shifted her eyes upward to verbally capture the upper level’s decay. “The upper set of windows appears to be the same as the bottom. The upper panes are cracked but, the lower ones are completely gone with only what appears to be raised shards of broken glass.”

 She was about to switch the recorder off when something dark and almost creepy caught her roaming eye. She cocked her head then slowly recounted the observation to the recorder. “The outer white paint is gone, so the home looks gray all over; I saw what appears to be shadow moving along the windows in the upper left corner, I’m guessing it could be a stray cat or even the elongated shadow of a brave mouse.” Seeing nothing more she switched the recorder off and stowed it in her lower left, jacket pocket. She glanced over the crumbling structure and wondered aloud, “I wonder how they were going to rehab this place in a matter of days?”

 Her answer was a light breeze passing through the many overgrown trees. She shrugged in confusion but, remained focused on her goal. She grabbed her camera bag but, left her clothes bag in the back of the car. She checked the film before pushing the door open. The wind around her seemed to howl ominously, the feelings sent shivers of cold fear down her tingling spine. She shrugged off the nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach by planting her black booted feet firmly on the soft, muddy ground. The leafs crinkled and cracked beneath her heavy footfalls as she slowly lumbered toward the front door.

 “Well so far no dead Oliver Queen markers so I’d say that’s a good sign,” she cautiously muttered before she slipped the cover of her camera lens. She peered at the large screen to check the clarity of the image. She noted the house looked even worse up close. The once breathtaking front porch now was nothing more than warped boards and decaying pieces of nailed down wood. She stepped over the holes in the steps and snapped a few shots of the overgrown weeds that had taken up residence within the floorboards of the actual home. She frowned in dismay remembering how the house used to be a palace of gray stone and white painted wood. She squinted when a stray ray of sun flashed over the glass camera screen. To the naked eye there nothing but with a camera lens on 10x zoom there appeared to be something dark and, solid beyond the shattered glass of the front entry.

 Felicity placed the lens cover back on, she then adjusted the shoulder strap of the expensive piece of equipment until it was tucked away safely by her side. She grabbed a pair of vinyl gloves from her bag and slowly advanced forward. The warped wood beneath her feet seemed to ache with each careful step she took, the wind continued to howl making the humid summer air feel like a cool autumn day. She shivered and silently thanked herself for choosing a pair of jeans instead of the shorts she’d been eying earlier. The door knob made her heart ache. She smiled sadly because she could still hear the joy in Moira’s voice whenever she talked about these once flawless silver antique door knobs. Now they were varnished with years of wear and decay from the often turbulent elements. Her small fingers slipped over the black varnish, her heart thumped thunderously like a rapidly approaching storm as her wrist slowly curved. The anticipation was killing her but, the fear was doing so as well. Her body shuddered as the hinges creaked, her eyes scoured the darkened room carefully as she slowly stepped forward…

 Felicity pulled her recorder out once more and began describing the state of the once opulent grand foyer. “The glass appears to have been broken by something man-made if not by a man himself. The paint is covered with vines from the invading flora, the floorboards are discolored, and warped by the roots of the tree outside…” her voice died down when her eyes danced over the crystal chandelier. She sighed heavily against the nearly invisible microphone and cataloged the ruined scene before her. “The crystal chandelier is cracked, it’s hanging on by a narrow thread and the ceiling above the fixture is cracked as well.”

 She stepped along the mud laden area rugs and nearly wept when the once brightly colored ornate rugs turned to dust beneath her feet. “The rugs are damaged beyond repair, the furniture appears to have been tented but most of the pieces have been destroyed by the elements due to the shattered glass,” she lowly sputtered as her journey took her towards the two flanking staircases. Her eyes swam over the darkened, wooden rods; she was about to notate the state of the object when her phone buzzed gently along her hip. She reached for the phone while placing the recorder back in her pocket. Her lips curved instantly when she answered, “Hey Sarbear.”

 “So have you seen the body of the once handsome Queen heir?” she teased softly from an otherwise soundless room.

 Felicity smirked, “You’re whispering which means Maude caught you coming in late didn’t she?”

 Sara scowled by admitted quietly, “Yes…”

 Felicity stepped around the staircase with growing interest while gently mocking Sara’s plight, “Well she was bound to catch you coming in after noon eventually…”

 “Yeah, yeah you brown noser but, that’s not why I called…”

 Felicity’s mood lightened, “Oh you’re calling about the haunted estate only then?”

 Sara’s glare could be heard in her crisp voice, “Spill it Smoak what does the lair of the fornicators look like?”

 “Well…” Felicity breathed lowly, “The house is a wreck. The windows look like they’re were dismantled by about a thousand baseball bats, the floors are destroyed, the rugs are turning to dust, the paint’s peeling and the ceiling is barely a ceiling if you catch my drift,” she rambled while she continued to inspect the surprisingly well preserved staircase.

Sara’s grunt drew her attention away from the sturdy steps, “So how were they planning to rehab the heap in four days?”

 Felicity sighed, “I asked the same question when I drove up.”

 “So are you really going to stay up there?” Sara asked shortly after Felicity replied.

 She glanced around the room, “I’ll let you know once I’ve inspected the upstairs. If Oliver’s old room is still standing I can probably set up camp there but otherwise no I’ll head back into the neighboring town and stay at the bed and breakfast off Cedar St,” she mumbled as she placed one timid foot on the solid oak step.

 “Ummm Lissy my crazy, slightly insane friend you just said the ceiling wasn’t a ceiling…” Felicity could hear the pause in her breath before she shouted, “CEILINGS ARE THERE TO MAKE SURE YOU DON’T FALL THROUGH THE SECOND STORIES FLOORS!”

 Felicity held the phone away from her ear and shouted back, “I’M NOT STUPID I WAS ACCEPTED TO  HARVARD OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT!”

 Sara grumbled, “Touche…”

 “Thank you…” Felicity smirked as she slowly ventured upwards.

 “You’ll call me every hour?” Sara begged with worry at Felicity’s insane plan.

 “Yes worry wort, now get back to work before Maude docks both our pays,” Felicity ordered before the line went dead. She rolled her amused eyes and sighed to the drafty house, “And this is why she can’t maintain even one relationship.”

 The house seemed to creak with agreement as she neared the landing. Felicity’s eyes grew in shock when she noted that compared to the downstairs the upstairs was remarkably well preserved. She yanked the recorder out of her pocket and stowed her phone in her other pocket. She was about to switch the recorder on when a sharp thud made her heart jump.

 She mumbled to herself, “Oh don’t start...you don’t believe in ghosts!” The thudding grew louder as she stupidly stepped closer to the suspected source of the disturbance. Her heart raced, her blood pulsed, and her body shuddered as she carefully reached for her heavy camera. “Okay Felicity remember Sandra Bullock in “Miss. Congeniality”, remember SING and all will be fine…” she grunted with each stupid step she foolishly took.

 The floors beneath her creaked, the windows around her were unmarred, the walls were painted and the floors were sturdy. She crept towards the partially closed door, her fingers were shaking as she gently nudged the white oak door inward towards the hopefully empty room. She whispered nervously, “Is there anyone there?”

 Again she heard another thud followed by a low hissing creak of a slowly opening door. Her body froze as her voice grew into a rattled gasp, “Okay look I’m just here to survey the land for a story so if you’re a squatter don’t worry I won’t alert the authorities so you can come out okay?”

 A muffled howl of amusement echoed along the white painted walls. She noticed with vague interest that she’d wandered into what used to be Oliver’s old bedroom. The red tapestries on the walls looked clean, the windows weren’t cracked, the ledges were covered in dust but the rest of the space looked shockingly lived in… Her stomach gurgled as she licked her suddenly cracked lips, her fingers inched the camera forward as her arm began to rise, “Okay buddy I’m starved and I’m armed do don’t mess with me!” she groaned as she stole a line from the same movie that had taught the value of a self defense class.

 The bathroom door creaked, the muffled howl now rang like a clear, crystal bell as a small trail of steam billowed out from the once closed off space. Felicity mentally queried whether she’d heard running water. Her internal conversation was halted when her eyes swept over a small duffel bag next to a lonely nightstand and, a pair of two rumpled mattresses. She squeaked, “Ghosts don’t sleep in beds do they?” as the shadow of the amused figure loomed.

 Her camera was over her small head when the mysterious figure breathed, “I’m guessing your editor would kill you if that camera came back to her in pieces.”

 She nearly dropped the damn thing on her head when she whimpered in fear, “This is not happening…”

 She saw the outline of his rippling forearm as his veins slightly bulged around the thick cords of muscle and hidden bone. Her throat went dry when a pair of broad fingers curved over the lightly painted door, her body went slack when the strong, defined lines of his chiseled abdomen came into perfect view. She gulped audibly when small drops of water ran along the thick lines of well developed muscle and flesh. “Please tell me I’m dreaming…” she lightly panted when a familiar pair of blue eyes softened at the sight of her shell-shocked face.

 His once smooth jaw was littered with small wisps of untamed hair, his chin and upper lip had a thicker beard but, not enough to conceal  his boyish smile, or those unbelievably perfect lips. She gasped as her eyes ran along the line of his defined hips, she then gulped when the water began to collect along the border of the off white towel, “Damn you look good for a dead man…” she all but whimpered in complete shock.

 His soft gaze shifted into an amused look when he leaned along the door’s shockingly solid frame. She felt her body buzzing with anticipation when he finally said, “It’s been a long time Lissy…”

 She croaked uncontrollably, “Only my friends call me that…”

 He smirked, “And what am I?”

 She lowered her camera and, gently sighed, “I have no fucking idea…”


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity talk once she decides he's not just a nightmare gone wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter Four: Confessions**

 

 

 She stood there with her fingers slipping back and forth over the camera’s lens for what felt like hours. He remained posed like some Greek statue along the door frame of the bathroom door; while the leftover heat from the adjoining room gracefully highlighted the many rivets of his sculpted features. She gulped making his lips curve, her arms finally fell limply to her sides while he chuckled nervously, “That’s what you chose for self defense really?”

 Felicity babbled with a nervous sounding scowl over her full lips, “I, well...I...oh fuck it! What the hell? How? Why and, more importantly when did you come back from the fucking dead if that’s actually what this is!!!!”

 When his head shook droplets of water flew freely from the tips of his hair until they splattered down to the pale floors. Felicity’s ire waned when she heard him whisper, “I can’t believe how much I’ve missed you…” She kept quiet but something in her stomach jumped violently… whether it was positive or negative had yet to be determined.

 After she regained enough equilibrium to form a coherent sentence she suggested that he perhaps put on more than a fluffy white towel. She also remarked beneath her breath that for a dead man he looked incredibly hot for the second time in the span of five minutes. He of course appeared to have hearing like a bat and, rasped back almost inaudibly, “Well the years have been kind to you as well…”

 She brushed off the comment and, moved about the semi-lived in room while he occupied himself with finding something that resembled pants and she hoped a semi-clean shirt. Though if she were being honest if he somehow found himself without a shirt her entire day wouldn’t exactly be ruined.

 When he emerged smelling of soap and, cedar she’d managed to make herself somewhat at home on his stacked mattress bed that seriously made her wonder how he slept at all. She coughed uncomfortably when he threw his damp towel into the small laundry basket off to the other side of the room, “So ummm…”

 His brows rose in interest, “You’re not freaking out,” he noticed while she nervously gazed at the ground.

 “That’s because I’m still deluding myself into believing you’re a fucking mirage,” she quipped a bit too eagerly while her eyes caught the lines of his shadow moving along the rough floor.

 “Yeah but you’re not even yelling, you’re just…” he seemed to stumble over his thoughts so she took a shot in the dark.

 “Sitting here because frankly I don’t know what to feel?” she suggested with more mirth than question.

 Oliver groaned but, remained on task. “I’ve noticed you haven’t said my name…”

 “That’s because as I said I’m still pretending you’re dead and, I’m lying at the foot of the stairs in a coma,” she again seemed to quip while the tension of the moment began to steadily build.

 She couldn’t tell if he was leaning against the window sill or just simply standing but, she could hear a deep yearning for human contact in his strangled voice. “Is that why you refuse to even look at me?”

 “Nope,” she replied quickly. “I’m refusing to look at you because I’m ashamed to admit that I’m aroused by a figment of my imagination,” she finished as her cheeks turned bright red.

 She swore he stammered, “Aroused?”

 She however simply babbled, “This is a dream, this isn’t real, I’m lying on the ground unconscious with a bruise forming over my forehead. I’m not really here, I’m in a nightmare….”

 She swore she could feel the floorboards crack as his agile form eased over the soft wood of the aged surface. “So you’re not screaming at me in fury because…”

 “You’re not real yes.” she replied almost on instinct.

 His neck cracked when his head fell, “How long are you going to hold on to that delusion?” he questioned gently from his place on the other side of the room.

 She hiccuped, “Until the urge to either slap you or kiss you abates.”

 “I think I’d prefer the kissing option,” he quickly rapt.

 She snarled, “Yeah well I’d prefer the slap followed by your tongue down my throat option but, beggars can’t be choosers.”

 “Felicity!” he croaked in shock.

 She laughed lightly, “What you’re not real, I can admit that I had a crush on you in highschool and, I can accept that when you tried to kiss me back then I secretly wanted you to.”

 Her mind was fighting her theory because he seemed stunned when he rambled, “You were with Tommy! You nearly kicked my ass when I pecked your damn cheek!”

 She waved her hand through the air dismissively, “I only formed those feelings after the tutoring sessions. I was foolish enough to believe….” she stopped short of admitting that she thought he’d been honest when he admitted that he’d fallen in love with her. He of course caught her slip and, wasn’t going to let her off the hook quite that quickly.

 Her spine went frigid when his voice faltered, “You knew that I loved you and, yet you chose to run away?”

 She felt her body reacting nervously when she hiccuped in confusion, “My subconscious wouldn’t be able to conjure up that reaction…” Her entire form shuddered. He’d admitted it, he’d said the damn words...and now she’d have to face her new reality.

 His voice fell another octave, “Not if you never believed I did when I openly admitted it twice,” he suggested as her eyes remained lasered to the floor.

 “You do realize once I’ve recovered from the shock of this entire situation I’m going to kill you right?” she begged with questions instead of apologies.

 He mumbled, “Oh I’m sure you’ll leave welts…”

 She snickered, “It would serve you right…”

 He quietly agreed with a tight, “Hmmm”

 “So if you’re not the result of head trauma then I guess we should talk,” she rambled as the shadows before her remained frozen.  

 He smiled slightly but kept his words short, “Felicity I know you have questions.” 

 She breathed in audible relief, “Oh thank god you’re not playing the whole hey so how’s your life been since I died thing,” as her eyes flew upward toward the ceiling before they fell down to his kind eyes.

 His eyes drifted over the floor until they landed at her nervously tapping feet. She couldn’t help the way her lips curved shyly when his briefly met hers. His gentle, reassuring smile did something to her stomach that should be deemed illegal so, she lowered her gaze and, purposely kept her eyes pinned to the floor. “Felicity…” he seemed to beckon with a tender tone.

 Her knotted fingers froze over her knocking knees. “I have no idea where to even start,” she finally admitted sadly. “I have no idea how to express my varying feelings without coming off as an insensitive jerk,” she added when she began to chew at her bottom lip.

 “Well I’m the one who’s lied for two years,” he declared in order to diffuse the tension.

 She shrugged, “True but, I’m still working with the idea that you’re just a really messed up dream.”

 She heard his bare feet softly padding over towards her as the floor beneath them lightly squeaked. She shuddered but somehow remained frozen until his bare toes were in her line of sight. “Well let’s start with something simple so you’ll realize I’m not a mirage,” he suggested calmly while she kept her nervously fluttering eyes on his softly tapping toes.

 “Okay,” she agreed with a loud gulp.

 His light smile was evident in his soft tone, “Can I sit beside you?” he suggested as a way to break more than one form of ice.

 She nodded dumbly then tossed her head to the side before muttering, “It’s a free country and, you’re not really here so that should provide proof.”

 She felt her body rise then fall as his weight displaced her own for a few brief moments while the sagging mattress adjusted to two bodies instead of her one small one. Her eyes drifted over his pale, denim jeans. His long legs were still like two pieces of endless stone while her’s were tapping along like the roadrunner in a cartoon. She felt a jolt of energy racing through her body when he very gently bumped her shoulder with his. “Did I always make you this uncomfortable?” he wondered when her body refused to settle.

 Her eyes raced over his tapping fingers until she was able to memorize the colors in his faded plaid, button up shirt. “No, you did something far worse,” she gulped when her brain didn’t stop her heart from talking first.

 His groaned, “Oh,” making something in her heart rupture.

 She sighed in what felt like confused remorse, “It’s not like that Oliver.”

 He bumped her shoulder once more. This time she bumped his back, “We can table that discussion if  you’d like?” he recommended when the tension between them felt suffocating.

 “I’d appreciate that,” she grumbled in gratitude.

 He sighed in muted acceptance then mumbled, “So…”

 She echoed the sentiment, “So….”

 “Still think I’m a figment?”

 Felicity sighed, “No… sadly my imagination couldn’t compete with this…”

 The air around them felt thick, the mattress was forcing their nervous bodies together because the lump in the middle was becoming even more apparent. Her eyes were still trained on her knees while his fingers brushed over the hard shells of his bones. His eyes seemed to be trained on her knotted fingers. Neither were willing to meet the other’s gaze and, neither wanted to be the first to speak. Their shoulders brushed as the mattress forced them closer. The steam from the bathroom had dissipated, the air around them smelled fresh instead of stale and, the light from the afternoon sun made the room seem lighter than just mere moments before. She mumbled weakly, “Are we really going to pretend that we’re both okay with this?”

 His shoulder brushed hers when he breathed, “No but, I can’t ignore what brought you here.”

 She mumbled in agreement, “I can’t ignore that you let your friends and family think you were dead.”

 “It’s complicated,” he shuddered.

 She nodded without understanding, “Then explain it,” she urged gently. “Tell me how pretending to be dead was your only option!” she nearly yelled when his chest swelled with trapped air.

 “Finally,” he sighed in relief when her temper began to flare.

 She jerked upward like a rattlesnake and, moved to rest along the abandoned window sill. He remained on the bed with his fingers folded in his lap. She still wasn’t ready to look at him, hell she was barely ready to admit he was real. She kept her frozen blue depths focused on his knotted fingers while she let her emotions out for a long overdue walk. “You worthless son of bitch…” she saw his fingers begin to shake. Her own body was shuddering as her fingers clamped down over the marble window sill. “You abandoned everybody you claimed to love, you let them grieve you, you left them broken and alone while you hid like a coward in this godforsaken shack!”

 She saw his body shaking nervously when he muttered, “Please don’t stop,” as she slowly began pacing over a small space of bleached out flooring.

 “You’re pathetic! You know I can forgive you for destroying my life but, I’ll never be able to comprehend how you could so easily destroy both your mother and Thea.”

 His shoulders fell even further towards the ground while he listened to her rant angrily. She heard him choke over his words when his lips moved gingerly, “I wondered when you’d bring our relationship into this…”  

 She took a staggered breath as she sighed, “You pathetic waste of a human being…”

 He chimed in once she seemed to be calming down, “Feel better?”

 Her fingers seemed to quake behind her back as she mumbled, “No…”

 She swore his chin fell to his chest when he murmured, “If it makes a difference I didn’t chose this, I didn’t chose to leave my family.”

 She scowled, “Then why the hell did you?”

 “Because my father and even Tommy tried to kill me over some stupid equations in the margin of a book,” he sighed emotionlessly as her body went cold.

 “Wait a minute,” she gawked, “they both tried to kill you?” she breathed as her eyes finally began trailing along the sculpted chest that was hidden beneath the soft plaid fabric of his shirt.

 His body seemed to shrug when his words tumbled outward, “You do remember my phone call right?”

 She let her eyes fall to his navel before her tight lips let out a small, “Yeah why?” 

 Something in her tone left him amused because his body shook with humor when he gently replied, “Well I found some equations in the margins of my father’s mayoral files. I called you because I couldn’t decipher their meaning. When you didn’t answer I flew up here to the Summer House to speak with Laurel and Tommy.” Felicity felt her head bobbing back and forth almost on impulse while his raspy voice continued to weave it’s way through her heart and, brain. “ and that’s when I saw them together and, well yeah…” He lowly moaned signaling his confession was at an end.  

 “That must have been hard,” she prattled before her thoughts took a 180 and, focused back in on the first part of his story. “Wait what?” Felicity nearly choked. 

 His eyes snapped to hers. She froze along the surface of the heated window pane and, let her body shudder with the strangeness of pity while he nervously continued, “Yeah I found something that troubled even me and, well Laurel and Tommy are hardly surprising when you take into account that I’ve been in love with someone else for nearly ten years.”

 “So you called me for help on the equations and…” she took a beat. He’d done it again. He’d told her he was still in love with her but, her heart wasn’t so easily mended. She let her voice fall until even a pin would seem loud in comparison. “let’s not pretend that seeing that sort of betrayal didn’t crush you on some level okay?” She let his comment drop. She wasn’t ready and, frankly neither was he. She finally begged silently for understanding with a quivering lip while his blue eyes traveled down to the depths of her soul.

 Oliver’s eyes grew cold when he finally understood, she wasn’t ready for that confession but, she was ready for his truth. His voice seemed to tremble over years of buried emotions when his raspy voice filled the otherwise silent room.  “Seeing them should have crushed me you’re right…” His admission made something in her spine tingle but, his omission made her curious. Why was he avoiding her first question she silently pondered while she allowed herself to be led down the other path.  

 Her blue anger rimmed, eyes softened when she asked, “Why didn’t it crush you?” while she left his other truth untouched verbally.

 His gaze suddenly was like fire when he whispered gently, “Let’s just say I knew she wasn’t the woman I wanted.”

 Felicity was stumped. He’d done it again. He’d gone and hinted at their past by saying something she couldn’t just push away with various words and, messed up inner thoughts. Her stomach was a swirl of endless knots as she bypassed the swirling tornado within her and, opted to continue with his previous confession. “So you saw them together?” she coughed uncomfortably.

 He smiled at her slight stammer. She shook off the look until his rich voice began to vibrate through her bones. “I ran back into the humid night. Tommy called out for me but I was already too far to be reasoned with. I went running through the trees at the back of the property, the low lying branches bit at my skin as I raced towards the secondary house.”

 Felicity nodded recalling how shaken Tommy was when the first reports came out. “Yeah Tommy said you ran but, no one was sure of the direction.”

 His body language seemed to tighten. Felicity took in the way his shoulders slumped before his bright eyes grew clouded with muddled emotions. “Well he would know he chased me,” he seemed to grunt.

 Felicity nodded silently at first but then she couldn’t keep her curious mind from asking all the other unanswered questions. “Okay so ummm anyways let’s circle away from the love triangle from hell and, focus on the books with the odd codes,”  she finally declared once her heart removed itself from her throat.

 Oliver relented a bit too quickly and, went along with her request. “At first I thought the books were just filled with accounting errors so I wanted the original ones to verify the logs.” Felicity could feel her eyes rolling as he slowly lumbered toward the point of his tale. He even gave her a dopey, half smile when he uttered, “I remembered the originals were at the Summer House because that’s where my dad kept all his back-up files.” Felicity wanted to scream “get to the fucking point” but, she held back when he breathed, “I never thought they’d both plot my demise while I hid near the secondary house…”

 Her lips dropped a bit while his fingers tapped along the sides of his bent knees. “Hold up for just damn minute…” she felt her fingers dancing along her temples while her brain fought to catch up with her conflicted heart. “They both plotted your death?” Her body seemed to freeze when her heart broke through it’s concrete wall, “Like who would do what and, where or even God forbid how?” Felicity finally gasped in disbelief.

 “No that’s just part of the problem,” Oliver tried to explain. “Robert was there to plot not just my demise but, also what came next. What made things worse was the person holding the gun had just been in bed with Laurel moments before…” 

 Felicity’s heart plummeted, “Oliver that just doesn’t make sense…” she begged as her mind reeled. “Tommy adored you, hell he was heartbroken....” she mused while Oliver’s head shook in evident dismay.

 Oliver’s lips fell into a painfully thin line, “Did they ever actually verify my death?” he asked knowingly. “Did they search for longer than say two weeks?” he added while her heart raced.

 The timeline matched, the players made sense and all the sudden it dawned on her like the sun as it rises toward the top of some snowy mountain. “Tommy called me three weeks after you disappeared…” she mumbled. “He called to catch up…” she swallowed as Oliver’s head once again fell.

 “He was trying to clean up his mess. He knew I would need help deciphering those codes.”

 Felicity muttered gravely, “He knew how you felt about me because of what happened in highschool.”

 Oliver sighed, “He knew I’d reach out if I suspected foul play.”

 She felt her body slowly slinking to the floor. Oliver’s eyes followed her slumping form while her eyes fell into a confused haze of fact and half truths. “Moira said Robert was trying to decide who lived and died…”

 Oliver nodded slowly in complete agreement to her first fact. “The codes were equations Felicity. He has a blueprint of the city back at his office. Based on my findings he’s using money funneled from various investors to buy out the large sections of the underdeveloped land around the larger city centers.”

 She stammered as she drew her knees to her chest, “Tommy became deputy mayor after you vanished. Weeks later he took over QC and, began dividing the city into even smaller subsections…”

 “They’re doing it to make the culling of the masses easier for when they finish the final equation,” Oliver muttered with clasped hands.

Felicity breathed, “Oliver what are they planning to do?”

 He gazed at her scared eyes before his trembling lips moved. She soaked up the honesty of the moment before the crushing truth destroyed her soul. “They’re using the money from the various investors to wipe out certain sections of the population.”

 Felicity gasped, “They’re going to what relocate them?” She watched his brows knit in sorrow while she silently realized what it felt like when your soul died.

 He sighed tiredly, “No Lissy they’re going to use a mathematical equation to determine who to kill and, then how.”

 “How do you know that?” she queried with fear racing through her veins.

 “Because for the past two years I’ve been posing as an overseas investor to gain access to the equations and, then the labs where they’ll make a series of airborne viruses that are genetically linked to the people in those underdeveloped areas,” he finally admitted as her mind raced.

 “You said you posed?”

 He nodded empathetically as she fought to link all the pieces together. “I used my middle name as my last name and, created a first name from another person’s middle name,” he admitted almost shyly.

 She watched the tops of his ears turn red so she mused awkwardly, “What name did you use and whose middle name inspired you?”

 Oliver chuckled nervously, “I went with Kegan Jones…”

 Felicity’s suddenly red lips fell into a perfectly shaped oh...Oliver’s head fell, “I thought Jonas might be too obvious so I went with Jones and well I’m hoping you’ve made the other connection…” he rambled while she sat there feeling very disjointed within her own muddled thoughts.

 “Kegan…” she whispered, “It’s basically Megan without the M…” she murmured quietly while he sat before her with wrecked nerves.

 “Yeah so ummm anyways I used the book I had to find one of their investors in China,” he began to explain while she let his words sink into her very weary bones. “Thankfully since I was unaware of this aspect of the company none of them were aware of my existence…”

 Felicity’s reporter’s brain clicked back to on when he admitted his last fact. “Wait...Robert kept you a secret?”

 “Yeah me and Thea but…”

 She’d made the connection before he could whisper his name… “Tommy, they know about Tommy because of…”

 “Malcolm,” he interrupted. “This was Malcolm’s original idea and, I suspect it’s what really got him killed,” Oliver concluded before her lips could form another oh.

 Felicity’s mind was racing, “Robert had Malcolm killed to gain control of the Glades?” she began stuttering before her questions led to the more complicated ones. “He then adopted his son for reasons that are still unclear but, kept his own children a secret while he plotted to destroy more than half the city?”

 “Essentially yes but,”

“But what?” Felicity croaked. “What else aren’t you telling me?” she breathed uncomfortably.

 Oliver’s gruff voice dropped, “That my investigation is stalled…”

Felicity's heart froze. Feeling drained she whispered gently, “Why did you call me two years ago?” fearing the words she knew would soon be floating in the space between them.

 He simply replied, “Because I needed you to stop them.”

 “Why are you confiding in me now?” she asserted with her body shaking all around her.

 His shallow voice hung between them as he bravely declared, “Because I still need you to stop them.”


	5. Questions and Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to hear more about Oliver's past while Felicity continues to fight her feelings in a very amusing way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter 5: Questions and Answers**

 

 

They were still on opposite ends of the room. His palms were lying over his face, her eyes were tired and drawn, her slim form was hunched over as the small of her back rested against the window sill. “You realize after that declaration I now have even more questions right?” she asked quietly while the room around them grew dark.

His throaty voice made her skin prickle, “Yes and I’ll do what I can to answer them.” 

She swallowed thickly for about the tenth time in the past five minutes. Oliver fidgeted before her but remained seated; giving her the space she needed to compose herself. “So Tommy’s apart of the plan?” she finally breathed sadly.

Oliver nodded just as somberly, “He’s been apart of the plan since college based on the files from the investors.”

“And Laurel how does she play into this?”

Felicity saw Oliver’s eyes twitch with disgust. She buried the part of her that felt joy at that silent emotion and, remained fixated on the task at hand. “She’s…” his voice petered out briefly while he tried to gauge how he wanted to answer the question. She let him fumble through his mind until the right words fell across his tongue. “Laurel as you probably know only went after me because of my family money,” he grumbled almost unhappily.

Felicity recalling the memory she’d just relieved that morning nodded timidly, “Umm yeah I do believe that was made clear to me at some point.”

Oliver’s electric smile still made her stomach jump and wildly churn. He sighed tiredly then continued to weave his tale. “Anyways after what happened or didn’t happen between us in highschool I swiftly ended things and tried to move on.” Again Felicity nodded as he continued to speak. “That’s when she sunk her hooks into Tommy…” Felicity’s brows rose at that one. He caught the facial shift and, asked her almost gently, “Did you really think that she chose him out of love alone?”

Felicity frowned when she realized that she and Laurel had something in common; they both settled for Tommy when they couldn’t have the man they wanted; at least that’s what she was beginning to think. Oliver watched her face carefully and, quickly corrected her wayward thought. “Lissy you genuinely loved Tommy when I fell for you.”

She couldn’t help the words that passed through her troubled lips, “Yeah I did love him but, I was never in love with him like I should have been.”

“Either way,” he jumped in almost instantly, “they began dating and, by the time I graduated and, came home they had entered into some twisted partnership with my father.”

She licked her dry lips while he let her contemplate her next words. “But that doesn’t answer my original question,” she finally breathed. “How much does she know and, can she really be that cold?”

“That’s the problem I honestly don’t know. I don’t know what she does or doesn’t know or even how far into this she really is…” he uttered before his eyes fell to the floor with regret. “That’s one aspect where I could really use your help,” he admitted almost shyly.

Felicity swallowed her rising bile, “Okay...but, I mean do you have access to anything like the QC server’s?” she managed to spit out once her stomach contents were safely below her larynx.

Oliver winced at his own words, “Yes but, it’s sporadic…”

“Okay,” she seemed to weeze with annoyance. “So you have some access to the servers which is helpful but….” she let the sentence hang between them like a dead weight hoping he’d give her a bit more to work with then just endless words.

Again something inside her spiked violently when he caught her verbal double meanings and, jumped back with, “I have two years worth of information back at my home in China.”

Felicity’s jaw simply dropped, “China?” she croaked in complete shock.

“Yeah Lissy if you agree to help me we’ll be spending some time in China.”

Her chin fell to her chest, “Okay so that explains how Robert can check this place every few weeks…” she breathed in an odd sense of relief.

“I’m not usually here when I’m in the states. Usually I’m with John but, he’s not in town so I decided to say here since my father’s….”

Now it was Felicity’s turn to jump, “Since he’s in China…”

Oliver’s eyes twinkled almost sweetly at how she managed to connect the dots so seamlessly. “Yeah LIssy if he’s there then I’m here and so on and, so forth.”

She saw his smile when she dared to sneak a quick peek at his handsome face but something in those twinkling damn eyes told her his story was far from over. She poked at him a bit more hoping the time spent away from humanity as a whole hadn’t destroyed the boy who once made her feel at ease. “Oliver what else aren’t you telling me?”

His eyes shifted, his chest seemed to empty and his body seemed to flutter into a state complete exhaustion. She watched with envy at the release that he seemed to find even during a stressful situation. “What the home in China didn’t give you enough information?” he tried to mildly joke. 

Felicity just gave him a resigned sigh, “Oliver come on just tell me the story so I can decide if I should help you or not.”

He nodded carefully before his own resigned voice filled the air. “I’ll tell you my story Felicity but, first I want something very small in return,” he poised carefully with tight lips and a mournful sigh.

“And that would be?” Felicity almost squeaked in a tenor of fear.

His smile was one of kindness when his eyes sparkled in genuine empathy, “Be open?” he finally asked while she simply gave him a tight nod. He watched her moving head carefully and ginned sadly as he parted his lips and took one more almost hollow sounding breath….

* * *

 

_2 Years Ago…_

_The windows were fogged, the sun was long gone and, his head felt heavy with mournful thoughts of regret and despair. He held the manila file with quivering fingers and, a lump in his throat. His red rimmed eyes flitted over the confusing figures once more, the numbers seemed to swim like a trout does as it journeys downstream. He let the file fall as his fingers flew to his suddenly constricted throat. He mumbled beneath his shocked breaths, “This can’t be right…”_

_The wind blew through the towering buildings with anger, the sound rattled the windowpanes and, even seemed to travel through the floors until the vibrations reached his feet. His fingers fell to the phone, his mind seemed to be dialing while his body simply followed along blindly. He pressed the speakerphone icon and, waited with bated breath for the sound of a reassuring voice. The minutes passed slowly, the wind continued to howl, his heart continued to thud as it rushed toward the rattled floor. A loud beep followed by a soft melodic voice pushed his mind forward as his lips slowly began to move. “Hi...ummm wow I can’t believe I’m actually calling you…” He took a staggered breath, “Look ummm this is Oliver Queen and I just found some odd equations that shouldn’t be where they are.” He nearly mumbled his last thought, “I need your help to decipher them and, I suspect I’ll need your help to expose the meaning behind them as well. Please, please call me back at the office as soon as you get this message….”_

_The machine beeped before he remembered to leave his private office number.  He nearly choked out, “Well that should end well…” before his other regrets could reach the surface._

_The windows rattled once more, his teeth chattered and, his body ached as he pushed the file into his briefcase. He heard the ping of the elevator just beyond his closed office door, he scurried to the back door in hopes of avoiding the owner of the size 12 loafers that he heard padding down the narrow halls. His shoes skidded over the cold tiles as he managed to slip through the double doors and down toward the stairs near the service elevator._

_Ten minutes later he was pulling out onto the busy city streets and gliding through the late evening traffic. His seemingly designer car slipped through the throngs of moving vehicles with practiced ease. His stomach felt empty, his body felt cold and, his head seemed to throb as he moved towards the freeway and, he hoped into two pairs of helping hands._

_The drive to the summer house was always short but, tonight for some reason the 20 minute trek felt like a four hour journey. The dirt roads seemed bumpier, the night even seemed darker as he pulled up to the massive home’s grand, wrap around porch. He frowned then noted to himself, “I see their cars but, why don’t I see any signs of life?”_

_He grabbed his briefcase and, lumbered to the front door yelling their names as he took the front steps two by two. “Tommy! Laurel! I really need to show you both what I discovered at work today!”_

_He expected to be greeted with simple shouts of innocent greetings but, all he met when he pushed through the unlocked door was darkness and, loud screams of unbridled passion. He froze in the empty foyer, his heart thudding loudly while his blood scream through his ears. He muttered, “It can’t be…” as his legs carried him towards the shadow laden stairs. He growled when a female screamed, “YES BABY! YES!”_

_He glowered when a very gruff voice hollered  back, “COME ON BABY, COME FOR ME!” His feet seemed to stumble over a loose floor board when he finally reached the landing, his fingers slipped along the banister as he slowly stepped toward his cracked bedroom door. He gulped and, continued his trek toward the screams of someone he loved and someone he felt trapped by._

_Candlelight flooded the the floors as he gingerly pushed his fingertips along the already cracked door. The soft wood seemed to burn his tender flesh as he slowly stepped forward. Their voices floated through him like water running down a creek, “How much time do we have before he gets here?” she asked as Oliver saw Tommy’s upper back floating over her caged in shoulders._

_Oliver heard his mumbled words through the soft kisses he kept pressing to her smiling lips, “I’d wager another hour if Robert was successful…”_

_Oliver froze when Laurel replied, “So he’s going to clue him in?”_

_Tommy pressed his lazy lips to her nose, “Of course not. We’ll need a scapegoat and the golden boy will bring in the most press…”_

_Oliver’s heart froze then shattered with anger not pain when Laurel breathed, “How much longer do I have to pretend he’s the person I want?”_

_Oliver couldn’t see his grin but he certainly could hear it, “Just until the first wave...after that we’ll be together…” he mumbled as Oliver’s phone buzzed dangerously in his coat pocket. He didn’t bother to check the ID he simply ran... had he’d been moving slower he would have heard Tommy’s body lumbering off Laurel’s as he called out for his adoptive brother._

_Oliver shot down the stairs quickly. He ran through the swinging doors and into the humid summer night. The full branches tore at his skin and clothing, his eyes fluttered each time another leaf clouded his obscured vision. He was nearly to the secondary structure when Tommy’s shrill scream shattered the humid night air… “Dammit Oliver! Let me explain!”_

_Just as his fingers fell over the aged doorknob a set of car lights illuminated the path before him. He froze along the dirt path and held his trapped breath. He heard Tommy’s foot falls thrashing about the nature laden ground. Robert’s voice came crashing through the trees as the lights from his car died. “Did you stop him?” came his father’s panicked voice._

_“What do you think? Look at me?” Tommy argued sarcastically with most of himself still exposed._

_Oliver tried to push himself behind two nearby trees while the two men argued in the clearing before him. “I told you screwing that whore was a mistake and now he’s seen you!”_

_Oliver heard Tommy’s audible gulp in annoyance, “She’s not a whore…”_

_“She is if she’s sleeping with you and him at the same time son,” Robert lamented coldly._

_Oliver’s throat thickened as the sweat from his brow began to trickle down face. “It's no different then what he does and, she doesn’t screw him. He can barely touch her without cringing,” Tommy countered._

_“Meaning?” Robert asserted oddly._

_“He’s been in love with another woman for almost eight years!” Tommy fumed as the time continued to trickle past their screaming voices._

_Oliver blanched but, remained hidden as the two continued to argue. “Regardless he’s seen the files and, regardless of his test scores he’s not stupid. He’ll figure out what we’re planning to do and, we both know he’ll reach out to the woman he loves at some point….”_

_“What so I’ll kill him and try to trick my ex-girlfriend into betraying the man she loves?” Tommy breathed thickly as the fog around them began to grow._

_Robert mused, “She loves him does she?”_

_Oliver didn’t miss the hitch in Tommy’s voice when he stammered, “She denied it but, yeah she fell for him during our senior year.”_

_Oliver’s blood was beginning to boil. Coming after him was one thing but hurting her was out of the question. He reacted perhaps foolishly but, reacted he did. He cried out in anger, “YOU FUCKING TOUCH HER AND, I’LL BE THE ONE HOLDING A GUN TO YOUR FUCKING HEART!”_

_Both men’s fingers flew to their sides. Oliver watched their shadows move slowly through the overgrown weeds along the edge of the property line as he creeped towards the path that led to the nearby village. Robert veered to the pathway of the secondary home, Tommy headed toward the village. Oliver crept along the edges of the path slowly, both men kept to the man made pathways and whispered eagerly, “I can hear him…”_

_Oliver dodged behind numerous trees to hide his growing shadow but, alas it was to no avail. Tommy’s labored breathing grew harsher when he snarled, “I can hear you brother… hell I can smell your damn sweat…”_

_Oliver mumbled when the safety of his handgun was slipped off, “You’re really a heartless bastard aren’t you?”_

_Tommy snickered, “Takes one to know one…”_

_Oliver agreed silently before ducking behind a nearby shrub. Tommy’s shadow loomed so he shrunk down until his knees were hidden in almost an inch of mud. Tommy baited him again, “I’ll kill her Oliver, I’ll seduce her and then snap her pretty little neck…”_

_Oliver’s heart raced but, he knew tact his brother had chosen. He kept quiet as he slowly slid down along the line of the bushes. He kept a watchful eye on his brother’s gun while continuing to make his silent escape. Tommy’s feet crept over the dirt ground, Robert’s voice echoed through the night, “She’ll die son...she’ll die and you’ll be the only one to blame when her blood is dripping down her pale skin…” as Oliver finally managed to crawl his way to safety…_

* * *

 

Present Day…  
Felicity gawked, “I’m going to kill him…”

Oliver seemed amused by her words so she begged to know why. “You find me funny do you?”

He shrugged, “You don’t seem shocked that they thought we were in love.”

She averted her gaze toward the floor. “I’m avoiding that part in favor of the tools that tried to kill you over a damn file!” she snarled.

He smiled quietly, “So you’re not disagreeing then?”

She frowned then stammered, “To disagree would be to lie.”

“Still not a fan of lies I see?”

She glared but replied honestly, “No and given how many I feel like I’ve told lately I’m beginning to feel like a hypocrite.”

Oliver’s lips curved, “Felicity I think I’m affecting you…”

She glared darkly and, kept continuing with her original train of often sporadic thoughts. “again I’m avoiding that part because while I might be confused I know that I still have very strong feelings for you.”

He gave her a vexed look, “Which event do those feelings stem from?”

She rolled her perfectly blue eyes and shrugged, “Take your pick.”

“So that night we spent together three years ago…”

“Meant something…” she interrupted coldly.  “It meant something and while it wasn’t supposed to it did,” she sighed as his body fell backwards onto the broken down mattress.

“You’re not ready to discuss that yet are you?” he ventured slowly with a bit of happiness anchored to his tone.

“No and I won’t be until you tell me how you’ve spent the last two years,” she scolded with annoyance anchored to hers.

He rolled his eyes like her then cleared his throat and once again caved to Felicity’s request.

* * *

 

_2 Years Ago…_

_He swore he felt the ice of the cold gun’s loaded barrel along his skin for what seemed like hours. He moved down the side of the steep, jagged cliff with great care and some amount of difficulty as his shoes weren’t designed to withstand the rocks along the mountains unclaimed face. He grunted when he felt the edge of a larger boulder slash along the leather of his shoe until the tip of the stone was tearing along his tender flesh. He swore silently but, lumbered forward knowing once he stopped his body wouldn’t move for another few days._

_The lights of the town were small, quiet and quaint just like the residents who filled the air with idle conversation each morning when the sun had begun to rise upward towards the sky. The nearest building was a rustic if not somewhat charming bed and breakfast that had once served as a hiding place for him and a particular blonde whose life was now just as threatened as his own. His palm slipped down the rock cliff making him wince as the skin split and began to bleed. He tried to bandage the wound by untucking his shirt and ripping along the hemmed edge. He instead ripped the shirt apart leaving his abdomen exposed and his hand raw as he managed to limp his way towards the buildings side door._

_The streets were empty, the street lamps were lit and the door as always remained unlocked and, he hoped unattended as he draped his bloody palm over the knob. The hinges creaked just like they’d done another night almost a year before. He sighed but continued to push the squeaking door forward in hopes that the owner was a very sound sleeper. His hopes were sadly dashed once his muddy, now nearly destroyed shoes landed over the unchanged hardwood floors…_

_“You know I have this funny thing it’s called a front door…” the annoyed owner sputtered tiredly from the landing of his shadow laden staircase._

_Oliver glanced towards the man’s kind, deep, brown eyes then held up his wounded hand, “I didn’t think blood on your front door would be appreciated…”_

_Oliver waited for what felt like days. The owner slid his unmarred, large hands down the aging railing as his similar aged form lumbered softly over the exposed wooden planks of the stairs. “Did you just climb down the damn mountain?” he asked with a yawn and perhaps even a grin._

_Oliver pointed gingerly to the line of stools near the kitchen bar. The slightly older man nodded in grim approval while he ventured into another dark room only to return with a stack of bandages and, even a few clean towels. Oliver smiled when he placed the stack of supplies before him. “Aren’t you even a bit curious?” he muttered as his aching fingers began reaching for the freshly cleaned linens._

_HIs savior in a pair of flannel pj bottoms and a white shirt frowned, “Oh you’ve been breaking in here for years but, usually it was with another person in tow…”_

_Oliver grumbled, “Water and, let’s not bring her into this okay?”_

_He sighed, “Fine but, when should I expect the crusading duo of arrogance are us? as he leaned forward to turn on the kitchen sink._

_Oliver watched him him wet the towels before he gingerly began to clean his wound. “Diggle, it’s not like that this time…” he grumbled while the clean water slowly coated the gashes along his palms._

_He froze, Oliver’s eyes danced down to his feet when he muttered, “Oliver what the hell is going on?”_

_“I found something and, now they’re trying to kill me…” Oliver admitted as the older man’s face went pale._

_“Did they threaten the girl?” he jumped almost immediately._

_Oliver sighed, “Turns out I didn’t hide my affections nearly well enough. They know I’m in love her…”_

_He pressed the towel deeper into the cut, “But you haven’t seen her in almost a year? How  could they think you’re still in love with her? Hell she doesn’t even know does she?” he sputtered quickly while helping to remove any remaining blood or debris._

_“Look John, after we spent the night here she made a confession and I like an idiot got scared as you recall and, ran out to clear my head. By the time I came back she was gone and Laurel was waiting with news from my father…” Oliver saw John’s eyes twitch in anger he proceeded to speak knowing how even saying the words would taste over his tongue. “My father would have killed her had I not agreed to the engagement with Laurel.”_

_“So you went along with the plan to save the woman you loved yet; you on some level believed that Laurel was what you truly deserved?”_

_Oliver rolled his blue eyes until his head ached. “Yes Diggle, I thought Laurel was what I deserved. I thought she was my only option until Felicity showed me the truth. When Laurel suggested marriage I knew in the pit of my stomach something was wrong. I broke off any relationship we had that day but….”_

_“She was already working with Robert and Tommy hence the threat on Felicity’s life if you didn’t agree,” John surmised while Oliver simply nodded slowly._

_“They made the press announcement. They convinced me that regardless of the threat on her life I’d be wasting my time because she ran from me. I didn’t have the guts to see the truth until after the press was abuzz with our engagement rumors. I didn’t see the plan unfolding before me because, I was too focused on what I’d lost.”_

_John sighed, “Did you try to contact her? You know to say I’m a fool and, the stories are nothing more than lies?”_

_Oliver groaned as he spoke quietly. “I tried to contact Felicity yes but, she wouldn’t return my calls because like an idiot I realized I’d made a mistake by running out on her that morning. Now I’ve found files that shouldn’t exist and, she’s the only one who can help me find the truth...but sadly because of Laurel’s lies and, my actions she’s not exactly speaking to me. Also to add insult to injury she’s in danger again because of me and, now I don’t know what to do. So honestly what’s my next move? Do I run or do I find a way to end their plans before someone innocent dies?” he begged desperately._

_John dumped the bloodied towel into the sink and turned the faucet back on. He filled the sink with ice water until the towel was submerged. Oliver felt his stomach churn when the water began to turn pink. John mused almost to himself, “I can’t believe you ran from love.....”_

_Oliver grumbled but said nothing intelligible. John glanced at him briefly with a slight twinkle in his knowings eyes. Oliver’s body seemed to curl inward when his sometime friend gave him a not so friendly warning. “Either way Oliver she’s the one who they’ll use to find you and break you. She’s in danger because of you and now they know it so tomorrow when they come to search the town you better have an idea of what you’re going to do to save the woman you love.”_

_Oliver grumbled, “Oh goodie,” while John’s swift fingers pressed the edges of the bandage down._

_“Hey I’m not the one who used to bring her up here when you and the other one were on a break…” John argued a bit too lightly for it to be taken seriously._

_Oliver sighed, “Yeah well you let me and, what else could I do she refused to set foot in the house and, I’m in love with her.”_

_“Yeah and, yet you won’t tell her…” John mused as he shut the faucet off._

_Oliver’s forehead thumped along the counter, “It’s complicated,” he breathed. “I tried to tell her back in highschool and, it nearly destroyed us because she didn’t believe me.” He let out a frustrated groan moments later, “I don’t know if it was me or Laurel but when Felicity and Tommy ended my heart surged with hope. I then ended things with Laurel thinking after we had an interesting discussion and she moved on to Tommy.” He couldn’t believe he was saying it but the flood gates surrounding his soul were cracked and the waters were slowly beginning to seep through. “When I came back from college with a renewed purpose I found that while I was still thinking about Felicity my heart no longer broke everytime I even heard her name. Tommy was a mess and Laurel was surprisingly changed. She started doing what she’d done to entice me in highschool. I shrugged it off at first because despite everything I was….”_

_“Still in love with Felicity,” John breathed._

_Oliver shrugged but continued his purge. “Yeah but I knew going after her would create other issues so I began to settle into the idea that maybe Laurel was my one. I was tricked by the idea that perhaps she’d changed. I was fooled because, I wanted love…_

_“Yeah,” Diggle breathed deeply, “but she wasn’t the love you wanted.”_

_Oliver game him the ghost of a full smile, “As I told Felicity back in highschool Laurel, is what I deserved._

_John chose that moment to interject, “Then why did you seek Felicity out when she came back to town if Laurel was what you deserved?”_

_“Because just hearing her name did something to my soul that never happened in all my years of being with Laurel…” he groaned._

_John hesitated but, still he asked his question anyways. “So you spent six months meeting with Felicity in secret to what decide if you were suddenly worthy of her affections?”_

_Oliver kept his face hidden but his affected tone said more than his words ever could, “No…” he quaked, “I spent six months meeting with her because I realized I needed to be with her and, that was the only way she’d let me see her.”_

_John pushed harder, “Yeah but, then you slept together?”_

_“I swore I wouldn’t lose her friendship but, then Laurel and I got into another pointless fight over our by that point non-relationship and…” he finally sighed as his friend’s hand fell over his battered shoulder._

_“And you forgot your promise and, finally gave into your feelings,” John surmised as Oliver lamely shrugged._

_“She said it John. She said she loved me but, dammit I wasn’t sure she meant it….” he croaked. “I didn’t know what to do once I finally had the woman I so desperately wanted.”_

_Oliver felt his hand leaving his shoulder when he quietly reminded him of one very important fact. “If she didn’t feel the same she would’ve found a way out of all those secret meetings…”_

_“I’m not ready to talk about this yet,” Oliver grumbled in order to silence the coming lecture._

_John’s mumbled words made him smile all be it briefly when he began moving back towards the stairs. “Yeah well soon enough you won’t have a choice.”_

_Oliver moaned but, remained seated along the kitchen counter, “Same room as usual then?”_

_Diggle’s light laugh was heard once he’d reached the stairs landing, “I’ll see you in the morning and Oliver?”_

_“Yeah Digg?” he groaned without ever moving one sore muscle._

_“She deserved to know…”he whispered before his footsteps went silent._

_Oliver held back a tight, “I know…” as the darkness around him finally took it’s toll._

* * *

 

Present Day....

While blushing isn’t a crime it also isn’t a great way to hide one’s true feelings. Felicity surveyed his relaxed form and, sadly let out a rather wistful sigh, “So John was your ally then?”

She saw his abdomen flex once he bothered to move his tight, chiseled upper body upward. Her throat ran dry when his shirt crinkled over the hard, sculpted aspects of his very well built body. She cleared her dry throat when he smirked in pure enjoyment, “You’re really going to avoid this aren’t you?”

She tilted her tight neck and sighed in relief when her neck cracked seamlessly, “I’m not addressing it no,” she finally sputtered when his perfect blue eyes danced over her curled up form.

His light laugh made her toes curl, “I’m going to make you admit it sooner or later Lissy…”

She glared, “It’s Felicity and, we met here a handful of times so let’s not open up any more old wounds okay?”

His dopey grin made her feel weak knee’d even while sitting over the cold floor. “True but the last time our relationship definitely changed,” he implored with more cock than ease in his tight tone.

She sulked. Oliver was pushing her to talk and she wasn’t ready nor willing to let him see the hole in her heart that had never truly healed. She knew she was once again lying but, she just couldn’t admit how she truly felt. “It was sex Oliver, pure and simple. I wanted you, you wanted me, I was drunk and lonely, you were confused and, well let’s just say some booze was involved,” she noted with ease. “Now I know I said it meant something but, as I said I’m not rady to go there so please just drop it.” Oliver’s brows raised in silent surrender while she veered toward her other verbal quandary, “ Now how has Diggle the inn keeper aided your undercover movements for the past two years.”

He still smiled brightly, “It wasn’t just sex and, John simply lends me a place to stay from time to time. He listens to my theories and provides encouragement but, he rarely gets more involved than that.” He stretched a bit when he added perhaps just for sport, “I’m only here because John’s gone to visit his brother as I already told you.”

Felicity’s curious nature made her lips move before her brain could stop her, “Why does he help you at all?”

Oliver’s chest heaved in sadness, “Do you remember the accident at my father’s main office about six years ago?”

Felicity nodded and mumbled contritely, “Yeah I was actually tempted to call you when I heard about the blast why?”

She saw his eyes brighten but he kept his hopeful delusions to himself, “Well that blast was merely a test for his greater overall plan,” Oliver started as Felicity’s mind raced. “That “test” killed John’s wife and young daughter. He’s helping me to avenge them,” he finally admitted as Felicity’s heart when cold.  

Felicity was about to ambush him with even more questions when her phone buzzed with anger along her hip. She growled knowing just how bad this exchange was about to be. She slipped her fingers along the side of the buzzing device and swallowed a small gulp before whimpering, “Don’t be you…”

Oliver mouthed, “Me?” while gesturing towards his perfect chest.

She shook her head while mouthing, “No…” Her fingers shook with trepidation when she finally whispered, “So are you to elfcon one yet?”

“REALLY!” she seethed as Felicity held the phone away from her ear. “A SANTA CLAUSE REFERENCE! I HAVEN’T HEARD FROM YOU IN HOURS AND YOU’RE TRYING TO BE CUTE? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD LISSY! I THOUGHT YOU’D BEEN CRUSHED BY AN AGING HOUSE AND YOU’RE TRYING TO BE FUNNY!”

Felicity tried to intercede, “Sara honey, I’m okay I just lost track of time while I was doing my visual inspection.”

Sadly her best friend wasn’t yet done, “OH DON’T YOU HONEY ME! I WAS SCARED AND, NO THAT’S NOT SOMETHING I ENJOY FEELING!”

Felicity pressed the receiver to her lips and, growled, “Well I get to feel this way about once a damn week so welcome to my world.

Oliver’s lips twitched when she finally pressed the phone back to her ear. Sara must have calmed down since she was now mumbling, “Why can’t you for once not use my nature against me…”

Felicity’s small smile returned. Oliver’s eyes danced as her lips curved. Her blue eyes met his forcing her to mouth, “Don’t….”

He held up his hands in mock surrender as he mouthed back, “What?”

She wagged her index finger suggestively while Sara rambled, “Well anyways are you still at the haunted manor?”

Felicity had to swallow a giggle when Oliver’s brows twitched, “Yeah, it’s dusty but, not haunted so I’ll just camp out in a spare room to finish my observations and then I’ll do the outside tomorrow.”

“Ewww you’re going to sleep there?”

Felicity did her patented eye roll, “Yes because I’m tired and the bed and breakfast isn’t open until tomorrow,” she answered quickly which made her silent, smirking partner gasp in fake shock.

“Okay but, seriously if you don’t check in at 8am I’m going to send a chopper with about ten thousand police officers up there to that damn mountain to find you,” she sweetly teased while also being deadly serious.

“Yeah, yeah,” Felicity chirped before ending the call and stashing the phone back into her pocket. She saw Oliver’s eyebrows curve, “What?” she asserted plainly towards his shocked if not bemused face.

“I see you and Sara are still thick as thieves,” he commented in vague understanding of their sisterly bond.

Felicity shrugged, “Yeah well she’s also my roommate so…”

“So….does she know about our lost night?” Oliver pressed with interest.

“Nope, she’s unaware of my foolish choice that night,” Felicity lied as he placed his elbows along his knees.

She tilted her head as he grinned, “Why won’t you admit that you’re still in love with me?”

She smiled then bit at her lower lip, “I’d admit it if it were the least bit true…”

He chuckled but sighed in amused defeat, “Well since you’re staying you can take the bed and, I’ll sleep on the floor if that works for you?” he offered in order to end the conversation on a flirtatious note.

Felicity shook her head in dismay, “You know apparently you’ve forgotten that while I won’t admit to having any positive feelings for you I’m not cold hearted.”

Oliver rose to his own defense, “I was trying to be considerate…”

Felicity just let her chin fall to her chest, “I get the left side and, if you even think about touching my I’ll knee you in the crotch got it?”

She didn’t have to see him to know her query was met with a mixture of fear and, happiness. “I sleep without a shirt…” he mentioned just to goad her.

She shrugged, “I’m usually nude…”

“I wouldn’t want you to change your routine for me…” he gasped in complete shock.   
She giggled at her small joke while he continued to croak nervously, “You’re teasing me aren’t you?”

She felt her body heave forward in amusement, “Yes but, someone’s arrogance called for it…”

“I hate it when you do that,” he snarled as the mattress beneath him creaked.

She inched forward and, up as he shifted to make room for her on the bed. She mumbled, “I usually at least brush my teeth…”

He gestured with his chin while mumbling, “Bathroom’s all yours my friend.

She cracked her back by leaning from side to side slowly. “But my bag’s outside…” she realized almost sadly.

“Then use my shirt and toothbrush,” he yawned before adding with another yawn, “problem solved.

She was almost through the open doorway when she whispered a amused, “My hero.”

He managed to let out a sluggish, “Only because I love you,” as she slowly closed the door.


	6. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Oliver sleeps Felicity remembers how it felt to be in love with Oliver Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter Six: Waking Up**

 

 

The house creaked as the wind blew roughly around the silent and, barely standing structure. The lights were out, the rooms were covered in dust and debris, the windows were cracked allowing the wind to float through the devastated space with unchained ease. Two sleeping bodies were curled in a dark corner while the light of the full moon protected them from harm…

If only the moon could protect them from their dreams…

Today she’d been given both a gift and, a curse. Today she’d found out his engagement to Laurel was all a lie created by Robert for reasons that still remained a mystery. She’d found out that even after all these years someone was still in love with her and, she found out that sometimes a bridge can be built over very turbulent waters.

Felicity felt every seemingly perfect muscle of his sculpted arms as they slowly began to curl tightly around her slender waist. Her body tensed, her heart clenched and her lips quivered while her mind screamed for her to move...Instead she remained still, quiet and, oddly comfortable within his grasp. She couldn’t help but snicker quietly to herself when his fingers began dancing along her skin. His fingertips felt soft and, at the same time rough as they swept over the fabric of her borrowed shirt. She grinned lowly then whispered in muted tones, “I should be pushing you away yet here I am letting you hold me anyways…”

His touch sparked a memory of another time when Felicity should have walked away and, yet she simply decided to run straight towards him anyways...

* * *

 

_The scene before her was downright idyllic with every array of flower in full bloom. Her eyes scanned over the endless fields of tulips, lilies and even an array of brightly colored roses. The various perfumes scented the air with their luscious scent while the bees buzzed from bud to bud in search of pollen for their hives.  She brushed her fingers over one rose’s soft, pink petals while she used her brightly painted lips to convey her first question._

_“So I’ve been back in town for a matter of three days and, you’ve already convinced me to meet you in an empty meadow near the local B &B…” she shifted her eyes to his slumped form. His fingers were hidden in the pockets of his jeans, his shoulders were slouched forward and, his eyes were dancing from side to side while his left foot tapped out a small tune of fear. She grinned despite the circumstances and let her soft voice roll between through the endless breeze. “I’m wondering Mr. Queen if I should be fearful of finding you somewhat charming once again,”  she took an elongated pause while he shuffled from side to nervous side._

_“You’re admitting you found me charming?” he sputtered with surprise._

_She cocked her head and gazed over his aged face. The years as she knew they would be had been extremely kind. He no longer had the soft, untouched skin of days gone by. Now his chin and, cheeks were covered in a few days worth of scruff. She noted with a small amount of pleasure that his endless blue eyes seemed to darken everytime her hips gently swayed. She coughed a bit roughly when she saw his adam’s apple bob, “You’ve dodging the unspoken question.”_

_He gulped audibly, “I’m waiting for it to be asked if you don’t mind…”_

_She gently batted her long, painted lashes and lowered her voice until it felt almost sultry before she let the question between them float through her waiting lips,  “So what’s it going to be Oliver? Are we going to rehash the past or not?”_

_His smile made her knees buckle when he smiled shyly. She grinned then swallowed roughly when his dancing eyes made her excited stomach jump. “I’ll be honest I’m still stuck on the fact that you actually showed up,” he admitted in the cutest nervous tone that she swore she’d ever heard._

_“You’re still dodging,” she squeaked back just as timidly._

_His nervous smile grew as he timidly spoke, “I’m still nervous about the answer…”_

_“Yeah me too,” she gulped before his lips had time to fully close._

_His lips pursed, his body tensed and his eyes danced with frantic almost nervous energy. His fingers twitched from inside his pockets when he finally decided to take a verbal step forward. “So ummm how have you been?”_

_His awkward question made her fingers still over the endless field of petals. She lifted her fingers to her fallen hair and replied while she pushed them gently back into place. “You’re charm is wearing thin…”_

_“Yeah well that was bound to happen,” he chuckled gruffly._

_She rolled her sapphire eyes and decided to push the conversation forward, “Cut the crap Queen it’s been what almost six years since we last spoke?”_

_His neck cracked when his head moved rapidly back and forth, “Well Lissy given how we umm ended things I wasn’t sure of where to start exactly,” he finally managed to murmur through tight lips._

_She allowed his confusion and, even admired his comments. “Well first off it’s Felicity and secondly I’d say six years of silence over a non relationship is long enough wouldn’t you agree?”_

_“I agree that that it’s been long enough but, I don’t agree that it was a non relationship,” he managed to mumble quietly from his position across the field._

_She shifted her body so her back was facing the endless line of freshly bloomed flowers. He grinned and took one timid step forward, she remained still while he took his first timid steps toward her. Her skin bristled as the wind blew softly around them. The back of his shirt billowed out proudly while her own knee length skirt danced around the calves of her trim legs. She smiled while her cheeks flushed red. He lowered his once proud head and kept his eyes trained on the ground before him while she kept her bright eyes focused on his slumped form. He whispered softly once they were mere feet from eachother, “You’re not pouncing on my last statement…”_

_Felicity’s lashes fluttered as her lips slightly parted, “Why should I? We never had anything worth mentioning,” she uttered teasingly._

_She saw his fingers moving along the inside of his jeans pocket. He grinned accusingly, “You know for someone who ran from something more with me you’re awfully flirtatious Fel-ic-ity…”_

_She lifted her palms toward her shoulders in mock surrender, “Perhaps six years with no other offers made me long for our torrid past…”_

_She saw his lips curve in amused understanding, “You haven’t changed a bit have you?” he finally asked as she giggled in defeat._

_“You know Tommy always fell for that act…” she mumbled when she realized her carefree defense hadn’t fooled the boy with endless blue eyes, “so why the hell don’t you?” she finally asked as he took another timid step forward._

_“You’re not a tease Felicity,” he shrugged knowingly. “You used to put this act on whenever Tommy dragged you to some party so let’s just say I remember the defense…”_

_Her head bobbed, “Yeah you always seemed distracted…” she murmured as her palms fell to her sides._

_“I wasn’t nearly as distracted as a certain someone would have liked,” he mumbled almost too quietly for her to hear._

_She whistled lowly sensing they might be traveling towards some unmarked territory. “So I get to be your dirty secret again I see?”_

_He repeated her previous behavior and, rolled his perfect blue eyes, “You only agreed to see me once I offered a secluded spot Felicity. I wanted to take you to dinner or at the very least lunch near my office. It was your idea to meet out here where no one could see…” His accusation made her head spin with a twinge of regret._

_She nodded slyly, “I did….”_

_She still couldn’t fully see his eyes but his tone was telling, “Why couldn’t we meet in town like I suggested?”_

_She coiled her arms to her chest and exhaled deeply, “Well I’ve spent six years distancing myself from your family drama so let’s just say I wanted to keep my life and your’s separate…”_

_His eyes fell to the ground before they once more locked on her own, “And why was the house off limits?” he groaned lightly._

_Her glare said more than her words ever could, “You’re a funny man you know that?” she accused lowly._

_“I take it you’d prefer to leave that day in the past then?” he interceded moments later._

_“Precisely,” she agreed quickly yet quietly as the space between them remained. She glanced over his shoulder and, wondered aloud when she saw a man’s shadow move within the structure. “So umm not to you know push us toward a different subject but ummm how did you get the inn keeper to let us meet here anyways?”_

_Oliver followed the line of her hooded eyes and chuckled deeply, “He’s an old friend from my college days. I used to come down to the inn when Laurel and I had an argument about her dating my brother so when I told him about you and, our story he was more than  happy to lend us some space to talk.”_

_Felicity accepted his answer but, kept her arms anchored to her upper arms. “So that means we can continue this awkward little talk inside then?” she questioned in humor._

_Oliver’s feet tapped along the ground when he muttered, “Yeah, sure let’s go…”_

_Felicity waited until she could clearly see the outline of his muscled back before she dared to move forward towards the main road. Part of her heart yearned to be feel his touch upon her skin, hell part of her only came here because she wanted to see his dazzlingly blue eyes. He called out over his shoulder as she stood behind him frozen, “Ummm it’s going to be hard for us to talk if you don’t come inside…”_

_She yelled back as her feet propelled her forward, “Well look who’s pointing out the obvious.”_

_His shoulders shook when he smirked. She giggled and, rolled her neck as her sluggish steps became quicker ones. She wanted to feel his skin upon her own that was true but, the bigger part of her already wondered how badly this entire ordeal was going to end._

* * *

 

Felicity’s eyes slid open with ease as the finally clear memory moved softly through her mind. Her dreams of that night were always fractured and, distorted because her behavior that day had been so out of character for a normally shy, reserved girl. She always assumed that she’d been nervous and, shrugged the memory aside. She always assumed it’d all been one sided....

What she’d forgotten was the moment that led to every single memory she’d spent years trying to erase. She stared at the dust laden ceiling and, marveled at the delicate cobwebs that danced lightly along the popcorn ceiling of the darkened room. She let her body ease and, her mind clear while she searched through her own cobwebs for a memory she’d once tried to destroy…

* * *

 

_“Hmmm that’s actually the right answer,” she mused while Oliver’s brow furrowed in aggravated agreement of her layered statement._

_“I’m not an idiot Lissy, I’m actually fairly intelligent for a jock.”_

_She brushed her fingers over the delicate loops of his nines and twos while she scanned over the equations before her. She felt his heavy sighs along her cheek as he inched himself closer to her crouched form. She allowed the small movements and, smiled with delight when she chuckled, “I never said you were stupid my friend. I simply think you’re being stupid when it comes to other aspects of your life.”_

_Oliver huffed, “I’m not discussing this again Felicity…”_

_She pushed her hair behind her ears and, narrowed her eyes before shifting her gaze to his handsomely confused face. “You deserve real love Oliver,” she whispered almost in complete shock. “You deserve a real life and, frankly it’s not going to be with Laurel.”_

_His oversized palm seemed to smudge his handsome features as he dragged the weary appendage down his face slowly. “You don’t want to have this conversation Lissy...you don’t want to hear what I have to say,” he grumbled in hushed, exhausted tones._

_The room around still reflected damage from the daily summer storms. The window’s were still cracked, the floors still had bits of smashed glass and fallen leaves scattered about in random corners. Felicity brought her fingers to her lap and folded them together until her bent knuckles were white. Oliver’s body seemed to teem with nervous, almost volatile energy. Her sideways glance caught the appearance of a shudder when he breathed, “Why did I chose you? Why the hell didn’t I see this?”_

_“Oliver?” she mused quietly with her brow furrowed in mostly silent confusion._

_His chin dipped while his hands slid along his jeans. She continued to stare at him wordlessly while he muttered mostly incoherently, “I didn’t want this...I didn’t want to feel the way I do...I wanted this to go away…”_

_Her fingers ached from undo strain when she asked, “Oliver what’s going on?”_

_He laughed almost sadly, “You’d run if you knew what was racing through my head right now…”_

_Felicity frowned, “Oliver what are you getting at?”_

_She felt the late spring breeze through the cracked windows. The scent of lavender and lily’s filled the room with hope and, renewal while the man beside her turned into a muttering pile of self-loathing. His palms brushed rapidly over his upper thighs, his face remained veiled by the shadows of the room as  his chin remained anchored to his chest. She felt her fingers breaking apart as she sought for some small token of comfort, his chest heaved with unexpressed words while his shoulders slumped in despair…_

_“Oliver you’re starting to scare me…” she babbled when his body began rocking back and forth between the back of the couch and the broken down coffee table. The wind swept around them with the scent of spring while his harsh breaths grew darker. Felicity stammered once more out of terror, “Okay Oliver what the hell is going on?”_

_“I’m afraid…” he gasped as his head shot up._

_His blue eyes now seemed gray, he licked his nervous lips and brushed his fingers along the caps of his knees. Felicity whispered, “Of what?”_

_He mumbled with shaky breaths, “Of falling in love…”_

_She felt her body leaning closer as his lips parted. His fingers started to ease along his knees, her fingers began reaching for his slightly bruised digits. She almost whimpered, “Oliver what are you saying?”_

_He smiled sadly, “I’m saying I’m in love with you…”_

* * *

 

She shuffled her feet and groaned when her toes slid over the front of his calves. The way he sounded when he’d admitted his love still stung her broken soul.  His nose was wedged between her neck and shoulder as she snuggled into his embrace. His soft lips danced over her shoulder as he softly snored against her ear. She laughed internally when she reviewed how she’d reacted…

She laughed because she ran...she ran back to someone who almost eight years later would threaten to kill her. She laughed because here she was determining if she was ready to run again....

She tried to shrug off the memory knowing she wasn’t ready to dig that far into her own heart and, gave him a cautious sideways glance. Her heart nearly skipped when she muttered, “I never got over you…” towards his sleeping face. She smiled when his lips curved happily in his sleep. She pressed her fingers along his knuckles and sighed, “I’m afraid of you so in order to protect my heart I’m trying to push you away…”

His knees brushed along the back of her upper calves as he snored softly in response. She grinned and let her forehead fall over his sleeping brow, “You know admitting that I’m still in love with you is much easier when you aren’t awake to gloat about it…” she finally croaked in begrudging acceptance as he slept soundly around her.

In that moment she realized somewhat suddenly that the man she’d hated,  grieved and, ultimately loved was here sleeping soundly beside her. He was alive, he was right here breathing softly as his rising chest bumped along her curved spine. He was here and, she was scared to death because, now she didn’t want to run...

She peered out the window and groaned when the night sky still held thousands of bright, twinkling stars. She let the glimmering pins of endless light quietly mock her while the room around her groaned and creaked as the wind blew savagely outside. The branches raced across the thin layer of glass with screeching precision. Felicity let the harsh sound calm her jumping nerves. His soft snores raced across her skin like lightening bugs raced along an evening sky. HIs surprisingly soft skin remained anchored over her waist, his fingers were tangled in the fabric of his loaned oversized tee-shirt and, his chest was pressed along the sharp angles of her back.

Felicity shifted beneath his touch when his body angled closer. She nuzzled her face against his brow that smelled surprisingly of cedar and mint while her knees inched toward her trim waist. His knees fell in behind her own as they bent, his nose fell over her shoulder as he gently nuzzled her cooling skin. She let him pull her closer as he too continued to entwine their weary forms. Despite her previous reservations, she admitted silently to herself this time that she was savoring the warmth of his body against her own. She shuddered when his lips danced over the nape of neck before another soft snore sent chills down her electrified spine.  

The branches rattled along the windows when his actions forced a nearly forgotten memory towards the once still surface of very deep waters…

* * *

 

_Three Years Ago…_

_“This can’t be okay?” she hiccuped along the collar of his shirt. Oliver’s fingers slid down the fabric along her spine with practiced ease while his other hand danced along the aging lock of the cheap front door._

_She watched him jimmy the lock with a credit card of all things as he held her tightly with one arm. He whispered along her brow gently once the cylinder of the lock slipped free of it’s metal shackle. “Old trick I learned when Laurel and I were first dating…”_

_She gurgled drunkenly, “Well that’s a image I want in my head…”_

_His smile along her brow sent chills of pleasure racing along her skin. “Don’t judge so quickly Lissy. The reason could still surprise you…”_

_She let his words travel along her fading sense of hearing until all she could mumble with any confidence was, “Nope anything relating to Laurel is bad…”_

_He chuckled but remained mum as he dragged her through the small sitting area that looked much bigger when bathed in the afternoon light. The pale colored walls now looked dark, the furniture seemed tattered and worn, the floors seemed to creak and, the house seemed to speak as he gently pulled her further into his warm side. She wrapped her arms around his torso and marveled at how solid he felt along her trembling touch. She must have mumbled, “Damn you’re solid…” because moments later she felt him brush his lips to her temple._

_“What’s that for?” she coughed as he gently guided her up the steep flight of unforgiving stairs._

_“I’ll tell you when you’re not slurring your words,” he allowed with ease as his feet finally found the landing._

_She rolled her chin along his collarbone while he continued to nudge her along the aging floors. She let her mind wonder as the various scents of almond, lilac, and honey assaulted her senses. The alcohol in her stomach burned along her throat when the various smells attacked her all at once. She burped uncontrollably, “I think I’m going to puke,” as his hand gently traveled down the line of her spine._

_He breathed along her skin since his lips seemed to be anchored to her forehead, “Just focus on me Lissy, focus on my voice okay?’_

_She pinched his sides and muttered, “Fel-ic-ty, Oliver my name is Felicity not Lissy.”_

_He seemed to ignore her sputtered words until he remarked clearly, “Why won’t you let me call you Lissy?”_

_She tripped over her drunken feet but, didn’t move an inch since Oliver had her chest anchored to his side. She rubbed her nose along the collar of his shirt roughly while her lips moved along the pale skin of his chest, “My friends call me Lissy, hell even Tommy did…” she seemed to realize suddenly with shock._

_“Yes and I thought I now qualified as a friend,” he suggested slowly. “I thought we’d begun to repair our relationship,” he also offered when he stopped to open a door._

_His skin felt soft, sure and taut along her mouth. She kissed him gently as her drunken thoughts continued to weave her into an inescapable mess. “No...no with you it’s different I don’t want to be Lissy with you...I want to be Felicity if that makes any sense at all?”_

_She looked at with almost hopeful eyes once her lips left the skin of his chest. He traced along her jawline with his index finger while his thumb brushed along her bottom lip. Her heart nearly fluttered when he pressed a simple kiss to the tip of her button like nose. “You’ll always be Felicity to me…” he murmured before his fingers fell to her shoulder. She tilted her chin and angled her face. Oliver too angled his face and began to incline his sturdy neck._

_She rasped with the taste of whiskey over her failing tongue, “We’re making a mistake you know that right?”_

_He seemed to nod in complete agreement but, his body still was inching closer. She squeezed along his waist until he’s begun to trail his fingers down her side. Her breath hitched, his eyes gleamed and, their hearts raced as their lips hovered over each other’s. She whispered, “We’re about to kiss aren’t we?”_

_His answer was the pressure of his lips against her very surprised ones…_

* * *

 

Present Day…

His harsh breathing shook her from her daydream. Her lashes fluttered over his dampened skin when she rubbed her fingers over his knuckles. He yawned in a state of deep sleep, “You’ll always be my Felicity…” like he’d been dreaming of the same memory.

She whispered as her fingers ghosted over his knuckles, “Yes I’m truly afraid I will be…” before she let her eyes close and, her mind finally rest as the peace of his embrace made her feel oddly whole.


	7. A Change of Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out that there's more to Laurel than it seems and perhaps not only Felicity will be there to help Oliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter 7: A change of Perspective**

 

 

Night meant shadows, darkness and, most importantly secrets that in the cruel light of day often seemed far more devious then when shrouded by the cover of night. This night like so many others was meant to be more of the same. More time spent in a cramped front seat with the windows down as the summer breeze poured through the cold darkness of not just the car but the inhabitants soul. Yes tonight was just like all the others…

Or it was until the spy on the hill saw a face she’d spent two years praying would be found dead; all while knowing he never would. Her fingers curled around the steering wheel while the clouds of an approaching storm gathered in the distance. Her teeth grazed along her bottom lip gently when her attentions were diverted to her buzzing purse. She swept through her few belongings and, sighed when his brown eyes stared back at her. She glanced once more at the window. Her thoughts were frenzied but, her mission was clear. She quickly shifted the car into reverse as her purse continued to joylessly buzz...

The coffee shop was three blocks away from the darkened windows of the local B&B. The owner per the middle aged waitress was in another city visiting family. Like most the buildings in this quaint little town the outer walls were worn down bricks and, aging cement. Her fingers trailed along the broken down walls each time she found herself waiting in the red vinyl booth’s cracked seats. The oversized black and white clock boomed with each hour that seemed to slowly pass by...the bright red of the walls also seemed loud when compared to the dark, emptiness of the black ones around them. Sitting in the back booth with her fingers tapping over an empty table Laurel, gave her a shallow smile before pushing a crinkled five dollar bill toward her waiting fingers, “Will this cover it Trudy?” she asked kindly with no malice to her often icy tone.

The red headed, freckle faced woman with wrinkled eyes and a sweet smile gathered up the five dollar bill before her aging fingers drifted over Laurel’s outstretched knuckles. “It always does…” she coo’d comfortingly as she placed the scalding cup of black coffee on the vinyl covered tables.

Laurel slumped down the red, squeaky seats of the 50’s themed diner and sighed, “Will it be enough to cover another cup?”

Trudy patted the back of her hand reassuringly and spoke with gentle reassurment, “Expecting company that might not show?”

Laurel’s tired eyes drifted toward the oversized clock near the white subway tiles lining the back of the bar. She frowned quietly, “If she doesn’t trust me I won’t be the least bit surprised…”

“What if she does?” came a similar sounding voice from the back of the otherwise empty dining room. “What if despite everything she still believes that her former sister is worth saving?” she asked cautiously as her heels clicked over the black and white checkered flooring of the small diner.   
Trudy left the second cup on the table and slowly began backing along the line of booths near the end of the restaurant's dining space. Laurel simply bowed her head in silent gratitude while Sara’s scowling face came dangerously close.

“Did you have trouble finding the place?” Laurel breathed once she heard Sara sliding along the back of the booth opposite her.

“No, but then again we’ve been down this extremely well traveled road before now haven’t we?”

Laurel dared to lift her cowardly eyes. Sara grinned before her calmly with bright, wild eyes and red pouty lips. Her dirty blonde hair was pulled back in two double dutch braids, her trim form was disguised beneath an oversized bomber jacket, her fingers danced before her around the other steaming mug. Sara eyed her sister’s cold, lifeless eyes as she’d done countless times before only to find more of the same darkness and, empty despair. Laurel felt her own weakened heart tighten in desperation when Sara’s angered voice wondered out past her ruby lips, “Laurel I told you I’m only here to help my true sister so I recommend you state your case so I can be on my way.”

Laurel’s frown said more than her resigned sigh could ever say. “When did I stop being your sister?”

Sara’s blue eyes flashed in tempered fury. Laurel’s own pale green ones flashed with somber intentions while Sara’s voice gave way to the darkness hiding within her otherwise brightened soul. “You stopped being my sister the day you betrayed Felicity and sided with Robert…”

Laurel’s head bowed in immediate shame, “He offered me a life what the hell did you think I was going to do?”

She felt the table rattle when Sara’s hand fell with force to the aging table, “He offered you nothing you bitch. He offered you the chance to be one man’s eternal whore that’s all.”

Laurel’s eyes slammed shut, her fingers nearly cracked the handle of the mug as her voice cracked in despair, “You’re right he did and, guess what I’m finally trying to do the right thing…”

She heard Sara’s loud gulp of complete surprise, “You just admitted I was right…”

Laurel would have smiled if she’d been so inclined, “Yeah because two years ago the man I loved broke my heart…”

Laurel would have snickered at her sister’s shellshocked face if she hadn’t been so shocked by her own statement. Sara’s fingers slid along the mug carefully, “You have my attention…” she mumbled. “You have my attention,” she repeated as her lips pursed quietly.

Laurel let her sister’s change of mood flow off her like water as it slipped along the smoothed edges of a worn stone. She let the small twinkle of her eyes glimmer before she began to weave her pathetic tale of bad choices and, even worse decisions. The coffee before her was tepid, the diner was quiet and, the only sound that existed between them was the thudding of two solitary hearts that once upon a time seemed to beat as one. “Well let’s start with this, how much do you remember from highschool?”

Sara seemingly immune to the situation chuckled like a sister who was recalling fond memories, “Well you were a slut and apparently bad at it since Oliver fell in love with Felicity why?”

Even Laurel found that remark a bit amusing since she herself laughed if only somberly. “Well for starters I wasn’t a slut or at least I didn’t see it that way and secondly Oliver fell in love with Felicity long before our senior year of highschool.”

Sara’s interest was bubbling through the room like a crackling fire on a cold winter’s night. She even inched forward on her elbows as her chin fell upon her open palms. Her lips pursed when she uttered, “Well let’s not keep the suspense going…”

Laurel’s fingers fell through her hair nervously. The last time she and, Sara had even shared the same air had been the day of their mother’s funeral almost six years ago. That day they’d called a ceasefire to mourn their loss but, after that the truce was broken and sides were forever taken. She slipped along the seat that felt cool and comforting, gracefully as she pulled her legs to her chest. Her sneakers rested over the broken down seat’s worn edge while she finally spilled her first deep, dark secret. “Did I ever tell you how I came to be in Robert’s employment as it were?”

Sara’s chin rubbed over her palms swiftly, “Ummm, actually no…” she realized aloud.

* * *

 

_Laurel’s childlike smile flashed ever so briefly across her sunken face. “Well I’d gone with mom to the Queen mansion to drop off some paperwork since mom was at that time Robert’s secretary.” She stopped to see if Sara’s eyes had shifted from just plain curious to the eyes of a very seasoned reporter. To her immense relief they had… “Anyways mom forgot a contract in the car so she went to retrieve it and, that’s when I first realized that Oliver was in love with Felicity.” Laurel took a sip from her cooling mug letting the memory of the day pour through her like the sun as it travels along the lines of a stained glass window…._

_Her blondish hair never really appealed to her but, then again nearly nothing these days did she noted as she swept her hair along her shoulders. Laurel’s small fingers traveled along the binders of the many books within the castle like library. Authors such as Shakespeare, Tolkien, Plato, and hell even Dean Koontz resided along these walls of opulence and endless grandeur. She was about to remove an old Nancy Drew story from the shelf she’d been perusing when she heard the most delightful sound her young ears had ever heard._

_She let the book’s binding slip from her grip until it was once more lying along the bottom of the dusty shelf. She scanned the empty room until she spotted the large stained glass window across the way. She walked toward the vibrant hues of red, yellow, orange and even green while the joyful laughter continued to permeate the stale library air. The sound of her footfalls was interrupted by the sound of a young woman’s carefree voice… “Oliver this is stupid! I’m not going to take a class just so you aren’t alone!”_

_Laurel pressed her nose to a piece of clear colored glass and, watched the scene before her prying eyes. “Oh come Lissy! It’s a computer class….” he seemed to tease as his fingers swept back and forth over her outer shoulder. The boy she recognized as Oliver Queen. They’d met a handful of times and, while he seemed to think she was cute his attentions were always diverted if his dark haired sidekick was by his side. Laurel’s fingers slid down to the windows ledge as she quietly marveled at the pair before her. Oliver’s fingers were now twisting along the sweet sounding girl’s chin while her’s were wrapped around his elbows. His electric smile grew as they’re foreheads grew closer._

_“You really want me to be there don’t you?” she heard the beautiful girl whisper as their heads gently bumped._

_Her heart nearly leapt when his nose edged along her own before his lips curved into the shyest smile she’d ever seen cross such a handsome boy’s face. “Lissy I really want you there…” he seemed to murmur as if his voice were fingers trailing down the slope of her slender jaw._

_“Adorable aren’t they?” came an almost gruff if not slightly upset voice from directly behind her now frozen spine._

_Laurel’s eyes slid up to the top of the window as she gulped, “Yes Mr. Queen they really are.”_

_He placed a cold hand over her right shoulder as he came to spy beside her. Laurel’s body froze. His very presence made the room feel ten degrees cooler than just mere seconds before. She hiccuped nervously as the pair fell into a simple yet sweet if not childish embrace. “My mother forgot the contract so I was just waiting for her to come back.”_

_Robert’s thumb slipped over her shoulder the way her father’s always did when she was nervous or upset. “It’s alright sweetheart I was just passing by so I thought I’d say hello…” he seemed to breathe through clenched lips._

_Laurel’s stomach flipped when she nearly choked on her next few words, “So ummm how long have they been together?” like they were much older than her own tender thirteen years._

_His fingers slipped off her shoulder and back to his side. She peered at his profile and, shivered at the edge of disgust that littered the proud man’s face. “They aren’t anything and, they never will be…” he lowly declared as her mother’s heels clicked along the hardwood floors…._

* * *

 

“Wait a minute….” Sara blurted out once Laurel’s eyes flashed back to the room before her.

“Yes Sarbear?” she easily coo’d towards the frowning blonde.

Sara let the nickname slip for a moment while she walked her way through the question’s Laurel’s memory had produced. “You couldn’t know he loved her! Hell he didn’t even know it and, Felicity calls me that no one else….”

Laurel held her frail hands up as a sign of surrender. Sara’s frazzled eyes simmered quietly while she waited for the answers to her questions. “He loved her Sara, trust me. I’ve been touched by his tenderness and never once did he caress my nose like he does with her. Secondly maybe he didn’t know but I did and that’s all that matters in the context of this story got it?”

She tightly “hmmm’d” but remained quiet. Laurel took that as her own version of a very small white flag. Sensing the waters might still be fairly sailable she continued to explain how that moment led to her arrangement with Robert. “Anyways… about a month later mom and, I once again had to visit the Queen estate.” She could see Sara’s instincts clawing along the edges of her unyielding glare. She knew a deadly blow was about to be dealt and, she clearly was preparing for the blood loss. “This time unlike the first time she told me to wait in the car. I pretended to obey before I slipped out towards the garden where I’d first seen Oliver and Felicity.” Sara remained still but her eyes blazed like a star as it begins to die. “I was near the back garden you remember the one with the rows of lilies?” She nodded stiffly but kept a stiff upper lip. Laurel bowed her head and, let her carefully crafted mask slip as her words continued to endlessly flow… “Mom’s laughter next to Felicity’s was just about the happiest sound I’d ever heard. The way it filled me left me feeling like a firefly as it bounces through a summer evening. I was so entranced by her laughter that when I heard it from behind the row of thorny rose bushes I couldn’t help but be drawn to it.” Laurel swallowed a gnarled sob as her heart once again broke, “I saw the edge of her jaw, as I neared the clearing, I saw her brush her lips along his cheek before I saw his fingers drifting down the sides of her slim waist…”

Sara’s words sounded like she’d begun to bleed internally, “Mom was having an affair with Robert wasn’t she?”

Laurel glanced at her sister’s crestfallen face before nodding numbly. “By the time I’d learned about it the affair had been going on for three years.”

Sara’s tongue clicked in mild disgust at what she now knew her sister had chosen to do, “So he bought your silence with the promise of what money and security?”

She felt like her body was a broken record, “He knew that I thought Oliver was cute so he might have at first greased the wheels…”

Sara nearly lost her temper then and there but thankfully her coffee cup stilled her growing ire, “So you at thirteen decided to what give up your soul for a chance with a boy you claim was already in love with someone else?”

She mumbled contritely, “No I agreed to keep mom’s secret if Robert made it so I could feel what it felt like to be adored by the boy I saw in that damn garden. It wasn’t until later that I realized that having Robert’s favor meant I could do whatever I damn well pleased…”

Sara mumbled in harsh agreement, “You drove her away from him Laurel.” Laurel’s eyes slipped in silent shame. “You knew he loved her and, you still drove her away because you wanted to feel falsely adored?” she pushed as Laurel’s lips parted in vocalized shame.

Laurel argued her point when she decried, “His love for her wasn’t disrupted by my actions by the way...if anything his affections for her grew stronger not weaker…”

“Really? And how do you know that?” she quipped in hurried anger.

Laurel’s resigned sigh could be felt through a thousand world’s when she replied, “Because I may have pushed them apart as children and, then again during highschool but, he didn’t have to follow her…”

Sara’s body froze, “He didn’t follow her,” she argued. “He didn’t attend the same college…” Sara’s eyes flared in tormented realization, “Laurel how could you?”

“It was easy,” she shrugged. “I was sick of living a lie. He was now longing for a lost love and, I’d discovered that I was beginning to develop a liking for Tommy. He agreed he was sick of living a lie so we made a hollow deal. I’d gave him the name of a college that she might have chosen if he promised to talk his father into paying for my four years at Yale. I mean due to our mother’s relationship with Robert we could easily afford it but, again I wanted more. When he agreed and, then committed to the school I said she’d chose I offered her the scholarship to the one at the other end of the continent. I did that when Robert threatened to tell our father about his relationship with our mother. He realized what I’d done but, went down the road that Robert wanted and, in return I was free to pursue Tommy while our mother’s secret remained just that a secret.”

“Why didn’t he transfer?” Sara questioned as her cheeks flushed with hurried anger. 

Laurel’s pale eyes fell to the floor before she mumbled gently, “He tried but Robert threatened to cut off the scholarship money if he even breathed her name. He wasn’t willing to hurt her so he fell in line.”

Sara’s eyes we’re beginning to grow angier as each simple minute passed. Laurel knew her next confession would be even harder to bare so she let her sister choose the pace. Sara’s shoulders slumped when her chin fell to her chest in despair for her friend’s unacknowledged pain. “The engagement was fake wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Laurel sighed painfully. “I wasn’t aware of it at the time but, Robert threatened more than Felicity’s career to secure his obedience that time,” she added in disgust.

Sara’s skin paled, “Laurel…” she warned gravely without uttering another word.

Laurel’s eyes slipped to the antique engagement ring on her left hand as her lungs collapsed with the words she’d been holding in for nearly two years. “The night Oliver disappeared was when it all changed for me…” Her pulse quickened without warning, her temples ached and, her body shuddered when the memories of that night washed over her wrecked soul. “He’d caught us,” she finally stammered. “He’d showed up and, caught us…” she heard Sara’s low breaths vibrating through her pale skin. She felt the air around them growing colder as the sister’s silent feud began to slightly boil. “He ran from the house and, of course Tommy followed him…”

Sara’s voice stopped her rambling, “Get to the point Laurel….”

She nodded shamefully as she stared blankly at her engagement ring. “I put my robe on and tiptoed down the stairs. Robert was on the landing with a half naked Tommy beside him. They were yelling into the night and, making what I’d hoped were just idle threats…”

“Idle threats?” Sara poked with venom.

Laurel’s sighs grew more despondent, “They threatened to seduce and kill Felicity if he didn’t give them the ledger.” She saw Sara beginning to stand so she rushed through the rest of her tortured confession. “Oliver threatened to kill them before he disappeared down the side of the mountain,” she blurted out. Sara’s body froze so she kept talking even if the result was poor. “Robert wanted to follow him but, it was me who told them no. I convinced them that no one could get down that mountain alive. I’m the one who made sure they didn’t search the town the next day, I’m the one who made sure Felicity was unharmed,” she finally panted as Sara’s form fell limply back into the vinyl booth.

Her sister’s eyes grew to the size of silver dollars when she finally rasped, “Laurel what are you saying?”

She glanced her ring one last time then breathed, “I’m saying that Oliver Queen never died.” All that she heard after that was the sound of her sister’s coffee mug shattering into thousands of nearly invisible shards.

* * *

 

Across town in an office made of mortar and endless glass sat a dissatisfied man who was supposed to be in China and, the boy who’d never stand anywhere other than in his endless shadow. Robert had built an empire on the backs of those who’d rather work for the tyrant and, survive rather than die for an act of true bravery. He leaned back along his comfortable office chair and stared towards the boy he’d groomed to take the mantle once his final act of vengeance was complete. The boy’s raven black hair was trimmed to perfection, his chocolate brown eyes were cold, his smile was soft and his complexion was fair. To all accord’s the man before him was an Adonis and, yet something still felt off.

Robert flexed his fingers beneath his chin as he swiftly crossed his legs. “Did you call the number again?” he questioned sternly while the darkness of the nearly spent night continued to wane on around them.

His chosen heir;s brow lifted in shocked bemusement, “You act like you don’t know it’s Laurel who we’re waiting for.” Robert eyed him sternly which made his younger counterpart shuffle forward, “Oh please don’t tell me you’re still doubting her?” he provoked with humor edging his indignant tone.

The bright halogen lights made the white of his once salt pepper air seem like freshly fallen snow as he cocked his head suggestively. The younger man frowned at his muted response and, proceeded to lean forward until his elbows were resting firmly over the ledge of the glass table. He raised his other brow, his forehead wrinkled and, his body shifted until Robert’s own felt ill at ease in the other office chair. His lips frowned when he asked again, “Are we really going to discuss this?”

Robert’s aging skin seemed to fold over and over again along his furrowed brow as he pursed his lips and, challenged his adoptive son’s position. “She’s nearly an hour late son.”

Tommy’s shoulder slumped, “So? She’s been late before but she’s always delivered the intel.”

Robert nodded grimly, “Yes but at times it’s taken a bit more prodding than I would have cared for.”

Again his son volleyed, “Well if you’d actually include her in the plan then maybe she’d be more timely with her reports.”

Robert chuckled darkly while contemplating his son’s faith in someone he himself had so easily corrupted so many years before. His cruel smile made the younger man’s skin appear nearly ashen beneath the bright office lights. He rolled his fingers beneath his astute chin and, finally began to ponder aloud. “Tell me son did your beloved Laurel ever tell you about the terms of our previous deals?”

He watched with humor while Tommy’s eyes slipped into thin slits of unfocused shame, “She didn’t elaborate but, given what I’ve helped you do I truly didn’t care,” he hissed lowly with all the bite of untrained gopher snake.

Robert’s cold eyes finally found warmth as he continued to poke the hissing snake with a stick that it would never fully conquer. “Well then perhaps I should enlighten you…” he suggested purely to amuse himself even further.

“It doesn’t matter she’s on our side and, by the end of the month the deal will finally be done,” Tommy very carefully snapped with rage bubbling beneath his well coiffed surface.

“Very true,” Robert barked in agreement, “and yet here we are days before the deal is done with the same unanswered question.”

He felt Tommy’s gulp when he finally said, “And that would be?”

“That my son would be the truth in regards to Oliver’s death or, have you forgotten how she convinced us that he couldn’t have possibly survived that night?”

Again Tommy’s audible gulp made something in Robert’s dark heart sing like a chorus of a thousand weeping angels. “She followed Felicity to the house and, once she’s confirmed that my ex-girlfriend is utterly alone she’ll call but, beyond that she’s given us no reason to doubt her loyalty.”

Robert’s shoulder relaxed, “No but, she’s never been afraid of changing her mind now has she?” he snipped quietly.   
Tommy’s shoulders sank, “You think we should proceed with plan B don’t you?” he finally breathed as the air around them grew colder.

Robert rubbed his chin softly as if he was still contemplating the thought. Tommy’s narrow eyes grew sad when Robert’s lips finally moved into a very swift, “Yes…”

* * *

 

Sara gazed over the broken shards, she didn’t even hear the frenzied steps of their aging waitress as she came bustling toward them with her broom in hand. “Well I’d say you’ve had enough caffeine for one day,” Sara heard her lightly chide as the pieces before her began to vanish.

She heard Laurel’s soft, “She’s just jumpy Trudy. We Lance women tend to be that way when our entire world’s just been changed.”

She heard Trudy’s quippy, “Well then I’ll get her some water that should help settle those nerves.”

She even caught Laurel’s nearly silent, “Water won’t be enough I’m afraid,” as her steps carried her away. Sara heard everything around her and still all she could say was nothing.

Laurel’s fingers tapped along the table with frenzied ease while Sara’s mind washed through the words she’d just been told. She felt her vocal cords crack when she hoarsely whispered, “Does Felicity know?”

She couldn’t take her eyes off the table as Laurel’s words floated towards her rigid form, “Yes she’s with him right now.”

Sara’s voice cracked as a shrill, “SHE’S FUCKING WITH HIM?” filled the otherwise silent room. Sara saw Trudy’s retreating form through the narrow window of the kitchen door as Laurel’s eyes gently flared in warning. Sara adjusted her shoulders and lowered her voice when she finally repeated, “She’s gone to that damn house to what be with him?”

Laurel’s soft eyes fell in dismay, “Sara she didn’t know he was alive she just found out.”

“Oh…” she croaked feeling completely ashamed. The space between them felt like miles instead of feet. The room’s warm hue seemed to provide little heat as the two sisters stared blankly at the other.

“Are you going to ask your questions?” Laurel finally gulped once another five minutes passed.

Sara glared but replied swiftly with, “Yes but I’m trying to decide which ones I’m most desperate to have answered.”

Laurel nodded falling quiet until Sara could sort through her haphazard feelings. Her tongue felt bigger than her mouth while her eyes felt dry and, almost scratchy as she blinked them furiously. Her head felt full and, her heart felt weak once she began to speak in fragmented pieces that would be worthy of Felicity. “Our mother’s affair with Robert was why we had money correct?”

She noted with a small degree of passing satisfaction that Laurel was choosing to remain quiet while her head slightly bobbed. Once Sara saw her weakly given yes she moved forward with the harder questions, “Is she the good guy or the bad guy?”

Laurel’s lips pursed, “I didn’t say she was apart of Robert’s schemes….”

Sara’s angry eyes rolled slowly, “You’re many things but one of them was always loyal…” she took a steadying breath when she added, “to our mother. If you went along with hiding their relationship then it stands to reason that your driving force in finally helping Oliver is solely rooted with her.”

Laurel grinned in satisfaction. “So you’re first question is really why?”

Sara mumbled darkly, “Followed by when, where and how but yes I want to know why.”

“It’s really simple Sara that bastard killed our mother and, the ledgers are why,” Laurel simply breathed like she was saying hello or even goodbye.

Sara’s face paled until she was sure her skin was translucent, “I want the story Laurel,” she muttered lowly. “I want the story behind that last horrid statement…”

Laurel’s body shook as her voice quivered and, her eyes sunk to the depths of a soul that had nearly been lost.

* * *

 

_“Did you see the latest report? They think they spotted him Greece this time,” Laurel called out towards the back wall of their oversized bedroom. It had been two weeks since that horrible night at the summer house and, still she couldn’t shake the jumping vipers that seemed to swim freely through her stomach._

_Tommy poked his head out around the corner and gave her a toothpaste filled grin, “Yeah but that’s good it means they aren’t digging into our whereabouts,” he suggested before she heard him spit into the bathroom sink._

_She pulled at her nightgown softly while the lights of the flickering screen continued to bounce along the white walls. “Yes…” she sighed, “and how about the other loose end? Have you decided how to proceed with that minor detail?”_

_She heard the bathroom sink filling slowly with running water. Tommy spit once more before he yelled, “I told you Laurel I had a freaking relationship with the girl! She’s never going to be in any real danger.”_

_She rolled her eyes and reached for the television remote, “Yeah says the man who apparently forgets what I’ve done to keep Felicity away from Oliver.”_

_Tommy’s scowl made something in her shake with unflinching laughter, “She makes him nervous that's for damn sure.”_

_“Yeah why is that anyways?” Laurel called back once the room was filled with nothing more than the pleasant sounds of their oddly comforting bedtime conversation._

_She heard the front door of the medicine cabinet open and, then close as he called back to waiting form. “It has to do with those damn ledgers and the equations we’re using to purify the city.”_

_Laurel pushed. She didn’t want to push but Oliver was willing to die for this woman and, he was willing to die to make sure those ledgers were given to the right people. She’d spent her entire life lying, she’d spent her entire life begging for the scraps of the Queen empire only to realize that she like so many others was expendable...the very thought alone made her bones rattle with unexpressed fear so she pushed until her heart wept. “Not to pry but ummm how does she factor into that exactly?”_

_Tommy switched off the bathroom light and came padding towards her slowly. She eyed him cautiously as he slowly placed his knees along the head of the bed. He slowly began crawling toward her on his hands and knees until his chin was perched along her stomach. She swept her fingers through his raven black hair gingerly while his fingers began trailing along her upper thigh. “Okay so obviously my dad and your mom were a thing,” he started with the tone of her lover instead of her keeper. She traced along his eyebrow with her index finger while he continued to softly speak. “Your mother was old money that had fallen on some hard times, my father was well a Queen…”_

_Laurel nearly jabbed him in the eye for stating the obvious, “Baby get to the point,” she pleaded quietly._

_He laugh made her stomach feel warmly sated by the comfort of his touch. He smiled slowly until his eyes crinkled at the corners. “My point my love is the plan to purify the city was your mother’s and the equations were actually developed by Felicity’s father.”_   
_She pushed just a bit harder as he slowly began to trace innocent circles along her hip bone, “So he thinks the only person who can decode the equations and, put a stop to his plan is Felicity because her father originally created them?”_

_Tommy nodded until her lower stomach yearned for something more than whispered words, “So you see why he wanted them apart? I mean if Oliver knew what those equations meant he would have destroyed our entire family....”_

_Laurel’s body hummed just like it had the night Oliver had disappeared down the side of the mountain, “Why? I mean it’s not like you’re planning to commit mass murder right?”_

_Tommy winked as he trailed his fingers along her hip. She felt her slip moving along her waist as he began to gather up the silk fabric. He grazed his lips over her newly exposed hipbone as he whispered along her heating skin, “How about we talk about something a bit more stimulating…”_

_With her fingers tangled in his hair she shut her eyes and roughly bucked her hips as his tongue circled her entrance...._

* * *

 

“Ewwww,” Sara screeched. “I wanted to know about our mother’s death now how your boyfriend makes you come!”

Laurel flushed as the memory of that night dissipated. She cleared her throat roughly once her body was no longer humming for Tommy’s torrid touch. “Right so anyways once he fell asleep I managed to sneak into the office he had set up in the spare bedroom.”

Sara sipped at the water Trudy had managed to deliver while Laurel had been reminiscing. She played with the straw by bending it with her teeth as joked, “So is it normal for him to doze off after you two have sex?”

Sara was rewarded with a glare and, even a hesitant smile. “Yes and, once I was in the office that’s when I found copy of the ledger that Oliver must have found. Most of it was gibberish but the envelope stuck between two very stiff pages wasn’t…” Sara’s mouth parted as the straw slipped from her lips. “The letter was dated two days before the office explosion at QC and it was addressed to me…” Sara gasped as Laurel continued to speak. “Our mother wanted to purify the cities population by using equations to determine which groups of people would be genetically suited to eachother. She thought she was finding a way to rid the city of poverty but, where she saw good Robert saw greed. The letter went on but…”

“Laurel why did Robert kill our mother?” Sara finally wept as a lone tear cascaded down her slim face.

“He killed her because she realized he intended to commit murder through a genetic specific virus that affects about two thirds of Star City’s population.” 

Sara wept, “And why is Oliver so important to the plan?”

“Because our mother set up a trust. In that account is the final equation for Star City’s destruction,” Sara felt the minutes turn to hours as Laurel’s story finally came to it’s closing act. “The account will only be released to the rightful Queen heir…” she gulped then added a strangled, “On his wedding day.”

The pieces finally fell into place. Their mother Dinah had an affair with Robert Queen. They together had planned to rid the city of poverty until Robert saw another possible route to untold power. Dinah had contracted Felicity’s father to create the master equations for the cities purification as they had termed it. Robert wanted Felicity and Oliver kept apart because she was smart enough to figure out what the equations were really for… and if Oliver truly loved Felicity as Laurel claimed then he’d never be able to hide something so horrific from his best friend. She still didn’t know why Laurel decided to help Oliver now, nor did she understand why Robert wanted his own son dead but, she knew that Felicity was in danger….

She cast a weary look towards the darkened skies before her tormented gaze fell back upon Laurel’s scrunched up face. “They wanted Oliver dead once he found the ledger didn’t they?” she asked lowly.

“Yes. If he’d married me they would have gotten the final equation from the trust. Then he was going to be the scapegoat for the media once they’d released the virus and killed nearly half the city. He would be the villain and, they would be the heroes but, once he found the plans they decided he was better off dead than alive,” she echoed as Sara’s journalistic mind ran through the facts.

“And Felicity?”

“She was only a factor once he left her that damn voicemail. Otherwise they’d removed her as a threat or at least they thought they had…” she whispered plainly.

Sara glanced at the clock. It was nearly 4am. If Felicity was with Oliver she’d soon be trying to decide what her next move would be. Sara bit at her straw as Laurel sat before her with her soul bared and her body wrecked. Sara clicked her tongue, “We have to tell them…” she rasped as the clock signaled the changing of the hour.

Laurel’s eyes fell to the floor, “I agree,” she mumbled as her life began to shift.

Sara placed her cup on the table and reached for her keys. Laurel followed her actions with her eyes then asked, “You’re not going to confront them now are you?”

Sara grinned, “No she hasn’t seen him in two years and, she’s coming back home in two days time.”

“So where are you going” she asked in confusion as she glanced over the keys.

Sara chuckled as she stood, “We are going to do some research.”

Laurel gasped, “We?”

Sara nodded, “Yes we so are you coming or not?”

Laurel stood as she asked, “Where are we going?” while Sara threw a ten dollar bill on the table.

She swept her braids off her shoulders and replied while she moved swiftly toward the front door, “To see a Queen…” 


	8. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity finally have a frank discussion about their real feelings for eachother and, why perhaps things between them really went wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter 8 Feelings** **  
**

 

 

The rattling branches along the dust smeared windows slipped around his sleeping body like a comfortable, oversized quilt. The sounds of the house settled his nerves and, eased his soul while his troubled heart ventured down a path that he’d traveled alone for nearly two years…

* * *

 

The dreams always started out the same way. He’d awaken to nothing but, the bleak darkness of an empty or even lifeless room. The walls were colorless, the floors were nondescript all that was ever clear was the one, lone chair that his slouched form covered completely. The old metal seemed to slouch beneath his heavy, well developed form with every slight breath he’d manage to draw into his aching lungs. He’d start with his chin touching his sternum, his hands were always running along his trousers gently as the low familiar chuckle rang out from across the room. At first the sound of her low, painfully heartbreaking laugh would seem staggered as his mind let him slip into his own pit of inescapable guilt. He’d hear the click of her narrow heels along the floors as her slim shadow slithered along the opposite wall. Finally the taunting voice would call out to the darkest part of his soul. “She’s no longer your’s…” the familiar voice would cackle brightly. “You destroyed your only chance at perfect happiness,” she’d then taunt with the venom of a scorpion.

Once those words slipped past her forked tongue Oliver’s head would began to rise until his chiseled chin was looming towards the shadows before him. His tormentor's face was always obscured, all he could see was the way her slim shadow danced along the cold, blank floor. She let his heart plummet with a tragic thud before her serpent like tongue would slowly begin to crush the remaining shards of his destroyed heart. She’d then slither with soft almost romantic sounding syllables, “Heartbreak can’t be healed by sacrifice Oliver. Your lies,” she continued taunting, “your actions are what drove her away…” He’d manage to keep himself in check until her shoes ticked along the floor. His fingers brushed along his knees slowly once her piercing blue eyes came scorching through the bleakness that surrounded them. Her invisible lips would then shatter his soul as she whispered darkly, “It’s what drove us apart…”

* * *

 

Oliver’s eyes danced beneath his closed lids as his heart thudded rapidly in his spent chest. The pain of the dream spread through his heart slowly before moving towards his extremities with ease as his stomach rolled with gnawing confusion. For the past two years the routine had always been the same. He’d close his tired eyes after a trying day only to be greeted by the same horrible dream. Each time he found himself in some nameless space on the same uncomfortable, metal chair with her voice taunting him from afar. The sweet honey of her likeable tone would start with whispered musings before she moved towards the harsher truths that Oliver still refused to openly acknowledge. Then as if by force his eyes would close as his heart entered the created emotionally, drunken stupor of his own making.

What made the experience horrifying laid in the fact that his starved soul both feared and, also craved the dreams. He craved them because in some twisted way those few lost moments let him see her; he knew the moment the dream began he’d once more see those perfect eyes through all the darkness that followed him around like a cold, cloud of despair. Oliver swallowed the forming lump around his constricted throat while he searched in vain for the warmth of her flesh and, blood body. With his eyes still closed he spread his fingers along what was her side of the bed. At first he was met with the tangled sheets that felt cold and, woefully untouched. He brushed his fingers along the slightly dipped surface searching for any sign that he hadn’t simply conjured her in another destructive dream. Once his fingertips reached her empty pillow his sigh of dashed hopes filled his deflated lungs as he slowly began to open his blurry eyes. At first all he saw was darkness with the only sign of light coming from the bedroom window. Then as if she’d been summoned she appeared with her temple along the large windows wooden frame.

His heart instantly seized….

Felicity was there. She wasn’t just a figment of a dream he’d used to torment himself. She was standing there with her back toward him while she pulled her fingers down the rain speckled glass. The pale moon lit her face with an ethereal glow as the night around them continued to slowly wane. His frozen heart stuttered at the mere sight of her. He carefully shifted his head along the soft linens of his pillow once more. He kept his fingers tangled within the useless mass of her tangled sheets while he finally drank her in with his eyes alone. She crossed one ankle over the other, his eyes raked over the soft lines of her calves as she slowly slipped the nail of her big toe up and, down the bone of her ankle. The small movement caused her hip to slip along the window frame. He smiled when the fabric of the loaned shirt crinkled up the pale skin of her smooth hip. Savoring the idea for an idle moment he pretended that his fingers were roaming up the small of her back and, along her ridged spine. As he tangled the sheets around his trembling digits he continued to gaze at the slope of her small frame. Her hair in his dreams had been longer and, almost completely straight; now her curled waves fell to just below her shoulders.

His tee shirt hid the curves he’d spent one perfect night committing to memory but, it didn’t hide the shuddered breaths that kept escaping through what he assumed were her quivering parted lips. Feeling the hole in his heart grow he sighed until his desperate voice rattled them both to their unsteady cores, “God baby what have I done to you?”

Felicity’s fingers tapped along the glass. Oliver nuzzled his face in the warmth of the used pillow and, silently prayed for forgiveness; knowing his many sin’s had led them both to this moment. He’d begun dragging his heart through an emotional blender until her somber, cracked voice made him simply pray for absolution. “Do you know what it’s like to love someone who's done nothing but break your heart?”

A rustled, “Dammit Felicity,” could be felt through the thick air that loomed between both their wanton bodies.

“Well,” she heaved heavily. The glass before her fogged with her warm breath as a stinging, “You broke the damn rules...you kissed me, you took my clothes off and, you buried yourself inside not only my body but, apparently my soul so guess what!” she finally snapped.

“What?” he lowly breathed with hesitation.

Her emotionally driven, “I’m not the one who destroyed our relationship! You and, the endless road of missed chances and, numerous “misunderstandings” created the hatred that’s turned my once open heart into a wasteland of lost dreams,” cracked through him like lightening as it splits the sky.

Oliver’s eyes slipped upward to the web laden ceiling. Felicity still had her back toward him but he could make out the crinkled lines along her furrowed brow from her reflection upon the dust, stained glass. The moment his whispered, “I’m not the only one who made mistakes,” left his aggravated lips as he immediately wished for the ability to turn back time.

Felicity’s shoulders heaved in anger instead of simply unexpressed sadness, “You selfish prick,” she groaned. Her previous statement lingered for another brief moment. Oliver’s skin tingled, Felicity’s small body flared with years of repressed rage. Oliver rolled onto his back and, Felicity’s palms fell to the window sill. The space between them grew. Oliver knew he had one shot to force the truth out of her so he closed his eyes and, took a shallow breath…

“I’m in love with a fucking woman who’d rather run away than admit she feels the same fucking way…” he exhaled darkly with fear clutching at his broken heart.

As he suspected she instantly turned on her toes until her lower back was slipping against the window sil. Oliver’s eyes slipped to his chest. Felicity darkly retorted, “You ran from me multiple times…”

So Oliver punched back with a jab to the gut, “Yes the second time after we made love I'll admit I panicked.” Her entire body  seemed to hiss lowly until he gulped, “But you my love ran first…”

The air between them sizzled. He could feel Felicity’s wheels turning through the past ten years with inner dread. He knew he had her attention when she gulped roughly in silent apology, “Do you really want to discuss what happened back during our senior year of highschool?” Hearing her whimpering with fear told him that she'd decided that she too wanted more than hollow words.

Oliver closed his tired eyes. He heard her slipping down the wall until her head fell along the wall beneath the window sil. He swore he felt her small fingers crawling against the skin of her exposed knees as her entire body froze with confusion. He croaked slowly, “Laurel gave you your scholarship and, believe it or not I tried to go after you…”

“You what?” her voice cracked with surprise.

His soft smile of regret could have filled the entire ocean with endless life. “I found out that Laurel paid you to leave so I thought I’d chosen the school you had decided on running away to but,”

“But what?” came her rattled reply.

“But as always she hadn’t made you the offer until after I’d decided to pick the school she claimed you’d chosen,” Oliver’s frank admission left him cold.

Felicity’s fingers brushed along her knees, “Why didn’t you transfer once you realized that she’d lied to you?” came her startled question.

“What do you think?” he darkly chuckled with his eyes still closed to the darkness around him. “My father realized I was getting ready to go after you so he did the one thing he knew I’d never be able to forgive myself for,” he finished with a quiet mumble.

“He threatened to take my scholarship away I’m guessing?”

Oliver’s eyes opened slowly as his chest deflated with resignation. “I loved you enough to put you first baby.” He turned his head until their eyes were locked in an endless stare of unspoken truths. “I couldn’t destroy the future of the woman I loved,” came yet another whispered declaration.

In that moment Oliver decided stumbling Felicity was perhaps his ideal woman. Her pale cheeks turned light pink, her fingers knotted around her drawn up knees, her nervous eyes slipped to the floor and, still Oliver found he was completely smitten. He could tell Felicity was flummoxed. He’d just given her a piece of his unending puzzle and, it wasn’t a simple piece. This piece informed his choices for years and, up until now she’d never known how deeply he’d cared for her even then. Watching her struggle to find her voice was just as disarming as always but, waiting for her to speak still left him weak in the knees. “Well I’m just completely taken aback by that one…” she finally conveyed with a voice of timid acceptance.

Oliver’s eyes flickered to her mouth in that split second. For a single moment she wasn’t just the woman he loved or even the voice that haunted his dreams. She was for that one split second just his Felicity. She was his beautiful, smart, babbling, blushing, best friend who despite their often rocky history had somehow fallen in love with him. In that moment it finally occurred to him that she still hadn’t said it… His desire to place a simple kiss to her lips was halted by the sheer fact that her walls still hadn’t come down. Her heart was still at war and, it was completely on him. He’d done this to her and, for once he found that he didn’t need to hear the words. He knew what she was feeling because it was splattered across her shaken face. Feeling her nervous stare tighten upon his caused a sad smile to form, “When are you going to understand that if I could I would change our past?”

Felicity gulped, “So are you saying that you’re ready to admit that it was really you who walked away first?”

Oliver’s eyes churned with his own warring emotions, “You really want me to say it don’t you?” he jabbed lightly like they’d been arguing for a decade instead of mere moments.

She lifted her stubborn brow with those sentimental baby blues. Oliver felt her determination; he could tell her fear was gone as was her hesitancy to dig through the past. “That was the moment Oliver,” she declared surely. “That’s when you walked away first.” Her declaration made his stomach knot. Her eyes caught the flicker of doubt that was beginning to swell within him. She breathed easily while he suddenly felt queasy. “I know you agree with me,” she smiled. Oliver caught her telling lips curving as she began to point out his fatal tell. “Your eyes are beginning to shift from their usual hue of blue to that of a dull gray.”

A shallow, “Dammit,” raced through his clogged throat.

She cocked her head gently, “Did he threaten to kill me or something awful like that?” Oliver rolled his eyes without ever directly answering the question. She veered down another road which also caused his eyes to involuntarily roll. “Okay so if it wasn’t that then you just never saw me as more than a friend right?”

Oliver finally growled, “Felicity please don’t do this…”

She pressed and, Oliver knew exactly why. He’d accused her of running first and, that had awakened the sleeping giant that was Felicity Smoak’s pride. He’d accused her of ruining their chances by leaving; he’d tried to shift the blame to her and, she wasn’t about to let that go without proving a point. “No…” she declared clearly with no preamble of backing down. “You started this Oliver and, I’m going to finish it. You said I ran first but, I didn’t you did,” she pointed out as his eyes fluttered in annoyance. She caught the annoyed glance and, bribed him with a simple statement of fact. “You made me face my fear so now it’s time for you to face your own.”

Oliver’s face went slack, his lips fell into a thin frown while he mumbled beneath his breath, “I was scared…”

Felicity whispered softly, “And I wasn’t?”

Oliver hearing her plea rolled onto his side. He placed one arm beneath his pillow while the other remained along his waist. “We were too young,” he tried arguing just to put an end to the conversation that would only lead them down another dark and, unending road.

Felicity shook her head and, refuted his plea. “No you just didn’t want to date some awkward looking girl when the likes of Laurel Lance was available.”

Oliver shot back instantly, “No I didn’t want to lose my best friend to my own stupid hormones.”

His scowl faded from his otherwise perfect lips when she retorted plainly with little to no emotion, “And yet in the end you still lost me…”

Oliver’s fingers slid along the linen sheet beneath his pillow. Feeling foolish he asked almost shyly, “Is that why you started dating Tommy?”

Knowing her like  he did he was expecting outrage or even a surly retort but, for once her steely tongue remained oddly calm. She to his surprise simply smiled softly as her words slipped freely along her lips. “He was kind to me,” she explained as something more than a memory swept through her. “He actually listened to me gush about you and, even tried to help me understand my often confusing feelings.” Oliver was stunned. He’d always assumed that they’d come together out of desperation. It never occurred to to him that they’d actually come together out something as simple as friendship. “He loved me,” she mused quietly. “It was always an uncomplicated love,” at that Oliver silently gulped. “We both knew it wasn’t going to last forever because our forever’s were dating each other.”

Oliver’s brows furrowed, “So even back then you thought I was your forever?”

Felicity’s eyes once again fell to the floor, “I thought so yes…”

“Thought?” Oliver gasped in sorrow. “When did it become past tense?” he dared to ask once the shock of her words had finished rolling around his ravaged heart.

She glanced up with tear rimmed eyes. His heart raced with remorse once she gave him a watery smile. Again his heart constricted with the anguish that only her emotions could create. She dipped her head slightly but, what she said left him feeling more than slightly destroyed. “It became a thought when I found out you died.” It was the faint chuckle rumbling along her clogged throat that caused his heart to slip to his feet. “I’ve been pinning for a dead man like a fool for two years and, in some ways I still am I.”

Oliver’s guilt began to consume him freely. She laughed bitterly as another wall fell despite her best intentions. “I used to dream of us…” His world crumbled before his feet while she let her fractured soul take center stage for perhaps the first time in her entire life. “I’d always pick a moment from our childhood. Sometimes it was a stupid moment and, sometimes it was a sweet one where you’d rub the bridge of my nose with the tip of your own.” He felt his body shuddering as another bitter laugh filled the room. “I’d spend hours perfecting your damn face. I wanted every detail to be perfect and, I wouldn’t stop until it was.” Oliver felt his body shifting but still he remained on his side while he yearned to simply place his fingers along the side of her face. “Then once the pain of the moment became too great I’d simply slip back to our last night together…”

Oliver begged, “Felicity don’t do this…” once he realized where she was going.

She ignored his plea. She simply stared at him blankly like he was just another one of her tortured dreams. His desire to comfort her grew but, still he remained immobile knowing the second he even flinched she’d recoil beneath her internal shell. She blinked away a nearly shed tear before her voice shattered them both. “You had me Oliver,” her words flowed through them both like oxygen the only problem was it seemed as if their lungs now only yearned for anything but. She stung him sharply with her barbed words of honesty and yet, he couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the sight of her exposed heart. “You had me body and, soul; you heard me say the very worlds that  you’re now using like air.” She paused, her eyes flashed before her soul finally went dark. “And do you know what’s the worst part of this entire stupid story?”

He muttered, “What?” against his better judgement.

“That fact that they’re still true…”  

Oliver’s body finally began to rise. She mumbled, “Don’t…” roughly as his arms dragged him forward.

Oliver begged openly, “Felicity please…” as he continued to sit up.

She shook  but, it wasn’t just her head this time it was her entire body. “No…” she gasped this time forcefully. “I can’t tell you I’ve been in love with a memory for almost two years while you kiss me out of pity…”

Oliver croaked, “I’d never kiss you in pity,” as his flexed shoulders burned with the strain of holding his body at a rather uncomfortable angle. He whispered with grieve for his own soul coursing through his veins, “Baby I love you, please just let me show you…”

She continued to shake and exclaimed with quivering lips, “NO!!!”

Oliver’s legs began to shift beneath the thin sheet over his bottom half. His hands slid out before him while his spine yearned for movement. Felicity kept her knotted fingers anchored to her knees. He slowly slid his feet towards the ground. She remained lost and, isolated as his toes gently strummed along the floor. The sheet was displaced as he brought his bent knees towards his chest. He shifted until the edge of his buttock was along the edge of the mattress, he then placed his chin along his locked knees and ran his finger along the line of his sturdy fermor's. She remained lost, her eyes were blank, her soul was crashing and, he knew of only one way to bring her back to the present. Taking a shuddered breath he murmured with his heart at his throat, “LIssy please just talk to me.”

He felt the fog of her panic fading. The fire that ignited his own soul burned once more along her blue irises. Her stare flared with momentary anger before a shy almost coy smile appeared along the soft lines of her emotional face. Oliver taking in her awakened expression smiled shyly while he drummed his fingers along his skin. “I told you not to call me Lissy,” she implored with a degree of humor to her soft tone.

Oliver nodded his chin along his locked knees as he shrugged, “The Lissy always made you a bit combative so I figured it might bring you back to the here and, now.”

The air trapped within his lungs faltered a bit when her head rolled to one side slowly, “I see I’m not the only one who spent years remembering the details of our past?” she suggested softly with nothing but open, wide-eyed wonder in her cracked tone.

Oliver’s eyes fell over her shaking form. Her eyes kept shifting over his face, her lips shook as he sorted through his next few words. Her nerves were shot but, something in his gut told him to keep pushing. Taking a que from her previous question he smiled softly while a soft toned, “Lissy it’s just you and, me in this damn room…” she scowled at the use of her nickname but, her eyes twinkled in mirth. Oliver’s small smile became a full blown grin when he added with ease, “Talk to me baby, talk to me like you used to before my raging hormones messed us up.”

Her soft red, rimmed eyes flickered over his hunched form. She asked quizzically as she assessed his seated body, “You promise not to come any closer?”

She was hesitant in her request yet insistent at the same time. He mouthed an involuntary, “Fine…” as the fire that sparked his soul blazed through her eyes like an untamed wildfire. She gulped, “So where would you like to start?”

Oliver let the past few moments course through his weakened heart before his sighed, “So you never stopped loving me?” left his guilt laden lips.

Felicity much to his dismay began to nervously toy with the skin at her knuckles. Oliver tried and, failed to stifle his groaned, “If you break the skin I won’t be responsible for what I do…”

Her slightly impish, “Sorry?” left him both beguiled and, even a bit bewildered.

He grunted despite his mixed emotions, “It’s okay,” but still his eyes never once strayed from her nervous fingers.

Felicity followed his heavy eyes. He smiled shyly when she separated her hands; seconds later she had them racing through her tangled hair while a strangled, “Why can’t I say this to you when you’re awake?” left her quaking lips. 

Oliver’s own hands slipped to his ankles. His nervous, “Say what?” sounded foreign even to him as she mulled through her disorganized thoughts.

She raked her now distracted fingers through her messed hair once more. Oliver felt his stomach beginning to burn when she muttered beneath her quiet breath, “What I said so easily just a few hours ago…”

“What a minute…” he laughed almost involuntarily, “Does that mean you actually slept for more than ten seconds in the bed?”

Her rueful filtered through his aching heart like butterflies as they break free from their cocoons. Her smile tugged at the corner of her snickering lips when a light, “Yes you jackass I spent a few somewhat peaceful hours wrapped in your arms.” 

Her statement spurned him to ask, “They why can’t I touch you?”

“Because,” she gulped ruefully, “baby if you touch me I’ll get lost in you and, then my heart truly will be beyond repair.”

Oliver felt his heart stir with a flicker of endless hope, “You called me baby…”

“I say my heart will be beyond repair and, all you hear is baby?” she snorted sarcastically.

He shrugged, “What? I’m desperate.”

“For what a slip of the tongue?” she shot back lightly.

Oliver nearly sneered, “Nothing you say is ever unintentional…”   

He watched her cheek fall to her knees. Wanting to feel closer to her he mirrored her movements until it was blue on on blue. Their locked eyes held the truth of their linked souls while they each struggled for the right words to say. Her grumbled, “I hate how well you still know me…” was met with his equally strangled, “Well the feeling’s mutual…”

“I’m afraid to say it…” she whispered as if the walls held the wagging tongues of onlookers beyond a chain length fence.

He swallowed roughly, “How many walls do I have left to climb before you accept even a simple hug?”

She whispered remorsefully, “More than you want to fathom…”

“Then why are you still here?” he finally breathed once the small flicker of hope he’d held onto for two years finally flickered out.

She rubbed her cheek along the sharp angles of her knees as a soft, “Because if we’re going to stop Robert then the walls between us have to fall.”

The dying embers of his soul began to burn with dull life, “Did you just agree to help me?” he nearly choked as the fire in his belly began to bloom.

She blinked wearily, “Yes I did…”

“Felicity do you realize what this will mean?”

She took his rather pointed question and, for once didn’t tiptoe around the answer. Her breath didn’t hitch, her eyes never once left his as a soft, “It means I love you…” left her lips. He nearly lost the will to remain frozen when she said it again without hesitation, “Oliver I love you….”

“I thought you were afraid to say it,” he nearly choked while his heart fell through his chest with a sharp thud.  

Felicity didn’t falter. She just kept talking until he thought she’d fall to pieces like a memory before his haunted eyes.  “I’ve loved you since we were two three year olds playing in your backyard.” Oliver’s pulse hummed like a bird in flight. “You’re my soulmate and, whether I like it or not you’re my one, you’re my heart and, my best friend…”

“Felicity…” he croaked but she silenced him with a sharp glare.

“Love for us hasn’t always been romantic and, for this to work the platonic aspect of our love has to be the relationship we adhere to,” she warned him swiftly.

Oliver’s cheek brushed along his knees as he nodded briskly.

She continued, “I won’t lose my best friend again so this is the deal…” Oliver held his breath until he felt his lungs beginning to burst. “I’ll pose as your girlfriend or whatever while we’re in China, I’ll hold you hand and, kiss your cheek but it’s all to serve the greater goal.”

Oliver mumbled, “Felicity you don’t have to do this…”

“If I want you back then yes I do,” she retorted plainly.

He mouthed, “What?” as she smiled helplessly.

Her soft, “There’s no what Oliver you’re my soulmate remember? If I want more than memories then we have to rebuild what we both destroyed.” left him breathless.

“So we’re friends till the end again?” he asked in hopes of finding some emotional common ground before his own feelings once again took complete control.

She gave a watery smile as her eyes filled with unshed tears, “Don’t be playful Oliver, If you want me back you’ll have to become the friend I lost first,” she whispered painfully.

He choked back his own unshed tears with a gruff, “You know I’ll do whatever it takes.”

The smile on her lips grew slightly. “Yes I’m sure you will,” she managed to murmur while the air between them grew less stale.

“I’m still in love with you,” he added once he’d managed to blink back the tears that hadn’t managed to fall.

She gulped uneasily, “Yeah me too…”

Oliver chuckled at her unintended joke, “Must be hard to be in love with yourself…”

He watched her eyes clear until the redness of her sadness began to fade away, “It’s hard but, with friends like you things could always be worse,” came her teasing retort.

Oliver sighed knowing that the small moment of peace had to end, “When do you want to head to the airport?” came his heavy hearted question.  

She smiled at his diverting query before she gave him an unsteady, “Does right now work?”

Oliver grinned. Her confessions left her a free to aid him his quest but, it also left him feeling unsteady in regards to his future with her. Shrugging away his selfish, petty fears he replied with a gentle, “Yeah baby now’s good…”

“Friend’s don’t call each other baby,” she reminded him tightly.

His, “They do if they’ve had sex,” came out before he could stop his mouth from forming the flippant words.

With a tight glare and, a gnarled, “Oh this is going to be impossible,” out of both of them they slowly rose to begin the long journey home.


	9. You Still Have An Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity leave for China, Tommy has a meaningful phone call and Laurel finally confesses why she really called Sara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

 

 

**Chapter 9: You Still have An Out**

 

 

The car gently bumped up and, down over the rock laden back roads that took them away from the small oceanside town and towards the congestion of their bustling home. Sara’s fingers tensed along the soft leather of the steering wheel; she could feel every soft detail of the leather binding as her thumb strummed back and forth along the binding of the fabric. Her detailed oriented eyes slid along the darkened road as her passenger continued to audibly sigh beside her. Sara pushed back her aching shoulders while she tightened her grip along the wheel. Laurel’s body slid until her nose was level with the bottom edge of the window, her narrow frame sunk inward as another frustrated bout of trapped air fell from her small lips.

“Would you like to voice a thought or are you just going to sigh me too death?” Sara finally snapped once a set of headlights flew by them going in the opposite direction.

She kept her eyes trained to the road. Laurel sat beside her with nervous energy bubbling through her body, her fingers were knotted over her lap while her eyes scanned along the invisible horizon. Sara felt her breath hitch when a low, mumbled, “I haven’t told you everything,” left her mouth.

Sara’s fingers tightened over the wheel as she struggled to keep her voice calm. “Okay and what haven’t you told me?” she whispered tersely in hopes of eliciting some sort of honest response.

The road before them stretched onwards as the car fell into yet another state of uncomfortable silence. The car bumped along the road jerking them both forward, the top of Sara’s head brushed along the top of the roof while Laurel’s temple fell along the side of the door. A mumbled, “Those potholes are wicked,” made even Sara’s cynical heart smile but, the tepid, “It’s nothing forget it,” left her beyond annoyed.

Spotting a clearing up ahead Sara pushed the accelerator down. She saw Laurel’s eyes grow wide with questions as she maneuvered the small sedan into the clearing along the side of the curved road. She pushed the car into park before her forehead fell along the top of the steering wheel. She mumbled coarsely like she’d just swallowed grains of salt, “Laurel you still have an out…”

Her sister cowardly replied, “Yeah I know…”

Sara pushed as her eyes fell shut, “Then why are you really doing this?”

A small, “Doing what?” floated past her ears until her body hummed with unexpressed anger.

Sara pushed her fingers through her braided hair until she felt the ties along the ends. Her shoulders fell forward as her lips parted. Her mind raced with insults and low emotional jabs but, all that surfaced was a sincerely phrased, “How much danger is Tommy really in?”

Her reward for keeping her cool was her sister’s honestly voiced, “I came forward because of a phone call I overheard about three days ago…”

Sara’s forehead slid along her steering wheel until her temple was resting along the bridge of the sewn together fabric. “Laurel what are you trying to tell me?” she asked with a slightly clogged throat.

Laurel pushed her nervous fingers through her hair as her chin fell. Sara saw her sister’s eyes dip before a stray tear fell with nearly silent tap along her clothed knee. She took a staggered breath as the night slowly began to shift into day. Sara watched the sun’s rays flickering along the distant horizon as Laurel softly said, “I don’t think Tommy’s in league with Robert…”

Using her journalism training Sara replied, “Well if he’s not helping Robert then who is he helping?”

The sun had nearly crested when she breathed, “That’s why I really called you.”

 

* * *

 

 

He felt the droplets of water slipping down the rusted over drain pipes as they slid down the cold slope of his sweat laden neck. The chill of the mid-morning breeze swept this his nervous limbs like electricity spreads through copper wires. He paced around his metal surroundings with nervous energy coursing through his shuddering veins. The warehouse was empty except for a few rats and some left behind metal cans that used to hold various materials ranging from organic to inorganic. One had a small recycle logo on the bottom corner. He felt his body heave with misplaced amusement at the eco-friendly icon.

The structure itself stood at three stories high with an open ceiling that  held thousands of dangling, rusted over chains. The concrete floors were cracked, the dew from the morning air made everything around him feel saturated as his designer shoes slipped along the marred ground beneath his feet. He glanced out along the lightening sky while he held his phone timidly to her ear. His teeth chattered when he croaked, “I’m not sure I can go through with this…”

He heard a pipe crack above his head, he dodged the falling debris as the pieces of metal fell loudly to the ground. A soothing female voice cooed along the slope of his inner ear. “Talk to me Tommy, tell me what’s troubling you.”

He let out a wrecked, “You know what’s troubling me!” He continued to pace while the voice remained quiet. His tormented, “I’ve done unthinkable things that have turned me into a man who can no longer stand the sight of his own face!”

The voice uttered, “He made you his sword Tommy, you did what had to be done…”

Tommy screamed in internal agony, “NO! I DIDN’T HAVE TO BECOME THE MONSTER HE CRAVED!”

The voice stumbled over a weak, “He used you to save his son.”

Tommy’s eyes rose to the open ceiling before his knees gave out; allowing him to slip down to the hard, cold ground. He felt his knuckles turn white as he gripped at the phone like it was his only remaining tethered to his life. A wrecked sob left his gnarled throat, “No he used me to save his real son…”

Her voice swam through his cracked heart, “And we’re going to use him the same way he used you…”

Tommy growled with exhaustion, “So this Jones character is still your ace in the hole?”

Her robotic voice laughed quietly, “Yes once he’s back in China he’ll have what he needs to prove that Robert’s plan makes them all apart of mass murder.”

Another drop of water slipped down between his fingers, “Well he better hurry Robert’s talking about proceeding with plan B.”

She gave him an unsurprised grunt, “That’s hardly surprising since Plan B wipes the slate clean by using the equations to kill the investors and I suspect even you.”

Tommy’s clogged throat ran dry as his cracked lips let out a mumbled, “He’s going to kill me either way…”

She sadly let out a sighed, “Yes I suspect he is,” in agreement with his statement.

Tommy glanced out the open bay doors. His silver Lexus was parked by the small pocket door entrance, the light from the rising sun made the once fear inducing shadows disappear into uncomplicated shapes. His eyes fell to his wrist, the small numbers were beginning to grow as the hour waned. He breathed against the receiver harshly with murmured musings. “Either way he can’t do anything until after the wedding.”

Her voice cracked as the connection weakened, “So you’ll stay the course?”

His eyes rolled with a hidden, “Well duh” as he muttered, “She’s the one honest part of my life…” He swallowed a gulp of air then added, “Everything I’ve done is to protect her, everything I became was out of love for her so yes I’ll stay the course because it’s all about saving her…”

He could feel the tenderness of affection in her tone when she whispered, “Have I ever thanked you for loving my daughter?”

For the first time in a long time a genuine smile grew across his face, “Why do you still use the the voice modulator when we talk?” he whispered as if the walls had ears.

He felt the raw torrent of conflicting emotions racing along her words as her robotic tone cracked. “Why do you still whisper as if we’re about to get caught?”

“Touche,” he breathed once his chin dipped to his chest.

“That fire left us both marred with more scars than we both deserved,” she breathed with heavy sighs. “The day you pulled my half charred body to safety was the day that we both lost someone we loved...that was the day we both made a choice that now can never be undone.”

Bewilderment, confusion, hell even small amounts of envy for who he used to be swept through him angrily. His eyes flickered with unshed tears, he could still smell the smoke as it filled the narrow halls, he could feel the flames flickering along his skin, he could hear the frightened screams as the building’s occupants ran for cover. He could remember it all but, she was right that day changed everything. Her crackled voice spurned his heart up into his throat when she beckoned with his whispered name. His resigned, “Dinah can I ask you one last question?”

He heard the soft click as she deactivated the voice modulator. His eyes brightened when she replied, “Yeah sweetheart?”

“Please tell me when this is all over you’re coming home?”

He felt her tears through the muffled end of the receiver when she answered, “I certainly hope so….”

With that the line went dead. Tommy dragged his index and middle fingers along his tear laden eyes as he sighed, “Just a few more days…” He then stowed his phone and, began to stand so he too could start his day.

 

* * *

 

 

Feeling foolish was often an emotion that Felicity Smoak could deal with. She could handle the looks, the small sometimes discrete laughter that was barely muffled through parted fingers over grinning mouths. She could handle all of that but, in this moment what she could handle shifted into what was going to set her off.

The cockpit was a few feet ahead of her with two well dressed flight attendants guarding the pilots from the sounds of passengers as they milled on by. The floors were thin, sticky and, a horrid shade of pale blue. The isles were lit with the small strip of electric lights, the first class seats were larger than in coach but, that didn’t make them any more comfortable for long term flights. Felicity’s thumbs slipped over the buckle for the third time. A flight attendant with graying hair passed by their aisle for the second time in less than five minutes. Her plump fingers brushed past her shoulders, her simple thin mouthed smile grew as Felicity’s frustrated eyes flew up to almost her hairline.

Her soft, brown eyes glinted with unspoken, motherly comfort when she asked, “Is this your first time on an international flight?”

Felicity’s eyes fell to her chin before they tumbled over her wrecked hands. She mumbled with embarrassment littering her tone, “Am I that obvious?”

“Yes and, no…” she chuckled as she moved her palm down to Felicity’s vexed fingers. Felicity’s eyes screamed out thousands of non-verbal thanks you’s when the woman added without any prodding, “Mr. Jones always travels alone and…” Felicity’s body froze until she continued with, “you don’t look like his sister so you must be…”

“Megan,” she supplied before her trembling lips slipped into a timid frown.

The attendant’s cheeks flushed, Felicity’s interest grew as the woman’s soft eyes crinkled even further as her cheeks grew with a reddened hue. Her soft tones filled her heart with wonder when a whispered, “Ahh, yes you must be the wife…” floated through the otherwise stagnant air.

Felicity was about to push for more when a stern sounding cough broke through the haze of questions that up until a few days ago were never even there. His tempered, “Martha,” made the woman’s back slightly straighten. Even Felicity felt the tension as her fingers slipped off her seatbelt and, back to her rounded sides. ‘

“Mr. Jones…” she nodded almost curtly.

Felicity saw her soft eyes falling to the ground as Oliver very tersely replied, “I’ll help her with the seatbelt…”

Felicity’s lips parted to interject but, not before the aging woman snipped back, “I’m only doing my job…”

Oliver’s tense fingers slipped over her sturdy shoulder blade, his thumb brushed along the raised edge of her bone until she swore she could feel the grooves of his thumbprint being etched into the weary muscle. “Yes and, we both know what that really is,” came his clipped words.

Felicity’s eyes flew to between them, her neck remained rigid as the two fought their mainly silent war. Moments turned to minutes while they seemed to drag on into what felt like unending hours. Oliver’s touch was firm but, steady. Martha’s gaze was cold and, unwavering while Felicity’s heart raced like lava as it tumbles along the raised mountains edges. Her confused, “I’m missing something aren’t I?” moved Martha to at least speak.

Her kind eyes dipped to the ground but, it was her heavy admission that reminded Felicity of the danger that loomed behind every kind face. “I work for Calvin Edwards. He’s one of the investors that Kegan hasn’t managed to make nice with.”

Felicity’s eyes slipped to her lap as she mouthed, “Right…”

Martha moved to the back of the plane once Oliver let her push her way down the narrow aisle. He then moved his hand down softly over her shoulder until she let out a shuddered, “You haven’t let your guard down once in two years have you?”

She felt the bridge of his nose resting along her forehead as he folded his tall frame into the seat beside her. She pushed along the intimate gesture with her forehead until he breathed, “No and, once we’re truly alone I’ll explain but….”

“For now we have to be Kegan and Megan…” she gulped once the gravity of their situation began to push it’s way through her entire skeleton.

He slipped his nose along her forehead until she felt his lips along her skin. She swallowed a rough, “We’re going to have work on our boundaries…” as her eyes slowly slid shut.

He slowly twined their hands. She shifted against the back of the seat so her right shoulder was pressed along the thin cushion of the worn fabric. She let her temple fall along the faded blue of the padded headrest once she felt the rough whiskers of his chin brushing along her airline. His muffled, “Fine but, only because I adore you…” made her pursed lips bloom into a full bodied smile.

The cabin grew dark, the stale, recycled air moved around them in cold waves, the Captain’s almost robotic voice filled the cramped space with idle words, the true flight attendants performed their pre-flight duties as the plane began to taxi down the runway. Felicity’s entire body began to hum once the landing grew began to retract, her chest heaved with confusion as her body was pushed by the force of her own gravity. The plane gained altitude while her mind raced with thoughts like, what is Sara going to think? What if Oliver’s plan won’t work? Or even worse what if she couldn’t be Megan Jones? All these thoughts raced through her heart but, the only question that truly gave her pause was her wondering if she loved him enough to try…

It wasn’t until she heard the pilot’s voice crackle with the current altitude that she realized she wouldn’t be here if the answer was no.


End file.
